Chapter 12: Chapter Twelve

Akira stopped at the front door of the house she shared with Cort and Ford and closed her eyes. Setting the heavy bags full of everything she’d bought to show her commitment to this family at her feet, she rubbed the painful lines across her palms from the bags and took a moment to simply stare at the door, then at the yard. All perfectly maintained because well-tended landscaping was part of the rules for living here.

Somewhere Cort felt was safe enough. Somewhere they could live their lives and not worry about the past showing up at their front door and ruining everything they’d started to build together.

Not without warning anyway.

She’d gotten plenty of warning. Not that what Ford had told her ruined anything…

I am a horrible person.

She couldn’t deny she’d panicked when he’d told her he had a son. That he wanted to raise him. That all their plans, all their being careful and waiting, didn’t matter. She’d had moments when Cort talked about having a room for their baby, or just seeing Ford holding his nephew, made her want to toss all the plans aside, but then she spent days at her new rink, or with Jamie—who was terrified that she couldn’t be a good mother—and that longing to have her own child with the men she loved was easy to push away.

They had time. Until they didn’t. And with the season starting, her Ice Girls to take care of, her friends needing her…she was so overwhelmed she didn’t know what to do next. And didn’t want to say the wrong thing to Ford, but she’d still managed to. He was talking like he was ready to let her go, but she wasn’t going anywhere.

When Cort had texted that they needed to talk, she’d decided she had to do something to prove to both her men that she was in this with them. Only…she wasn’t sure what was expected of her. She’d just turned twenty-two. How was she supposed to be a mom to a ten-year-old? And that was how it was going to be. She’d be a mom, and moms were expected to make the most sacrifices. Her mother had when her family had taken in so many foster kids. She’d given up her own job as an IT specialist to take care of children who needed a stable environment, a loving home. Something both her parents had wanted to do, but since her father became the sole provider, he wasn’t expected to contribute at home.

Sure, it was easy to say he should have. To say his 9-5 hours shouldn’t be the end of his day when her mother was sometimes up all night with a new baby who’d been placed until their parents could prove themselves, while caring for the children who’d been with them for years, but he still came home to dinner waiting for him every night and got to relax and watch his favorite shows while Mom continued her work with the kids. They’d both come from big families. He was doing things the same way his father had.

From what Akira knew, neither Cort nor Ford had been raised by men who were involved with their offspring. Sure, Sutter was protective of Cort, was always there for him, but had he ever sat down with Cort to do homework? Helped around the house with chores? Taken part in discipline and all the parenting stuff that wasn’t easy or fun?

She didn’t know because they hadn’t reached that point in their discussions about having kids. But now…now all she saw was her dreams becoming secondary because she was the woman and that was how it was supposed to be.

The front door opened. Cort folded his arms over his wide chest, brow raised. “Is there a reason you didn’t let me know you needed help with all this?”

“I didn’t. It was…supposed to be a surprise.” She ducked her head as Cort shook his. “I fucked up.”

“Akira—”

“Don’t you dare get on my case about swearing. I’m not playing, Cort. I feel horrible. Ford needs our support. And I’m going to show him he has it.” She reached down to grab her supplies, grinding her teeth when Cort swiped them out from under her hands. “What about my last words didn’t you understand?”

“I thought the ‘our support’ was quite clear.” Cort lowered his voice as she followed him in, nudging the door shut behind him. “We finished a scene not too long ago and I think he’s out for the night. If you’re doing what I think you are, it’s fucking awesome and I want to help. You want to do this on your own? Fine. But at least let me keep you company.”

“And carry everything?” She rolled her eyes when his lips quirked. “I can manage at least one of the buckets.”

“Really?” He stopped, halfway up the stairs, and glanced back at her. “Show me your hands.”

Without thinking, she hid her hands behind her. “Why?”

