I want him inside of me. I want to feel my Nathan inside me.
Every hard inch.
His phone rings, and we both jump back from each other guiltily.
He answers it. "Nathan Mercer." He drops his head as he listens.
I stare at him as my heart hammers in my chest. With only the moonlight in the room, I can see the tip of his cock as it peeks over the top of his boxer shorts.
He's hard. Rock hard. I didn't imagine it.
His eyes rise to meet mine.
"Yes." He listens. "Give him the other antibiotic and begin fluids." He listens some more. "Call me if there's any change." He hangs up and stares at me for a moment.
Something hangs heavily in the air between us.
I swallow the lump in my throat as I wait for him to say something, and finally, he speaks. "I've got to go."
"Where to?"
His haunted eyes hold mine. "Away from you."
He turns and grabs his clothes in the darkness before he rushes up the hall. A few moments later, I hear the front door click closed.
He's gone.
What the hell just happened?
* * *
The alarm blares through my room breaking the silence. I frown sleepily and knock it off.
"Ouch." My head feels like it's in a vise. Those margaritas were the devil.
Hazy memories of last night's disaster begin to resurface.
Nathan didn't come back after he cooled down, like I thought he would. He never stays away when we fight.
We crossed a line.
I have no idea why that happened when it's never happened before. We've been drunk a million times together. We've cuddled, spooned, and damn… we see each other half-dressed all the time. I get a vision of him naked, and I remember how I couldn't look away. How he seemed more virile than ever before.
Jeez, my hormones must be crazy at the moment. I need to get laid, stat. This is turning into a nightmare. I reach over and grab my phone from the side table and check it. There are no missed calls.
Nathan's last words come back to me last night.
Away from you.
Does he blame me?
My mind goes back to that moment in bed, and what I said. Don't stop.
I wince in regret. Why did I say that? He knows I'm struggling with my libido right now, my hormones are running out of control and taking over. Did I force myself on him? I sit up, filled with disgust.
I need to fix this between us. I need to fix this now.
I dial his number.
Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. No answer; it goes to voicemail.
I frown, and look at my clock. It's now 6:00 am. Nathan will be in his car on the way to the hospital.
He's not answering my call. He does blame me.
I begin to get annoyed. Is he for real? It wasn't just me in this bed. He was hard and good to go, too. I hang up angrily and storm to the shower.
Damn him, I don't want to feel like shit. Why couldn't he just answer his phone?
I storm into the bathroom and turn on the hot water.
Damn fucking libido. That bitch is going to Hell and she is dragging me down with her.
* * *
I pace back and forth in the hospital courtyard. It's my lunch break and I need to talk to someone about this. I dial my sister April's number. She's my best friend, and I've been waiting for her to wake up. She's six years younger than me and has just moved to London. She got a scholarship for a law degree at some fancy university over there. I miss her desperately.
"Did you wet the bed?" she grumbles. "Its fucking early, Lize."
"Oh my God, April, it's a fucking disaster."
"What is?"
"Nathan and I made out," I whisper as I look around guiltily. "Well, we didn't make out-there was no kissing-but we felt each other up, and he was kissing my neck."
"Good."
My eyes bulge from their sockets. "What do you mean, good?"
"About time."
"Are you fucking insane?" I whisper angrily. "This is a disaster and now he's angry at me."
"Why?"
"Because he thinks I don't care about our friendship."
"Oh God." She sighs. "Was he hard?"
"Yes." I feel naughty even discussing this. "Very hard."
"Did you like it?"
"Will you stop it?"
"No, this was always going to happen. He adores you, I could see that from the day I first met him and saw you together."
"Have you forgotten one very important detail?" I whisper. "He likes men."
"And you, apparently." I can tell she's smiling.
"This isn't funny."
"It kind of is." She laughs. "Stop being frigid and just have sex with him to find out if he's as hot as I imagine he is. I want all the details."
"Oh my God!" I snap. "You are no help."
She laughs again.
"How are you anyway?" I ask. "Settling in any better?"
"Ugh, I don't know if I've done the right thing, Lize. I feel like a fish out of water over here."
"Oh no, why?"
"I don't know." She sighs. "Everyone in the dorms is just so young and into partying, you know? I knew I'd be a little older than everyone, and it's one of the reasons I came to London. It was the only place I could get a full scholarship that included all my accommodation. But seriously, the drugs, the orgies, the fake giggles… it's just not my style."
"They'll settle down. Surely they can't keep this up. What is it, like, week eight?"
"It's getting worse, not better."
"Why don't you move into your own place?"
"Have you seen the price of rent for apartments in London? It's ludicrous. Even the dumps are way out of my price point."
I exhale heavily. "Hang in there, babe. Try and find a better paying job."
"I am."
I smile. "I'm so proud of you."
"Thanks, Lize. Some days I think I must be crazy."
April broke up with her fiancé when she caught him cheating with a girl he worked with. He broke her heart. She packed her clothes and left everything in their house which they had bought together. She's now following her dream to become a lawyer, and she's starting over from scratch with nothing to her name.
She's the bravest, badass bitch I know.
"How's the coffee house going?" I ask.
"Good. I love it there, and the girls I work with are so nice. We're going out on the weekend."
"See? You'll settle in, I know you will, and I'm going to come and see you as soon as I can."
"Great, now go talk to Nathan. I'm sure he's as stressed as you are."
"Yeah, I guess." I sigh.
"Call me tonight."
"Okay, love you."
"Bye, love you, too."