Chapter 181

But everything happens for a reason.

Lexi stared down at the polka dots on the gown she wore, tired and angry and sick to her stomach. Did the gowns have to be so ugly? Why wouldn’t they let her leave? She’d already gotten up to go to the bathroom. If she could do that here, she could do that at home.

“Do you have any questions?”

She shook her head. Dr. Clyde had been very thorough. She'd lost the pregnancy but she could still get pregnant in the future.

“We can give you something stronger for the pain. The local anesthesia has worn off.”

“No. I don’t like feeling drugged.”

Dr. Clyde frowned her disapproval. “What about the hives? I understand they’re your normal stress reaction, but maybe some Benadryl would help?”

She shook her head. “I’m used to them.”

Lexi could feel the woman staring at her, trying to judge her state of mind. What did Dr. Clyde want her to say? Did the good doctor want her to freak out?

“Lexi, listen to me. You will be okay. It might not seem like it now, but one day you’ll feel like your old self again.”

She highly doubted that. Truth be told, she hadn’t wanted the baby in the beginning, said it was a mistake how many times? But Tyler had kissed her stomach and named it Gigabyte and she'd really and truly—

“I’m going to do rounds but I want you to have a nurse page me if you need anything. And if you change your mind about the meds, just speak up. I'll leave instructions with them, okay?”

Lexi nodded her head, the pillowcase scratching her bruised cheek. “Will you keep them out?” she asked softly, throat sore from where she’d screamed during the accident. “All of them. Tell them I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I just…need to be alone.”

“I’ll let them know.”

The doctor left and Lexi carefully rolled onto her side, feeling every muscle and bone in her body despite the aftereffects of the medication they’d given her for the procedure. She stared at the wall in the darkened room, the moon high in the sky and visible outside the open blinds.

If everything happened for a reason, then maybe she was obviously not meant to be a mother.

Or a wife.

_________

By the time he arrived, Tyler had accumulated two speeding tickets and had paid a college kid for his standby seat from to Nemford.

Phone calls to Lily had kept him posted. Now he ran through the hospital, took the stairs because the elevator was too slow, and arrived at Lexi's room out of breath and at a complete loss for words. What do you say after something like this?

“Tyler, wait.”

He turned and found Lily and Daniel hurrying toward him from the waiting area. “Who’s in there with her? Her dad?”

They exchanged a look. “She wouldn’t let any of us in,” Lily told him.

Tyler swore. Anger poured through him even though he knew it wasn’t their fault.

“She's been in there all night by herself?”

Lily's face mirrored Tyler's frustration. “Lexi had the doctor post an order to keep us out. She told the doc to tell us she was fine but needed time alone. I snuck in a couple times and she was asleep.”

Tyler's instincts screamed. He stared at the occupants of the waiting room. “Where's her father?”

Lily turned and looked, too. “He was here earlier. Maybe he went for coffee.”

“He could’ve snuck in like we did to check on Lexi,” Daniel added.

Tyler turned and entered the hospital room as quietly as possible, Lily and Daniel on his heels.

The bed was empty.

________

Most miscarriages occurred in the first three months of pregnancy.

Lexi knew the statistics, knew that the doctors thought the three-month time frame was good because at that stage the mother hadn’t felt her baby move. But Lexi had recently passed that three-month mark, the shock had worn off, and it had finally begun to sink in that maybe having a baby wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Wouldn’t have been such a bad thing.

But now not only was her baby gone, the very reason for her marriage was gone as well. The honeymoon was definitely over.

“Lexi? He’s here.”

Her father's voice came from the living room, his words knifing into Lexi's soul. She wasn’t ready to face Tyler, wasn’t ready to see the hurt and pain in his eyes. Her hands stilled on the spatula, the air bubbles in the glob of blueberry muffin batter left in the bottom of the mixing bowl popping in slow motion.

The image of Tyler talking to her stomach over the weekend appeared out of nowhere. Baby Gigabyte. Something so small and fragile but so very important. How could she not have wanted it?

The kitchen door opened.

Lexi stared at Tyler and wished she’d gone to bed like her father had wanted her to. But why bother when she couldn’t sleep? She hadn’t been able to close her eyes since she’d woken up from the procedure. She’d lain awake, staring at the wall, and heard someone enter her hospital room during the night, knew it was Lily and Daniel sneaking in to check on her.

The second time it had happened she’d waited until they were gone, then forced her feet to the floor and opened her hospital-room door, dressed only in the ugly gown and blanket.

The first person she’d seen was her father. Paul had opened his mouth to call out, but Lexi had shaken her head, her expression pleading for silence, for help. And her father did as she wanted. He'd taken a long look at his daughter's face, grabbed her oversize, shiny gold purse, and crept from his chair a slight distance from Lily and Daniel.

He'd reluctantly driven Lexi home, but her father hadn’t left and Lexi hadn’t asked him to.

“Lexi? Thank God.” Tyler crossed the floor in three strides and swept her into his arms. She felt him bury his nose in her neck, the trembling deep inside him breaking through her battered senses.

“Tyler, why don’t you take Lexi in the other room? I’ll finish up here.”

Lexi pulled away and shook her head at her father. “I want to do them. Why don’t you go to bed, dad? You look tired.”

Her father looked to Tyler for guidance, which totally pissed Lexi off. “Dad, it’s okay.”