“Exactly what I thought. You forget I met you while you were shopping for three people on your own, carrying a bunch of bags and refusing to ask for help. You’re tough, Akira. I get it. But I love you and I wish you’d fucking let me be useful sometimes.” He shook his head and continued up the stairs. “I can cook. I’m capable of doing my own laundry. I love that you want to do things for me, but why don’t I get to do things for you too?”

Frowning at his back, she hurried to keep up with his long strides. “You do things for me all the time. You put the winter, then summer tires on my car.”

“It’s September.”

“So you’ll have to do it again in two months.”

“And you folded all my work clothes yesterday.” Stepping into the spare bedroom, Cort set the buckets and other supplies on the floor. “We’re gonna have a kid here. Hopefully soon, so Ford’s dad can’t keep using the boy as a goddamn pawn. The three of us are gonna have to work together so we can be a family. So Ford doesn’t feel like he’s in this alone.”

“He’s not alone, but I know how it’s going to be. You work crazy hours. He’s at the forum all day.” She sighed and hugged herself, hoping he wouldn’t hate her for voicing her worst fears. “My actual paying job doesn’t take up as much time.”

His brow furrowed. “Maybe not, but setting up your school takes more.”

“That won’t matter. One of us has to be here for the kid.”

“All of us have to. Why would it be you more than me or Ford?” Cort shook his head before she could answer and stepped forward, curving his hand under her jaw. “Look at me. Your dreams still matter. Do you think we’d lay all the responsibilities on you because you’re a woman? Come on, Tiny. You know us better than that.”

She did, and she wanted to believe him, but she wasn’t sure he really understood how much having a child in the house would change things. “I don’t think you’d mean to, but with the customizing jobs you’ve been getting, you bring in more money than either me or Ford. And Ford won’t have a job at all if the team is moved, so he’s putting in extra time to make sure it isn’t. What does it matter if opening the school is put off another year or two?”

“It matters because you’ve been busting your ass to make it happen. You already have plenty of interest and you’re going to be a huge success. I own my own business. I can make my own hours whenever I want. I’ve got amazing people working for me who can take on any project.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “And if the team is moved, Ford will find another job. Or maybe he’ll decide to be a full-time dad. Would you be cool with that?”

Ford staying home all day, cooking and cleaning and going to PTA meetings, sounded about as likely as Cort trading in his welding gun and permanently donning a three-piece suit. But if he wanted to? “Of course I would. I don’t see it happening, but… I guess having had two shitty fathers himself, he probably wants to prove he can do better?”

“He does. And none of us are sure how it will go down, but we gotta let him take the lead. Just be there for him. Together.” He jerked his chin at one of the paint buckets. “Knowing you, this isn’t all you got.”

Her cheeks heated and she tucked her thumbs into the pockets of her light blue jeans. “I should have checked with Ford first, but I wanted to surprise him. Do something big to make up for not telling him right away that I’ll be there for him. I just…I just couldn’t. I was scared.”

“I don’t blame you. I’m fucking terrified.” Cort brushed a soft kiss over her lips. “You forget, I was the one looking out for Ford when he was with his son’s mother. Obviously, I did an awesome job.”

“He’s still alive. I call that a win.” She looked around the room, empty except for a couple of boxes of odds and ends they’d stuffed in here after moving. “I got a bedroom set with a desk that will be here tomorrow morning. I figured if I painted tonight, it would be dry in time to set everything up.”

Cort inclined his head. “It will be, but the job will go twice as fast if we work together.”

“True… But you don’t have to make up for being gone and distant and uncertain.”

“Neither do you.” Cort held her close and pressed his lips to her hair. “Akira, Ford doesn’t blame you for needing time to think about this. And neither do I. The only difference is, he was willing to let you go and I’m too selfish. I’d tear myself in two if that’s what it took to be with both of you. Which sounds fucking stupid, but I don’t give a shit. You didn’t sign up for being a mom. And if you’re not ready, that’s okay.”

