Chapter 156: A constant fear

Currently, she sat alone on a sofa near the glass wall, staring at the rain. The sky, the grass,

and the garden all looked refreshed as if the atmosphere was waiting for nature to bring

man back to breathe. Similar to the man in the desert waiting for a drop of water.

Similar to that man, these trees and flowers, she too was waiting for her rain. Her freedom.

She never told anyone how much she desired to breathe freely without constant fear.

But she knew it was illegal to think like that. She belonged to Shehryaar only and

completely.

These thoughts alone were enough to stifle her desire for freedom, to push it back inside

her.

Suddenly, the telephone placed near her began to ring. She looked around, but nobody was

there to attend the phone. At first, she decided to let it ring because she thought she didn’t

have the permission to answer a random person's phone just like that. She ignored it, and

after a short time, the bell died down, but soon enough, it began to ring again. Her heart

raced in sync with the ringing, each chime a reminder of her constraints. She tried ignoring

it, but when the phone kept ringing, she at last decided to answer it.

Fixing the receiver of the phone to her ear, she spoke, "Hello."

Silence.

Utter silence was what she encountered.

Nobody answered.

"Hello. Who is there?" she asked again in her meek voice.

All she got was silence.

"Hello?" She looked at the telephone and was aware that the line was on and somebody was

listening from the other side. She could hear someone breathing steadily.

She said ‘hello’ again, but didn’t get any response, so she hung up the phone.

A few days passed, and once again she was alone in the lounge, staring at the sky. She had

fallen in love with the sky since she had been released. It would make her realize that she at

least had that bare minimum freedom, which was seized from her. Again, it had been days

since she last encountered Shehryaar. Because whenever he would be in the haveli, she

would hide in the safety of her room and rarely come out, fearful of encountering him. And

when he would be in front of her, she would just shiver and would not be able to do

anything properly or attentively, as all her concentration would be on him. Her hands would

start trembling, her thoughts all scattered.

Suddenly, the phone rang, snapping her back to the present. She attended to it, and this time

again, nobody spoke. She kept on saying ‘hello’ in her low voice, yet nobody answered, but

she was able to hear light breathing from the other side of the phone. A strange uneasiness

prickled her.

She was getting tense now.

"Hello?"

"Recognize me?" the person at last said, voice barely over a whisper, stealing her breath.

"Who are you?" Her hands trembled as she held the receiver, and the room suddenly felt

colder, smaller.

"Sheharzaad."

"How... how... d-d-d-do you know my name?"

Shehryaar ran through the back of her mind as her hand that held the receiver began to

shiver.

As soon as she heard footsteps nearing the lounge, she quickly hung up the call and sat

down. Sweat drops formed on her forehead as she gulped, her throat bobbing up.

She felt scared yet couldn’t pinpoint the reason.

She wasn’t at fault. That person had called her. But she felt as if she did something illegal.

In front of her appeared Asma, Haseeb's mother. For some reason, Asma appeared cool and

friendly towards others, but her demeanor seemed off towards Sheharzaad. Though she

was sweet to Zahra and others, she was not to her. Giving her a cursory glance, she walked

away, and it was then she released a breath.

She didn’t see me talking on the phone...

She was relieved.

She barely released a breath of relief when evening began to fall, and her anxiety started

kicking in. She had begun to despise evenings.

It was the time when she would mostly feel alone, and the memories of the cell would click

her. With the urge to dissipate the anxiety, she stood up and walked toward Haider's room

and found his hands raised for dua’a as he was praying.

And she heard it.

She realized how much he loved Shehryaar. He was his favorite child. Because he prayed for

him more than any of his other children. Asking for his hidayah. Asking for the forgiveness

of his sins.

But it made her wonder, would God actually forgive Shehryaar?

She stood there at the doorframe when Haider noticed her and welcomed her to come

inside. He finished his prayers, folded the mat, placed it aside, and asked about her health

and well-being.

It was then that they got engaged in a conversation that always served as an escape for

Sheharzaad from her deadly thoughts. He was basically telling her a story when he once

encountered a jinn decades back, while Sheharzaad listened to him keenly. She hung onto

his every word, wanting to delve into the story to drift the sadness inside her for a while. In

his presence, the worry that always gnawed at her faded. For a moment, she imagined a

gentler side of Shehryaar – a side that perhaps mirrored his father’s warmth. Did such a side

ever exist? But as far as she remembered, he seemed like a wise person when she first met

him at his office. But then, what sin did she commit that led her to this pit of torment? Did

such a side ever exist? She wondered if she would ever see it. The thought made her feel

strange, as though the line between longing for freedom and her longing for something

more from Shehryaar were blurring in a way she had never expected.

They were in the middle of the story as she sat on the sofa beside the bed, and he lay on the

bed with a comforter covering his legs as his back rested on the headrest, when the door to

his room knocked, disrupting his story. Both of them moved their heads toward the door.

Shehryaar...