Chapter 41 Want him all night
Focus shiv, focus.
“Is that a dance school?”
I really couldn’t imagine Jake going to dance class; it doesn’t really fit with him
“No, shia.” He stares down at me, blue eyes piercing. “In. The. Bedroom.
“Oh.”
Oh crap.
I gulp down.
“There’s no real difference between having sex and dancing.” He runs his hand up my arm, slowly, deliberately, until it’s cupping my shoulder. He starts to rub his thumb over my skin. It hums wherever he touches.
“N-no?” I stammer.
I mean what else can I say? I’m kind of having a pretty hard time concentrating right now.
“No.” He presses his delicious lips together and slowly shakes his head. He hasn’t taken his eyes off mine yet. And I suddenly feel naked, so very naked.
“It’s just unfortunate you have to keep your clothes on for one of them.”
“Um … well, naked dancing here might attract some stares, Jake,” I manage out.
I’m trying to remain calm, but my heart has exited on me, my legs are trembling and every sense in me has headed somewhere South.
Jake leans in close, cupping the back of my neck with his hand, his lips brush over my ear as he whispers, “And that’s why I prefer to dance in the bedroom.”
Holy shit.
He leans back and stares down at me, and then I suddenly see it there in his eyes, unconcealed.
The lust. The want. He wants me. He’s trying to seduce me.
I’m so completely fucked.
And now I’m left wondering how I never saw it before.
I’ve obviously been missing it all along. The flirting, his were not so innocent after all. The electrical charge I felt for him earlier, were maybe not so one-sided. The serenade at the live club. Sitting close to me in the car. The lack, or actual non-existence of other women in Jake’s life since I’ve been back in it.
It’s like all of my lights have turned on at once.
My head pounds, and my stomach tightens into a thousand tight, but very delicious knots.
And I’m here gazing back at him like a rabbit mesmerised by a beautiful cobra, and any minute he’s going to strike and I’m done for.
Jake lets his hands drift back down to my hips, then he takes hold of my hand and spins me around, putting my back flush with his chest.
His large hands span my waist holding me firm against him.
And I’m trying to pretend I don’t feel him getting hard against my ass.
It’s not going so well. I’m starting to lose any rationality I may have had.
I want him. I want him so badly. I’ve never wanted someone, as much as I do him, now.
So much so, that I’m actually trying to figure out some way to have sex with Jake without it actually counting as cheating on Pine.
Currently I’ve come up with the different time zone theory.
Okay, so I never said it was a good theory.
Then before I know I’m doing it, I’m moving slowly down his body, bending my knees, keeping my back flush with him, my hands feeling their way down his sides. Then I’m very slowly moving back up again.
I’m putting it down to the alcohol that I suddenly think I’m sexy and could ever pull off a move like this.
When I’m back to height, I rest my head against his chest, sliding my hands around him, holding him to me, pressing my ass against him.
I can feel his heart hammering in his chest. It makes me feel heady and like I’m suddenly in control here. I feel like I have control over Jake. It’s an insanely good feeling. Maybe sexy Shiv knows what she’s doing after all.
Jake suddenly grasps hold of my shoulders spinning me around to face him.
His eyes are smouldering. His look is dark, and inviting.
I want him to kiss me.
No I don’t. Yes, I do.
His hand goes to the small of my back, his other around the nape of my neck, his thumb resting lightly against my throat. And we are close. Dangerously close. Our faces inches apart, as he moves us both to the music again.
My breathing has hitched up, and so has his.
Jake – a sweet dream? Or a beautiful nightmare?
Which one Shiv?
A beautiful nightmare. This is Jake. This is what he does with women. It’s his MO.
Don’t screw things up with Pine for one night with Jake.
Finally sense grabs hold of me. I step back from him, freeing myself from his thrall.
He stares at me wanting, confused and utterly disappointed.
“Toilet,” I say breathless. “I need the toilet.” Then I turn on my bare heel and swiftly move through the parting crowd, heading straight for the ladies.
I lock myself in the cubicle and sit down on the toilet.
What the hell am I doing? I was so ready to kiss.
him then. Kiss Jake and more
Shit.
I don’t know what I’m doing. I think I’ve just had way too much to drink tonight and I was letting myself fall into something which felt altogether too good, but is so very wrong.
My hands are shaking slightly as I stare at the cubicle door like it might suddenly sprout a mouth and judge me.
What the hell am I doing?
I press my palms over my face and let out a long breath.
I was so ready to kiss him.
Actually kiss Jake.
And not just a small accidental brush either. A proper kiss. The kind that changes things. The kind you can’t take back no matter how much you want to pretend it never happened.
My heart is still racing like I ran a marathon instead of just dancing for a few minutes.
“Get it together, Shiv,” I whisper to myself under my breath. “Seriously. Focus.”
I drop my hands and stare at my reflection in the mirror after I flush, my cheeks flushed, my eyes wide, my lips slightly parted like I’ve just been kissed already.
Oh my god.
I splash some water on my face, gripping the edges of the sink.
“You are in a relationship,” I mutter. “With Pine. A good one. A stable one. Not this… chaos.”
I dry my hands slowly, buying time, hoping my pulse will calm down, hoping the heat in my body will disappear.
It doesn’t.
Instead all I can think about is the feel of Jake’s hands on my waist, the way his breath sounded when I pressed back against him, the look in his eyes right before I stepped away.
Wanting. Confused. Hurt.
Guilt twists in my stomach.
“Great,” I whisper. “Now you’ve hurt him too. Brilliant job, Shiv.”
I groan softly and lean my forehead against the cool mirror.
“Okay. You go back out there. You act normal. You say you just needed the toilet. You pretend nothing nearly happened. Easy.”
My reflection stares back at me like she doesn’t believe a word of that.
“Shut up,” I tell her quietly, straightening my dress and pushing my hair back. “We are being mature adults about this.”
I inhale deeply then push open the door and step back into the noise and lights of the club.