“I’m not…but I want to be here. Ford’s son is…he’s family. And he needs all of us.” She inhaled roughly, face pressed against Cort’s chest. “Jaxon didn’t ask for this either. And the three of us can make sure he has a better childhood than Ford did.” She eased away from Cort and looked around the room. “Starting with giving him a place of his own. I spent forever just looking at different colors, and I know blue is cliché for a boy, but…we can change it if he hates it.”

“I don’t think he’ll hate it. I think he’ll be happy to finally get a chance to settle down. To have his own space.” Cort ran his hand over his close-shaved hair. “He’s spent most of his life in foster homes. He’s not gonna trust this is where he’s gonna be for good for a while. He hardly knows Ford. He doesn’t know us at all. But everything we do will help make him feel more secure.”

“That’s all I want. And my parents had foster kids most of my life, so I’m prepared for this not to be easy. I just…” One thing that made her relationship with Cort and Ford work was how honest they were with one another. She’d been holding back lately, which was why things had gone bad. But she wouldn’t anymore. “My mother gave up her career to raise so many kids and my father…I love him, but I used to get so angry when I’d see him come home from work and do nothing. Mom said that was how it was. A man loved his kids, but his job was to provide for the family. And her job was to take care of him. And all of us.”

“But you don’t want to live like that.” Cort smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m glad you told me. Explains a lot. And not something you’re gonna see happening with us. You do more than your share around the house out of habit, and I might tell you not to, but I haven’t really stepped up to make sure you don’t have to. I keep figuring it’ll piss you off.”

Akira wrinkled her nose. “Wouldn’t piss me off if you taught Ford to put his towels in the hamper.”

“Good. Because I will. And we’re all gonna sit down and figure out how to manage shit here together. Split things evenly because we all work and this ain’t the fucking 50s.” Cort bent down and grabbed the paint can opener, prying the top off one of the buckets. “How about we start now? We paint together, both get a good night’s sleep, then make sure everything’s set up nice in the morning. Keep Ford out of here so it’s a nice surprise when we’re done.”

For a rough ex-enforcer who’d once been everything she’d feared, Cort couldn’t be any more perfect. Talking to him sooner would have saved her a lot of stress, but she knew he understood how crazy life had been. And she had a feeling Ford did too. They always found their way to a place where love and trust and devotion was all that mattered.

They didn’t have to be perfect. They only had to be here for the long run.

And she was willing to do whatever it took to prove she was. One-hundred-fucking-percent.

Only…she wouldn’t say the last out loud. Cort tried to keep her from swearing because he was worried the habit would seep into her role as captain of the Ice Girls. Or as instructor at her new figure skating school. She’d never cursed much before she met him and Ford. Her parents would have grounded her for weeks.

Punishments from Cort were much more fun. Usually. Unless he was really disappointed, but she did her best to make sure that didn’t happen. Submitting to him was a much-needed release from the demands of her crazy life. A break that was too rare to ruin with being disciplined.

Not that they had time for that now. But…hopefully, soon.

“Please tell me you have a day off tomorrow.” Cort tipped her chin up with a finger, his lips curving. “I need to explore whatever put that look in your eyes. I haven’t seen it in far too long.”

“Our next practice isn’t until Monday, but you can’t take Friday off, Cort. You—”

“Are the boss. And choosing what days I get off is one of the perks.” He pulled her against him, kissing her until her head was spinning before letting her go. “First, we’ve got to finish your project.”

“That’s a good idea.” She cleared her throat and picked up the bag that held the rollers and paint brushes. “I—”

“—have been away too long. And forgot who’s in control.” He stepped up behind her, lips brushing her ear as he spoke softly. “When this is done, I’ll remind you.”

She shivered, leaning back and pressing her eyes shut.

Which is exactly what I need.

* * * *

Ford was pretty sure he hadn’t slept this long since he was a teen, crashing after a long night of partying. Only, unlike back then, he wasn’t waking up with a hangover. But he was still sore pretty much everywhere. Except where he would be if he’d finally convinced Cort to fuck him.

