Chapter 128

“You think I’m going to fall in love with you if we have sex?” she asked, astonished.

He didn’t laugh. Not exactly. It was all much too intense for that. “I think that if I fuck you properly, there is almost no possibility you won’t fall in love with me.”

“Why aren’t you worried that you’ll fall in love with me?” she demanded. And told herself that was outrage, not panic, that leaped around inside her, then. “Isn’t that just as possible?”

“No chance of that,” he said, and she could have sworn there was something almost sardonic in the way he said it.

She refused to dwell on the little stab of hurt that bloomed inside her then. That panic—that outrage—spurred her on.

“It doesn’t matter if I go head over heels, however unlikely,” she told him hotly. “I’m still engaged.”

“So the worst case scenario is that I teach you what it means to properly fuck.” And there was definitely a sardonic little twist in the corner of his mouth then, though she was too wound up to focus on it. “There will be sobbing, in all likelihood. Begging, almost certainly.”

“I won’t hold it against you,” Lexi said magnanimously.

His green eyes glittered. “I appreciate that. Things may get emotional. Your plan, no matter how emotional things get, is to hop a plane back to Nemford, continue to wave that great bloody ring around the place and marry the man your father personally selected for you. Is that it?”

“You’re the one who just pointed out to me that that’s always been it.” She lifted her chin. “And you’re right. I don’t believe in love, Tyler. I never have. You and Lily seem to think that I’m some great, hidden romantic—”

“Not hidden. You’ve made no secret of it. You read romantic books. You like romantic films.”

“That doesn’t make me a romantic. I like horror films and I’m not a ghoul.”

“You don’t believe that you can have a romance, Lexi,” he said, and he sounded almost tired, then. As if this conversation was costing him something, which made no sense. “Or you’ve decided you won’t. That isn’t quite the same thing as not having a romantic bone in your body.”

“This is ridiculous.” She pushed his hand away from her face then. And the light in his green eyes changed again, but he dropped his hand all the same. “If you don’t want to have sex with me, Tyler, I wish you would just say so. All this poncing about, grimly talking about doors that can’t be closed and emotional states that will be forever disrupted. I’m talking about having sex. You either want that or you don’t. And I won’t hate you if you don’t.” She made herself smile. “Too much.”

And the strangest expression moved over his face then. She couldn’t read it. Still, she found herself holding her breath, and felt something almost like loss when he ended up somewhere…wry.

“Risk assessments are a part of what I do for a living,” he told her, sounding…careful. “The part you don’t like to talk about, as it’s so hard for you to imagine me ordering people about. Isn’t that what you said?”

“I find it a lot less hard to imagine after tonight.”

“You don’t think you’ll fall in love with me,” he said, and surely there was no reason for her heart to turn over at that. “That’s fair enough. I won’t patronize you and tell you, again, that I don’t think you quite know what you’re talking about.”

“Even if I don’t, does it matter? It’s obvious in the way you’re talking about this that you’ve had it happen before. But it’s obviously not real love, or the lady in question would still be here. That means it’s a sexual hangover, or some such. Don’t worry, Tyler. You’re safe. I can handle myself.” She smiled at him, and this time, she didn’t have to force it. “I’m not going to relocate to Olkfield, start stalking you and scale your wall to boil bunnies on your stove. I’m getting married next spring. And Victor might not be in love with me, nor I with him. But I don’t think either one of us is interested in the kind of scandal that would ensue if I was arrested in Olkfield for harassing an old friend. This is about as low risk as possible to get.”

He only stared at her. She sighed.

“I promise,” she said.

“Right.”

And again, she watched him change. There was a flash of the Tyler she knew, almost rueful. Then that intent Tyler again, edgy and dangerous. And breathtaking. He shifted, turning her around so her back was to the rail. And his hands moved to either side of her so he was caging her there, then angling himself toward her.

“What kind of protection do you prefer?” he asked, blandly, as her whole body ignited.

“Uh… You mean…?”

“Yes, I mean. Do you have a latex allergy? Are you on the pill? Do you prefer the ease and convenience of a coil?”

She was a grown woman. An adult in all ways. And yet the clinical frankness of those questions made her blush. “I do not have a latex allergy,” she managed to say, perhaps more primly than necessary. “And as a matter of fact, I am on the pill. Thank you for asking.”

His green eyes gleamed, and this time, she was absolutely certain that it was, in fact, amusement. But she couldn’t tell if that was better or worse.

“When were you last tested?” And his head was lowered close to hers, but all he did was smirk. “Or do you not bother with such things, because you’re Lady Lexi, impervious to love, married off for a fortune and unlikely to ever choose the sort of disreputable man who might dare approach you anything less than squeaky clean?”

“For the record, this is the most unsexy and grossly disturbing conversation I’ve ever had when someone wants to get me naked.”

“I find that hard to believe, given the wanker contingent you’ve allowed in your bed.”

“I get tested once a year as a part of my annual physical,” she said loftily. “But then again, I don’t throw it about like some.”

“I’m never unsafe,” he told her. “In terms of protection, that is. But I get tested every couple of months, because I like to be both promiscuous and sure.”