Chapter 153

She looked as if she expected him to say something, then, but he couldn’t speak. He was frozen solid in disbelief. He couldn’t believe that she was saying all the things he’d long since given up on ever hearing from her.

“Now I’ve seen all these different sides of you,” Lexi continued. “And I love them all. And I am staying in Olkfield, and I don’t give a toss if that doesn’t work for you, because this time your little speech didn’t work. I’m not going to wander off with a smile on my face like all those other girls.

I’m going to stay right here. I’m going to do whatever it takes to prove to you that you can fall in love with me, you really can—”

“It's not real Lexi. It's a byproduct of a good fucking. Just like I said it would happen. You don't love me… You'll find that out in a few weeks after you go back to Nemford,”

“Tyler, please—”

“I'm glad you're not marrying Victor, I must say,” he continued as if she hadn't spoken, “You deserve so much better than him, and me too probably,”

“No—”

“And what does Lord Fuck —I mean your father have to say about this? He choose Victor for you, right? He approved of him, and he wanted this marriage to happen,”

Her voice began to crack, her eyes had gone glossy, and Tyler couldn’t bear it a moment longer, but she didn't lie, “He isn't happy about it, but he will come around eventually. He has to.”

Tyler scoffed, “Yeah I bet he will,” he said sarcastically, “And I doubt he will come around to accept me too. A bum for his precious daughter,”

“Stop it, Tyler!”

“No you stop!” he yelled, then moved closer and towered over her, his jaw tight, his eyes so cold it was all she could do not to shiver, “The truth is that making love to you was a mistake. I've been in love with you since the day I first set my eyes on you, Lexi,”

Her sharp intake of breath as he said the words shouldn't have hit him hard but it did. She really had no idea. His feelings had always been invincible to her, and she was only feeling this way now because of the sex. It wasn't real. He had to remind himself that if he was going to end this cycle, so he went on, “I have spent so many nights dreaming about you. Jealousy ate me alive every time I saw you with another man or listened to you tell me about the latest man in your life.  I could go on being your friend, Lexi. But the thing is, I don’t want to. I don't want to be in your life anymore, especially if there are going to be obstacles in the way.”

It was like he’d punched her in the stomach. She wanted to bend over from the pain, wanted to sob with it.

“And I don’t think you have any goddamn right asking me to do so,” he continued relentlessly. “I am not going to have your father be another obstacle. I'm tired. I can’t keep living my life wanting something I’m never going to have. I love you so much the thought of you leaving these past few weeks scared the shit out of me, and I've had a tough life, but somehow nothing has scared me more. I don't want you or anyone having that sort of power over me. Not anymore. I’m done.” His mouth was a thin line, his shoulders rigid. “We are done.”

He turned from her as if that was it, as if it didn’t matter what she wanted, how she felt.

“That’s it?” she asked, storming after him and into his room while he went into his walk-in closet. Who was this man? How could he treat her this way? He came back, a pair of running shoes in his hands. “How can you abandon everything like this after all these years?”

“Self-preservation.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, the bed that was still unmade, where he’d touched her so gently just last night, he pulled the sneakers on, left them untied. “For once, I’m thinking of myself.”

He stood, grabbed a sweatshirt off the chair under the window. “I’m going for a run. If our friendship meant anything to you at all, you’ll be gone before I get back. Go home, Lexi.”

And he walked out, shutting the door quietly behind him, leaving Lexi standing in his bedroom that smelled of him, feeling as if she’d lost the most precious thing in her life. Wondering if she’d ever be able to get it back.

_______

One week later…

“So are you going to tell me what exactly happened between you and Tyler or are you going to keep me guessing?”

Lexi sighed and avoided her friend's gaze. Lily just wasn't going to let this go. She was heartbroken, humiliated, sad and angry. The last thing she wanted to do was have a conversation about the reason why she was feeling this way. She was back in Nemford, and literally everything felt like shit, but she had to put the incidents of the past weeks behind her if she was going to stay sane.

“I already told you,” she told Lily, “Tyler and I had a fight. I don't think we can ever be friends anymore. End of story,”

“Yeah I agree. Definitely can't be friends anymore after all that sex you had with him.” said Lily carelessly. She didn't even seem to care when Lexi's eyes widened and she glared at her.

“Lily!”

“What? It was enough to end your engagement to my brother. Victor told me everything,”

“Then why do you keep asking me if you already know everything?”

Lily shrugged, “I guess because the gist is usually better when you hear it from the horses mouth,”

Lexi ignored that comment. “How's Victor?” she asked instead. They might have not been in love, but they'd still called off their wedding after he found her in the arms of another man. He wasn’t a bad person, and she genuinely hoped that he was okay.

“He'll live,” said Lily. “I honestly didn't think you both were meant to be together but you both seemed determined to go into the marriage for reasons best known to you and I didn't want to interfere,”

“Yeah sure,” Lexi couldn't help the sarcasm, “You're the queen of interference, Lily,”