Considering the scene he’d done with Cort and Pisch yesterday, he was still disappointed it hadn’t happened, but he got it. He’d been mind-fucked instead. And thankfully hadn’t said too much…

He didn’t think he had, anyway.

Damn it, why couldn’t he remember what he had said? Cort hadn’t been mad, so he couldn’t have revealed everything. Just enough to make him feel like he’d mentally gotten his ass kicked. To feel way too exposed. If he let himself look back, he could feel Kyle’s hands on him. That fucking helplessness when he’d realized he couldn’t stop the other man from taking anything he wanted.

Only…he could. Cort’s idea of making sure someone was with him might work. Anthony Delgado wanted one thing. Something Ford was giving him. If Ford went to him with Cort, or Akira, Kyle wouldn’t be able to fuck around. Not if he wanted to keep living in Anthony’s fancy condo, getting money for everything he and his sister wanted.

Ford didn’t want to drag either of them into this fucked up mess though. Akira had enough going on and Cort could only be pushed so far, no matter what he said. Maybe bringing a friend would work. Ford would have to explain why, but Cort was smart. He’d get it.

They’d talk soon, but first, Ford needed coffee. He took a deep breath and frowned. Why was he smelling paint? Rubbing his eyes, he looked over at the empty bed. There were dents on the pillows. Cort and Akira had been here. After he’d fallen asleep. And they’d both gotten up before him.

Damn, what time was it?

He rubbed his eyes and stared at the clock. It was almost noon. He’d slept for over twelve hours. He rarely slept more than five.

Maybe his body had finally decided to catch up. Which would be fine, only he should have gone to the forum today to make up for missing that meeting. The last thing he needed was for Keane to think he wasn’t serious about his position with the team. If the team was moved the new owner needed to see he was willing to go with it. That he was an asset.

Not that he was even sure he was willing to move, but what else was he supposed to do? His business degree was a joke, he had no experience except what he’d gotten working in team management, and he’d only gotten that job because of his father, then his sisters. The man who’d raised him had gone to jail for money laundering, conspiracy to commit murder, and a dozen other crimes that would have kept him imprisoned for life. Ford had been cleared of any charges relating to the case, but who’d really believe he wasn’t just as dirty?

And even if they did, what the fuck was he even qualified for?

I really need that coffee.

He pulled on a pair of jeans and left the bedroom. Halfway down the hall, he heard strange voices coming from the spare bedroom. He reached for the handle.

It wouldn’t budge.

“Go downstairs, Ford,” Cort said through the door. “We’ll be with you in a minute.”

Frowning, Ford twisted the doorknob. “What the fuck? Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” Cort murmured something to whoever was in the room with him. Soft masculine laughter followed. Then Cort continued. “Will you trust me? Go make some coffee.”

A nod and Ford started down the stairs, not sure why he was so pissed, but he’d figure it out once he had some caffeine in his system.

Only, before he took his first sip, his mind was racing. Was Akira in there with Cort? Who were the other men? The three of them didn’t have an open relationship, but they’d played with others. Maybe Cort thought Ford was too fucked up for the games he was into? Some of the mechanics his man worked with were hot. Would Cort actually bring them here? Would he and Akira fool around with them to prove they didn’t need Ford at all?

Slumping into a chair, Ford took a quick gulp of the coffee he’d made much too strong, burning his lips and his tongue. He cursed, spilling half the cup over his hand as he tried to set it down. His hand throbbed as he rubbed it roughly against his flannel pajama pants, but the pain drew him away from the depressing hole he’d fallen in.

Footsteps in the hall brought his head up and he frowned as two men he didn’t know walked by, followed by Cort and Akira. Akira smiled and thanked them, then turned and rushed across the kitchen, wrapping her arms around Ford’s shoulders.

