Chapter 183

Lexi leaned her full weight against the door the moment she heard Tyler start his car. That had to be the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life. But he’d survive—better off for not having her to deal with.

“I never realized what it must have been like for you.”

Lexi froze at the sound of her father's voice. Tyler's vehicle raced away with a roar of the engine and she felt dizzy from not being able to breathe. Why wouldn’t they all leave her alone?

“It was really hard for you too. Losing your mother like that. I was so caught up in my grief that I didn't really pay much attention to you. Instead I carved your life out for you… In a way I thought was right, because I thought I was protecting you. I’m so sorry.”

“I survived.” Her hand hurt where it grasped the knob but she couldn’t let go. She’d fall if she did. “If you taught me nothing else, it was how to survive.”

“Is that why you’re doing this? Is that why you’re shoving a good man away?”

Wasn't it ironic that these words were coming from her father? The same man who'd rejected Tyler in the beginning. But it didn't matter. Tyler was better off without her. “It’s for the best.” She said.

“The best thing to do would be to call him up and ask him to come back. Alexia, don’t lose someone you care about because you’re focusing on things that aren’t important.”

Aren’t important? Lexi released the knob and walked across the floor, pausing by the entry. “Why did you stay quiet?” She shifted her gaze to her father. “Tonight when you saw me, why did you help me leave the hospital without making a fuss?”

Paul scratched his beard, “Because I’ve felt that emptiness inside,” he whispered. “I guess I figured you’d had enough drama for the night. It’s also about time I try to make you proud of me and be there for you in ways that I never was.”

Lexi's heart constricted. She retraced her steps and stood in front of her dad, letting him  pull her into a hug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, pumpkin.”

She inhaled deeply, tired and achy and hurting in places that time couldn’t fix. “I need to lie down,”

Without a word, Lexi found herself ushered into the bedroom, into bed.

“I love you, dad.”

“Oh, dear.” Paul stroked his daughter's hair. “I love you, too.”

__________

“You left? Are you serious?”

Lily's anger traveled the miles separating them.

“Lexi wants a divorce.”

“She’s reeling from a miscarriage. Hello? She wouldn’t be Lexi if she collapsed into your arms and begged you never to leave, now would she?”

“She told me to go back to Olkfield.”

“And what did you say?”

“Nothing. I left.”

“You love her, don't you? You want to be with her?”

“Yeah.”

“Then go to her. I know it sounds messed up and juvenile and maybe it is, but everybody has their hang-ups, including Lexi. This is one of hers, okay? I can’t spell it out more clearly to you. You have to prove to her she can count on you.”

“I’ve told her that.”

“And then you walked out. You can’t tell someone they can trust you, you have to show them.”

Tyler closed his eyes. “Dammit.”

“Oh, Tyler. You know she's had doubts about your marriage all along. Now you just wiped out any progress you made with her by not sticking around,”

Dammit!

Lily released a soul-deep sigh. “Think about it. Do you think, really think, if she didn’t want you there, she’d have ever agreed to marry you? She might not have had much experience with kids but, come on, she kicks butt at everything she does. She always has because she’s such a perfectionist. It’s all or nothing with her, but she could’ve hired a lawyer and fought to raise the baby on her own.”

Tyler pulled to the side of the road and stopped, shoving the rented vehicle into Park and letting the motor idle. “Lily, she only slept with me because she was running away from marrying your brother. We developed feelings for each other but I don't think she ever really wanted to marry me.”

“I know. But I’ll tell you what I told her when I found out that she was pregnant. She chose you. Do you really think that doesn’t mean something? In the time you’ve been more than friends, haven’t you connected at all? I got the impression you had from the way Lexi talked.”

He thought of them sexually first, her need to control their lovemaking since they got married, her favorite position of power. But then he thought of the way she had come to Olkfield to see him. The way she’d curled her arms around him and let him make love to her for a change.

Her protective walls had started to come down, meaning she was starting to trust him. Believe in their marriage. She loved him. And was running scared, afraid to believe that without the baby he would still want to be married.

And he’d proved her right by leaving.

Tyler hit the steering wheel with his palm. Why did women have to make things so complicated? Why not say what they meant? “What do I do?”

How embarrassing was it to have to ask Lily for advice? But if anyone had any gems of hope, Lily was it.

“Well…things happened kind of fast, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So since the baby is gone…” Her voice cracked saying the words. “Maybe you should start over?”

Start over? He stared out the windshield. How could he go about convincing Lexi that he still he wanted their marriage more than anything in the world?

_________

“Glaring at Tyler hasn’t made him go away yet. Come eat some of this soup Lily made.”

A week after the accident, Lexi turned her back to the window and tried to get the sight of Tyler sitting on the porch, looking tired and sad and lonely, out of her mind and off her conscience. She had nothing to feel guilty about. Except for making it clear he isn’t welcome to eat lunch with you.

Sighing, Lexi made her way to the fridge. “I’m not hungry, Dad.”

“You’re losing weight and looking scrawny. And if you don’t take something for those hives, you’re going to turn into a great big one.”

“I’m fine.”

“She keeps saying that like we’re going to believe her.”

Lily simply raised an eyebrow when Lexi turned her glare on her.

“Shouldn’t you be home with your husband?”