Chapter 46

“I know. I’m asking a lot. A whole lot. All the risk would be on your side and that’s not fair. I’m probably being selfish even bringing it up. I just want you to know the option is there, and that nothing would make me happier than if you agreed to stay.”

He kissed her, and she responded a little desperately, wishing they could go back to when they were making love and the rest of the world didn’t exist.

“I probably should have waited, but I’m so…excited I guess. Like a kid on Christmas morning with a present he can’t wait to give someone.”

“That’s very sweet.” She hardly knew what she was saying. He’d been working hard behind the scenes to get her to stay. It felt wonderful…and also invasive. Was this how Michelle felt when Candace tried to guide—aka control—her life? She didn’t like it, no matter how wonderful his intentions.

“But now maybe the present is the wrong size. Or you already have one. Or like the racing car I bought my mom when I was seven, maybe it’s not something you want so much as I do.”

She laughed through the growing anxiety. How could she make a decision like this? Pitting a man she loved but barely knew against grandparents she owed her life to. Ditching important plans she had in place on the whim of a too-new emotion? One thing to decide to stay on an extra day or two. But forever?

“Nolan, I really don’t see—”

“Shh.” He covered her mouth with her favorite Mute button—his lips. “Don’t think, don’t worry, don’t feel pressure to decide. Just let the idea settle for a while.”

“But I—Mmph.”

He kissed her again, rolled her under him, kissed her some more, long sensual kisses that blotted out any hope of continuing to reason. But sooner or later she’d need to face up to this decision. She couldn’t keep putting it off by spouting the same arguments for leaving while she’d continued to prolong her stay.

Either way she decided, she’d be choosing happiness, pain and also regret, possibly for the rest of her life.

____________

“Oh, come on, Candace, have a double.” Michelle was already licking her two-scoop turtle sundae frozen custard cone: vanilla custard shot through with gooey thick threads of caramel and hot fudge, mixed with roasted salted pecan pieces. Her sister’s insistence on denying herself pleasure made her insane. “Skip dessert at dinner, it all evens out.”

“Oh, yeah?” Candace turned to the teenager behind the counter at the frozen custard stand, which claimed to be the area’s oldest fast-food restaurant. “I’ll have a double special flavor, too.”

Michelle stopped mid-lick. “You will?”

Holy crapoly. They’d gone through the oh-have-a-double, no-no-I-couldn’t charade for years. Candace had never given in. Sometimes she’d agree to share a sundae, but she always gave up a third of the way into it, boo-hoo, she might put on an entire ounce and a half. Michelle would shrug and inhale the rest herself, annoyed and betrayed. Woman’s code of honor: if you decided to indulge in something bad for you with a friend, you had a solemn responsibility to hang in there to the bitter end.

Today Candace had barely hesitated before giving in. “Wow, what’s gotten into my big sister?”

She shrugged, as if changing a lifetime habit overnight was no big deal, “I just felt like it.”

“So…?”

“So what?” She accepted her cone, paid for hers and Michelle’s.

“So what is different? You’re eating more, looking absurdly happy, humming nonstop, gazing starry-eyed at nothing, gee, let me guess.” She tapped a finger against her cheek. “Tonsilitis?”

“Hmph.” Candace grabbed a few napkins, which Michelle always forgot to do, and they went outside to lean against Candace’s car and enjoy the evening air with their million calories.

“So?”

“Michelle, if you have a question, ask me.” She sounded severe, but couldn’t stop smiling long enough to be convincing.

Michelle was delighted. Envious, but delighted. The Ice Princess had fallen. “You’re finally in love.”

“Finally?” She made an I-don’t-think-so face. “Come on. I’ve been in love before.”

“Nuh-uh.” Michelle caught a drip on her tongue. “Not like this.”

“It’s the infatuation,” Candace explained patiently, as if she was some kind of expert. “Love takes time to emerge from it. I’ve known Nolan what, a week? Not even?”

“It doesn’t take time when it’s right.”

Candace, predictably, made a face. “Look who’s talking. You’ve fallen ‘in love’ a million times, usually in the first three minutes knowing a guy, and every time you’re sure it’s ‘right.’”

Michelle shook her head. She’d done a lot of thinking in the past few days. A lot. “No, I’ve never been sure.”

Candace deflated midrant. “What do you mean? You always say you are. You even had yourself half-engaged to Nolan.”

“I know, I know. But deep down? Really deep? I knew they weren’t right. I’ve been thinking about this constantly, Candace, after Nick brought it up. It makes so much sense. I go for deliberately inappropriate men to keep from having to be serious about any of them. You do it, too.”

Candace started to make her protest noises, the kind she made when she needed to waste time faking outrage while thinking of a comeback. Then, incredibly, she stopped and sighed deeply. “Okay. Maybe.”

Michelle nearly choked on her bite. Maybe? This was serious progress.

“If you understand that about yourself, why are you still planning to move to Rosehill?”

“I agree that I’ve have dated men in the past who couldn’t touch me. But Nolan isn’t one of them. I’m not moving out of fear. It’s just…bad timing.”

“It’s miraculous timing. It’s meant-to-be timing. You weren’t even supposed to come up here. How many men like him do you think you’ll meet in your life?”

“Oh, and you’re an expert because…”

“Not because of him. Because of you, how you’re acting. I’ve never seen you like this. You’re smiling—”

“I smile a lot.”

“—you’re happy—”

“I’ve been happy plenty.”

“—you’re eating a double cone.”

“Oh, that’s concrete proof. How’s this?” She held up her custard like a beacon, which Michelle loved because Candace was down over one scoop already, and was on course to finish her entire double without a single panic over calories. “I swear by the sacred double cone that I’m not afraid of love.”

Michelle chuckled. Her sister was positively giddy. “Then stay and enjoy it.”

“I can’t.” She lowered the cone, smile drooping. “I can’t change my life based on a few wonderful days.”

“A week. And why not?”

“All my plans. My future. Gran and Grandad—” “