“Don’t look so pissed, we have a surprise for you.” She slipped into his lap, grabbing some napkins to wipe up his mess before he even had the chance to. “I wasn’t expecting you to sleep so long, but I’m happy you did. Everything is perfect. Or…I think it’s perfect.”

Ford nodded slowly, reaching for his cup. “Who were those guys? If they’re part of the surprise, why are they leaving?”

“Part of the—damn it, Ford.” She grabbed his wrist and stared at his hand. “What did you do?”

“I spilled the coffee you just cleaned up.”

“You’re drinking it black. And you’re grumpy.” She sighed as Cort stepped into the kitchen. “Can you get a damp washcloth?”

Cort frowned. “What did he do?”

“I spilled some fucking coffee, that’s all!” Ford eased Akira off his lap, rubbing his hands over his face and trying to steady himself before he made things worse. He wasn’t even sure why he was so mad. Lack of caffeine didn’t explain it. The pain had helped for a minute, but the rush was gone. “I’m sorry. I just…I wasn’t expecting you to want to play with other people so soon. I thought we discussed this stuff before it happened and—”

“Damn it, Ford.” Cort quickly wet a cloth and came to the table, laying it over the bright red blotch on Ford’s hand. “Listen to yourself. Do you really think I’d randomly bring a bunch of strangers over to fuck while you were sleeping?”

Put that way, it sounded ridiculous. But Ford’s whole life had become some kind of Greek tragedy and he kinda expected the worst. Saved him the trouble of being crushed when shit eventually went to hell.

“You won’t fuck me, so I guess…” The back of Ford’s neck heated as he realized how pathetic he sounded. He inhaled slowly as Akira rubbed his shoulders. “I don’t even know what I’m saying. I’m a goddamn mess.”

“You are, but that’s okay. There’s a lot happening all at once.” Akira gave him a hug from behind. “And you sound like you’ve got a bit of sub drop. Cort told me about the scene. It was pretty intense.”

“We’ve both had worse.”

“What’s worse? I’ve been moody for days after a scene and you always understand. And do everything you can to make me feel better.” Akira stole his coffee cup, went to the counter to refill it, and added cream and sugar before bringing it back to him. “You know the rules. This works both ways. We take care of one another. I just wish I’d been here earlier.”

“I get why you weren’t.” Ford carefully took a sip of coffee. Much better. He pressed his eyes shut. “I didn’t mean to go off like that, but seriously, who were those guys?” He glanced over at Cort. “Do they work with you?”

“No. They…” Cort’s lips curved. “I can’t tell you without spoiling the surprise. Finish your coffee. We’ll show you what we did, have some happy moments, and then you’re going to tell me exactly how you feel about my employees. Then I can tell you how I feel about you being around hot hockey players all day.” He hesitated, then looked over at Akira. “Both of you.”

“I rarely see the players, and Silver’s establishing some boundaries like other teams have to avoid any more scandals reaching the press.” Akira shook her head and blew a strand of hair away from her face. “Not so extreme that we have to leave a restaurant if a player walks in, or keep our eyes down if we cross paths in the corridor, but we’re not supposed to connect on social media and fraternization is ‘discouraged’.”

“How does that work when your co-captain is dating the Cobras’ captain?” Cort pulled out a chair, settling down and lifting the rag off Ford’s hand to check the burn. He frowned at the small blister forming over Ford’s thumb, but didn’t comment. “Silver’s not going to try and separate them, is she? Because that won’t go well for her.”

“No, nothing like that. From what I understand, Keane asked her to tone down the drama. One of my girls hit on a married man and his wife went off on Twitter. I talked to the girl—she thought he was interested in her because he smiled at her once. She was totally star struck.” Akira let out a soft laugh. “She’s only eighteen, not a bad kid, but she has a lot to learn. Silver and I went over the new rules she drafted and they’re fair.”

“That’s good.” Cort waited until Ford had finished half of his coffee, then stood, holding out his hand. “You need to know this was Akira’s idea. She let me help a little, after much persuasion.”

