Chapter 20

I knocked on the door, aware of every painful beat of my heart, but no one answered, making me knock harder.

"I know you're there," I shouted into the silence on the other side of the door, casting a glance at the empty hallway, remembering the motorcycle in the small parking lot in front of the building. "Open..." I stopped speaking when I tested the doorknob and the door opened, my head pounding as I stepped into the apartment.

My gaze was caught by the boy sitting in the armchair of the dimly lit living room. Matias was shirtless, holding a beer bottle, his penetrating eyes staring at me as if he couldn’t believe I was there.

I stopped in the middle of the room, noticing the several empty bottles on the coffee table and the strong smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and sweat. Matias had messy hair, and exhaustion marked his beautiful face. The pain in my chest was tearing me apart, almost agonizing. I could turn around and never face him again, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. So, I stood there, consumed by anger and resentment.

"I said we wouldn’t have a last time."

Matias took a swig from the beer and ran his tongue across his lips before an incredulous smile took over.

"I told myself you wouldn’t come," he began, looking at me as if he were going to devour me. "Not after I messed up your special little boy’s face," he mocked, tensing his jaw. "But then you show up with only two minutes to midnight," he criticized, letting the bottle fall on the soft carpet to grab another from the table.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, remembering Shin bleeding on the floor and then sleeping in my arms. My attention once again swept over the chaos in the room, to the destroyed phone near the window and his rigid, intoxicated body. All of this because he thought I wouldn’t come.

"You fucking bastard," he muttered, turning the beer.

"I told you not to do that," I scolded, biting my lower lip. "I almost begged you not to choose him, but still, you..." I stopped, feeling my stomach churn.

"And why would I stop?" he asked harshly. "Even if you had knelt for me, I would have chosen him," he teased, provoking me.

"He doesn’t..."

"Have anything to do with it?" he finished, standing up and stealing my words. "Then why did you attack Kaleo?" he questioned, tightening the bottle.

I just watched the anger flicker in his tired eyes.

"You hurt him out of jealousy and decided that I’m yours."

"You are mine," I assured, trapped in his gaze, feeling my skin heat up.

"Okay," he said with a sideways grin. "From today, I’m yours, Ryuuji," he agreed, sending a vibration through my body, stealing every beat of my heart.

I took a deep breath as he slowly approached, closing the small gap between us.

"So from this night, you’re mine too, and just like you, I hate sharing," he shot, studying my face. "Now, you better watch out. If you hurt me or try to break my heart, I’ll do much worse than just ruin his perfect nose," he declared, not losing his wicked smile.

"Don’t threaten me," I warned, ignoring his addictive scent invading my senses.

"Never provoke me again."

Matias walked to the bedroom, leaving me alone with the frantic beats of my heart and his hoarse voice marking my skin.

***

I woke up to the sounds of cars, opened my eyes not recognizing where I was. My house was far from the city, but a quick look around made flashes of last night come back. I sighed, leaning back on the soft sofa, when I noticed that all the bottles and the stench had disappeared. Everything was clean and organized.

I ran my fingers through my hair, feeling destroyed, before getting off the sofa in search of a shower and the apartment's owner. I checked my phone, the clock read 5 a.m., but there was already some movement in the streets.

When I entered the dark bedroom, I noticed Matias lying under the covers. I went to the bathroom with quiet steps and turned on the yellow light over the sink. I ended up using the only toothbrush and ran my wet fingers through my messy hair. Before closing the door to take a shower, my attention went back to the boy lying on his back, and before I knew it, I was standing beside him.

I climbed onto the bed, pulling his black sheets away to reveal his white shirt and sweatpants. I buried my fingers in his hair and kissed his neck slowly.

"Wake up," I whispered in his ear, feeling the scent of soap and perfume on his skin.

Matias opened his eyes and lay back. He moved so fast that I doubted he was actually sleeping. I kissed his chin and then his soft lips, breathing deeply as his hands touched my back while his mouth matched my intense kiss.

I interrupted the delicious kiss to remove our shirts. Matias let out a low moan when I sucked his hard nipple. It felt good to feel him squirming beneath me, craving my touch. I lowered my mouth across his body, memorizing every muscle, getting lost in his irregular breathing and small moans of pleasure as I approached the hard bulge beneath his sweatpants. I didn’t hesitate to lower the waistband of his pants and grab him.

He gasped when I sucked him, taking him all the way in. A wave of satisfaction consumed me as I heard his moan grow louder and saw him throw his head back, bathed in pleasure. Matias was coming undone on the mattress because of me, just me, and before he could climax in my mouth, I pulled away.

"You said you wanted me to come in your mouth, why did you stop?" he asked, breathless.

"Not today," I replied, getting rid of the remnants of our clothes. Before his brown eyes that shimmered with the golden light coming from the bathroom, I grabbed a condom and easily put it on. He didn’t protest when I turned him, making him kneel on the mattress.

"You don't want to look me in the eyes either," he pointed out while I used the lubricant.

I analyzed his broad back, his inviting neck, and his beautiful round ass. My body vibrated as I entered him, and Matias arched his shoulders, pressing his forehead against the mattress.

"Say something," he demanded, and I began to move.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked with difficulty, gripping his hips as I felt him squeeze me deeper.

"You're the one who likes to talk while fucking," he retorted, groaning, stealing a smile from me involuntarily.

I leaned in, running my tongue along his back, tasting him and making him more relaxed. I moved my hips, fitting perfectly inside him, and groaned against his skin as I quickened my thrusts.

"And you don't like it," I said after a few long seconds, my mind lost in his body.

"Are you still mad?" he murmured, gripping the sheet tightly, trying to suppress his moans.

I kissed his neck, feeling the soft strands of his hair tickling my face, inhaling his scent, listening to the sound of our bodies moving together.

"I am," I replied, making him writhe beneath me. "Stay still," I ordered as I felt him pull away slightly. I grabbed his hips, thrusting into him hard. "Fuck!" we groaned together.

I felt like I was about to explode, gripping his skin and keeping the thrusts strong, hitting the exact spot that made him tremble completely.

"Why?" Matias tried, his forehead still against the mattress and arms stretched out. That position gave me a good view of his back. "Then why are we doing this?" he demanded, but a hoarse moan escaped his lips as I followed his throbbing cock.

"Because even though I hate you..." My voice faltered for a moment as I felt him come in my hand. "I still want to touch you and kiss you, I want to fuck you until I can't breathe anymore," I whispered against his neck, feeling the orgasm take over me and my body collapse onto his.

Gasping and still drunk on pleasure, I lay on the bed next to him.

"Look at me," Matias ordered, breathing heavily, but I kept staring at the ceiling, feeling his scent on me and the sensation of his sweaty skin against mine.

"Ryuuji," he called, turning my face, forcing me to meet his gaze.

My heart skipped when I realized his face was so close to mine. I lowered my gaze to his slightly parted lips before returning to his intense eyes, filled with secrets.

"Without Hebi, without Lily, just you and me," he reminded me, pulling his hand away. "You started this, you can't turn back." And he sat on the bed, running his fingers through his unruly hair.

"I won't," I replied, staring at his back.

"Then get over what happened," he demanded, leaving the bed and creating a huge emptiness.