Chapter 55

He stopped buttoning his shirt and his eyes narrowed. She winced. That hadn't come out right. Nolan was nothing like the men Michelle went out with. It was a terrible comparison to make. She tried again,

“I love you Nolan, but two weeks ago, I had plans. I had gotten myself a job in Rosehill and I packed up to move there. I had plans…Good ones, and I don't trust my mom to be able to take care of Gran and Grandad properly. She's done this more than once. Why should I trust her to change now? My grandparents need me even if they say they don't, and I have to make sure they're going to be okay. As for Michelle, I know she has you, and maybe mom for a while. Moving to another place entirely for the second time in one month is a big deal, and I don't know if it would be wise to make another big decision like this over —”

“—Something that might not be worth it,” he completed for her.

It was such a harsh way to put it, but it was the truth. Somehow she'd thought of everyone but him. She'd made sure everyone was going to be okay…Everyone except him. He knew it was a selfish thing to think. They were her family and they'd only just met, but he'd let himself hope.

“Nolan—”

He was fully dressed now, and he didn't even pause to look at her as he stormed out of the room. A minute later, she heard his car leave.

____________

“I still think you're making a big mistake,” Michelle told Candace as she got into her car and closed the door.

“Wow,” Candace rolled her eyes, “As if you haven't told that a hundred times already,”

Michelle leaned into the open window, “I'm serious. You shouldn't leave. Look at you, I can tell you're heartbroken. Have you talked to Nolan?”

She’d known it was coming, that the question was inevitable. But she wasn’t prepared for hearing his name and fought the tears that pooled into her eyes. She swallowed, psyching herself up to talk about him. “He...he’s fine, I hope,”

Even if she changed her mind, she doubted it would make any difference. No one had seen Nolan since he left that afternoon. No one had spoken to him either. She'd even stopped by at his home but he wasn't there… Or so Maria said. Obviously, he hated her and maybe he had every right to.

Please let him be fine. Better than fine. She knew she'd pissed him off. She hadn't said much, but he was smart enough to fill in the blanks. She’d run rather than stay with him. Take the risk with him. Face her fear.

“He isn't picking my calls or replying to any of my texts. He won't talk to you either so I think it's safe to say that he wants nothing to do with me,”

She'd sent him a text though:

‘It sucks to have to say goodbye via text, but I understand why you won't see or speak to me. Thank you for a wonderful time. I’ll always remember it. Good luck with the foundation, and if you’re ever in Langford…’

She could tell he'd read the text, but she'd gotten no reply. Now that she thought about it, she almost wished she'd hadn't sent it. It was a lousy text… And it was her fault that they had to say goodbye that way.

“Can you blame him?” Michelle's voice cut into her thoughts.

Candace stared at her sister. She was right. The truth was that her decision had been made out of fear. Fear of the future —of the unknown. She looked down at her hands clutched in her lap. “I was always going to leave.” She said,

She had paid the price for her cowardice. Her body was disjointed, her mind flitted aimlessly, unable to settle on one thought, and hateful waves of emotion threatened to break at any second. Would she ever feel normal again?

Should she even crave that insipid state? It was so pale in comparison with her wild time with Nolan. She’d never be able to fill her days with enough work, exercise and reading to match the soul-deep contentment she’d found with him. He’d brought her back to life. Not his wealth or his gifts, nor even his enforced adventures. But him. The person. The man who gave everything he had to making a difference. The man who’d given her what she needed. The man who’d shown her she could love again…And she'd been too scared to love him back.

Michelle had fallen quiet and keenly watchful. Candace brightened and plastered a smile on her face, but clearly she wasn’t quick enough. She couldn't blame Nolan for wanting her out of his life, but she knew if she continued to talk about it, she'd break down and she couldn't begin the journey to Rosehill that way. “You take care of yourself, Michelle,” she said and placed a hand on her sister's cheek, “And remember what I said about Nick? Make the right choice this time, hmmm?”

Michelle pulled away, but her eyes were misty too. For the first time in her life she and Candace were in very good terms. They understood each other better. It was the sort of relationship she'd always hoped they could have, and now that they did she was leaving again.

“Maybe you should take your own advice,” she told Candace with a smile, but she didn't need anyone to tell her what the right choice was. Nick's brother, hot and charming as he was, was nothing but bad news. And she needed to talk to Nick, needed to know why he had to lie to her about Emma. Like Nolan, he seemed to be avoiding her too, but he couldn't for long.

She knew that he was embarrassed, especially with the way she'd found out the truth, but that was one of the good things about their relationship, right? They could talk to each other about anything and everything, except this time it felt different.

Candace smiled back at her sister, “Be safe, Michelle” she said as she started the car, “And let me know how it goes with Mom,”