Chapter 13 SLOANE
Chapter 13
SLOANE
I walked to the dance floor and there he was, fighting back that knowing beautiful smile. “I take it you still remember this dance?” He muffled.
I bit my lower lip, hiding the smile because I remember every step of this dance. I remember how ridiculous he used to look when doing the twirl because he was shy. I remember how I had to teach him when to take the left leg and then the right. I remember how he’d fall to the floor to laugh so hard because I’d cuss so loudly when I missed a dance step.
I remember him panting and sweating and I remember the day we finally got the dance steps and how much we had fun in my mum’s yard dancing to the song because I was worried Jasper would find out I loved those kinds of songs.
“And you? You’re all old now, what if you break a bone or something?” I teased, holding back the urge to laugh.
He laughed, he actually laughed. It’s been a while since I heard that beautiful sound. “Old? Sloane, don’t insult me please and I bet I can dance more than you.”
“You wish.” I rolled my eyes, moving my body as the music was slowly approaching the best part, the part we always danced to. We were the only ones dancing, everyone turned the dance floor into their personal dance floor. Everyone is going crazy because this song is literally epic.
I still don’t get why Jasper hates it so much.
“Peach, I danced to this song every weekend for the last five years, there is no way I’d forget these steps,” he said, shaking his head. And just like that, this man just indirectly told me, he had thought about me for the five years we were apart. And there I was staring at him, speechless, eyes glued on him as everything just blurred out, leaving him only in my sight.
“Come on, it’s our turn.” he chimed, taking my hands as he led me to the dance floor. Daisy and Rave hyped me out of my thoughts, rocking their fingers and sending winks.
And then the best part of the song came and and just like that, my body remembered every step. Together we danced, moved, and laughed. And memories rushed in. The way he’d guide my body to the rhythm because as much as I am a good dancer, he is an excellent dancer. The way our eyes would lock, the way he’d pull away, so he doesn't cross a line because I was still very much underage. The way he’d mock me and comfort me if I made an obvious mistake I was too excited.
With Xaden, I was always myself and happy. And dancing again with him tonight reminded me so much. The end of the song came slowly. The part where his hands rest on my waist and when I slowly surrender to him and lean completely on him.
I could feel the heat. The rapid beating of his heart. The way his fingers linger on every inch of my skin. The way his finger dragged through my silk dress.
The little giggle that echoed in my ear. Oh, I miss his scent so much.
God help me.
A new song came bursting through the speakers and Kyle joined us, Daisy did, Rave came in and soon it turned into a dance floor of professional dancers. It was the best party I have attended in years. In that moment, I forgot the anger I had for him, the worry that Jasper would rip me to shreds if he found out. It was a night of fun with my friends and the man I am obsessed with.
The party ended past 2 in the morning. Isaac’s mum refused to let us go. Not after Xaden gifted his friend this black G wagon, which left Kyle speechless and jaw-dropped. I was just as stunned… well not completely.
That’s the kind of person Xaden Xaden was. He quiet listener. A man who listens but takes note. You whisper your want around him and he moves heaven and heart to give it to you. The necklace in my purse is evidence.
So when he brought out the car and gave it to Kyle, I just knew he hadn’t changed much.
Isaac’s mum gave us a spare room. Daisy, Rave, and I shared a room. I could barely sleep a wink. I was high on dopamine. It’s been so long since I felt this good, this alive…. This is understood and loved by people that’s not Jasper or my mum.
“Can’t sleep?” I heard Xaden’s voice behind me. I turned, turning my hair behind my ear.
His eyes were just as bright as mine, almost like he felt alive like me. He sat next to me by the pool, “Coffee?” he offered the one in his hands.
“Isn’t that yours?” I asked.
“So? You don’t want it?”
I reached for it, taking it from him and he chuckled.
“I can’t believe you remember the dance.” he muffled.
I scoffed, “Why not? It was my idea to learn the dance, remember?”
“I know that. It’s just, with this naive side you’ve been showing lately, it was hard to picture you as the wild Sloane I know.” He shrugged.
I turned to him, jaw leaning on my shoulder, “Whatever.” I tasked.
Silence.
We both didn't say anything. I just looked up at the night sky while he sat next to me. If I am being honest. I miss this side of me. Being free. Wearing clothes I want, taking drinks I like. Moving with people who don’t force their likes on me and accept my likes without criticizing me. I miss being this alive.
Xaden was my horse.
From the day he caught me by the lake, swearing at his brother, Xaden had been at my corner. Becoming that safe place where I could swear all I want, dance all I want, laugh and cry when things go my way or not. I miss the way he’d laugh when I cuss like that was his favorite sound.
I miss sneaking around with him even though my mum knew, it still felt great sneaking around with him.
I know he left me, and maybe Rave was right, maybe he had a reason but don’t I deserve to know why I.. lost him that night?
“Muffin?” I finally called him, the name that randomly popped in my mouth one evening, years ago, and has remained the way I call him ever since. It started as a joke, a very harmless joke and it just stuck. He looked nothing like a muffin… well, that’s a lie, when his hair is all wet and he is smiling with his full lips, he looks exactly like a muffin. He doesn't like the name but he never fails to answer to it.
I felt him flinch, and when I turned to look at him, his eyes were wide open. Shock and confusion spread on his face, like he didn't believe I could have called him that after all these years.
“Hm.” he muffled.
“If I ask why you left, that day… if I asked why you left and never turned back, would you tell me?” My voice broke.
I looked at him deeply, fingers crossed, hoping he would open his heart and tell me.
“I didn't just lose my first love that night…. You were my safe space. My best friend…. Because you truly knew me and accepted me so… Why did you leave? Why did you leave me?”