"She's watching something on her iPad," Levi told me when he got out of Ria's room.
I didn't look at him. I kept my gaze on the glass in front of me until I could feel him sitting next to me.
“Don't you have work? You better leave,” I told him lazily.
After that happened across from the elevator, I let them go. I went back to my unit first until they entered together and I think the child still had no idea what was going on.
I heard him laugh sarcastically. Next was his multiple curses.
“How can I fucking leave like this, Rae? Tell me,” he firmly said to me. I was still a little scared because of his voice.
I noticed the constant trembling of my hands resting on the table as I was biting my lower lip.
“Tell me, Rae. Aren’t you going to tell me this?” he still asked emphatically in an angry tone.
My eyes began to roll and search for the right answer to his question. When I felt like I couldn't really answer, I stood up.
"I... oh, gods," I whispered to myself.
Before I could take a step, my mind was almost shaken by his violent grip on my arm.
“Answer my damn question, don’t you really intend to tell me this? You hid her from me for five fucking years?!” He hissed, trying to low down his voice because Ria might hear that.
His expression dulled as his vein popped out in his neck. He tightened his grip on me for a moment and soon it loosened.
He almost let go of me and violently stroked his hair with his hand. I didn't know what to do anymore, I just sat in the chair there while chasing my breath because I was so nervous. I feel like I'm going to vomit because of so much nervousness.
“Why did you hide her from me? When did you find out? Did you know about it before we split up?” He authoritatively asked me as if I really needed to answer that.
I still didn't look at him but I just nodded. I heard him again whispering curses.
“Fuck it, Rae! Why didn’t you tell me?!”
“Because I wanted to tell you personally! I told you so many times I needed you but you didn’t listen to me! I wanted to surprise you but you weren’t there.” I couldn't stop shouting at him causing him to be alert.
His expression hardened while still looking at me. I could clearly see the variety of emotions there so I almost laughed. I hope he sees mine, too.
"If you just told me right away that you were, I would have—"
“You would have what? What, Levi? You would have chosen me over Mari? What do you think of me, the second option? I even told you about what happened to Arthur that time but you fucking ignored me! Why should I tell you about what I was carrying before if you don’t really care?!” I shouted at him full of frustration.
I couldn’t stop everything even the tears I had been holding back from coming out. The pain he caused me before was still haunting me up to this day and I don’t know what to do about it anymore. I don’t even know where else to put them in that part of my mind because it’s so crowded!
I firmly wiped away my tears and looked away from him when I saw pain and guilt in his eyes. I also saw the trail of his tears from there so I felt even more pain. Seeing him like this is still killing me. The fact that I still don’t want to see him hurting is that I can no longer deny that I still love him until now.
"Why is everybody yelling?"
The two of us quickly turned to the speaker and saw Ria looking back and forth between the two of us. I quickly wiped away my tears but it didn’t help because I cried even more when she ran to me and hugged me tightly.
"Why are you crying, mommy?" she asked me politely but I never answered that.
I pushed her away from me and then smiled at her. "Love... you know Uncle Emmanuel, right?" I asked her while still sobbing.
She immediately nodded and even looked at Levi.
“Yes, mommy. Why is he crying too?”
"Because... he's your dad and he missed you so much," I finally told her and continued to cry.
I saw her momentary shock before it was replaced by a short smile. Later, she suddenly cried and quickly approached Levi and hugged him.
I sobbed constantly as I stared at the two of them. Levi scrunched up his face and wiped his tears.
“D-daddy... what took you so long? I've been waiting for you... I've been waiting for you every day but...” my Asteria paused and looked at him. I saw her lightly punch her daddy's chest and then cry again.
“... w-what took you so long to come home. I waited for you every day... I waited for you for so long..."
I didn’t expect Ria to react like this because I totally thought she just didn’t have what she was waiting for. She’s always telling me how she was patiently waiting for her dad to arrive so I never thought she would react like this.
“I... I’m sorry, baby. Daddy’s sorry because you waited for me for a long time. I’m so... sorry, my Asteria,” Levi said to her.
I know I should’ve done this before. If I only knew that this is how my daughter would be hurt while waiting for him, I would have done it right from the start.
Asteria would not let go of her father until she fell asleep. I wish she would stay awake longer and they would talk more about everything so that we wouldn't be able to talk anymore. After Levi brought his daughter to her room, he immediately came out and looked for me.
"So... you didn't really sleep with Jaxon?"
I quickly turned my gaze to him because of what he said. His expression was still serious so I threw a pillow at him in the face.
"Why would I do that? Are you stupid?” I couldn't help but say to him that he laughed.
“I just want to be sure,” he simply told me and looked at the TV.
I looked at him for a while until I remembered something. After all, he knew we really needed to talk about everything.
“You can borrow her anytime you want. I don’t want to ruin your relationship with your wife and—”
“You seriously think that I’m married? Do you see a ring on my hand?” He irritably asked me so I winced.
"I just thought..." I uttered but I didn't continue when he suddenly approached me and slid his hand on my waist.
"What are you doing?" I hissed.
He just smiled at me while still watching TV.
“Asteria really look like me. When I first saw her, I thought I was looking at the child version of me,” he told me softly so I just smiled.
I don’t know if he brags that he looks like my daughter or what.