Coffee and the relaxed conversation had Ford feeling more human. And sane. This was his life. A normal morning with the man and woman he loved, talking about the team and their jobs. Not how much of a mess he’d made of their lives. Not whether they’d make it through the chaos that always seemed to surround him.

Taking Cort’s hand, Ford stood, smiling as Akira tucked her hands into the back pockets of his jeans. She looked happy. Excited. He wasn’t sure what had put her in such a good mood, but he couldn’t wait to find out. If anyone deserved some good in their life, it was this beautiful, strong woman. She worked too damn hard for his shit to be bringing her down.

“Okay, now close your eyes.” Even as she spoke, Akira slid her hands up his back, then over his eyes as though to make doubly sure he didn’t cheat and peek.

She knew him very well.

Cort led him forward. The door opened softly and the scent of fresh paint intensified. Akira’s hands shook a little before she pulled them away.

She inhaled roughly, moving to stand beside him. “You can open your eyes.”

Ford opened his eyes. Lips parted, he stared at the room that had gone unused for months. His throat tightened as he stepped forward and looked around.

The walls were painted a rich blue, and new, plain white curtains covered the large windows. A wide, blue and white zigzag rug covered the center of the gleaming, hardwood floor, by the bed so someone wouldn’t have to step on the cold floor first thing in the morning. The bed was a simple, white platform style with a wide drawer underneath, perfect for storing toys and games. A matching dresser stood in one corner of the room, and a compact, L-shaped desk was set up to the left of the window.

He swallowed, completely stunned by what Akira had pulled together in such a short time. If Cort hadn’t insisted on helping her, she would have struggled to get it done on her own. She’d done this for his son. His eyes prickled as he shook his head.

“Please tell me you don’t hate it.” Akira grabbed his arm. “I know the walls are bare, and I grabbed one of the blankets we already had, so it’s really plain, but I don’t know what he’s into and I figured you’d want to help him fix it up how he likes and—”

“It’s fucking perfect, Akira.” Ford blinked fast, pulling her into his arms. “I was too worried about proving I could be a dad to start setting things up here. And…I thought I might have to find my own place.”

“Fuck that. This is where you belong. Where your son belongs. Full stop.” Cort put his arm around Ford’s shoulders, his tone rough, but his hold strong. Steadying. “You’re gonna be an awesome dad.”

“I’ll do my best.” Ford took a deep breath, gently eased Akira away from him, and cupped her cheek as she met his level gaze. “Are you sure about this? I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you made sure my son will feel at home here, but it’s still…a lot.”

“Yep. But so are the two of you.” Akira’s lips quirked slightly. She licked her bottom lip, then glanced over at Cort, who smiled at her and nodded. “Speaking of you gotta start picking up your own towels.”

Ford’s brow furrowed. What did towels have to do with anything? “Ah…haven’t I been?”

Cort let out a soft laugh. “No. You haven’t. And Akira’s been picking up the slack for you, which isn’t fair. Your son will pick up all our worst habits. We’ve got to be a team, figure out the rules and shit together. One of them is gonna be not leaving a mess for someone else to clean up.”

Damn…this was actually happening. The conversation, the room, everything made Jaxon becoming a permanent part of his life more real. Ford had been terrified before, but somehow Akira and Cort talking like it was a done deal helped him look forward to the day his son would come home.

Laughing, he grabbed Akira and lifted her up against him, kissing her as she let out a surprised gasp. “I swear I’ll pick up my towels. And I’m sorry I’ve been a slob. I’ll do better. Prove I fucking deserve you.”

“You already do.” Akira wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling against his lips. “But if you really want to make it up to me, you can deal with the stained coveralls Cort’s hiding in the garage.”

“Deal.” Ford shook his head when Cort looked ready to argue. “You did all this after busting your ass at work. I need to take care of you too.”

Cort’s lips curved in a soft smile. He brushed his lips across Ford’s cheek. “Sounds like a plan.”