Chapter 104: Past

He didn't know where it all began. He couldn't figure out the start of it. It felt as if she had

always been in his life, as if he had been struggling his whole life just to make her his.

Completely his. She became the mission of his life, and he was caught in that web without

even realizing it. His mind had been entirely captured by her. She was near but very far at

the same time. Her presence enticed his soul. Her eyes did something to him. He liked her.

And he wanted to have complete control over her. One thing he was certain about was that

he could never let her go. Never.

The hold on the box with the ring began to tighten as the puzzle slightly began to solve in

his mind.

She is nothing but an infatuation, Shehryaar. She will be out of your mind after marriage.

The demons whispered in his mind, and he believed them for the sake of his own peace.

Suddenly, her eyes flashed in his mind again, and he threw the ring box against the floor,

breathing heavily, clenching and unclenching his jaw.

The day he laid eyes on her, he thought one fling would make her grey eyes leave his mind.

But they didn’t. Instead, they began to appear more and more before his sight.

He was losing control over himself.

His sanity. It was slowly slipping away.

And with that half-insane mind, he determined to make sure that after marriage, this weird

infatuation with her would be over, and if it didn’t, then he was going to make her

understand what it meant to be the wife of Shehryaar Haider Syed.

He would be nothing like his father.

He would never give her the same freedom that his father gave to that woman who bore

him.

He would never go soft. Never be vulnerable in front of her. Never love her. Never.

The boundaries he would draw around her would keep her encaged until he desired

otherwise. He would make sure that even the thought of another man wouldn’t cross her

mind.

He would control her—in all senses. Even her mind. Captivate her—in all senses. Even her

soul.

He wouldn’t end up like his father.

He would never fall in love. He would never repeat the mistake

He tried to focus again, but her complaining grey eyes came before him again. He harshly

closed his laptop’s lid and began to rub his fingers over his temples. It was getting out of

hands. No matter how much he tried, she was on his mind around the clock.

He was as helpless as she was.

His eyes closed, thick lashes shadowing his cheekbones, and a particular scene began to

play in his mind.

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FLASHBACK

Shabbir Haider Syed, Shehryaar's grandfather, had gone hunting with some friends and

both of his sons in the jungle. The haveli was empty. The servants were sent back to the

servants’ quarters as there was no work to do. The children were at school. Only Shehryaar

and his mother were home. He had taken leave from school today. In his room, he was busy

playing his favorite video game when he saw the back door of the haveli opening through

the window.

He wondered who it could be.

The same man he had seen numerous times at the haveli whenever it was quiet appeared in

his view again. He saw his mother leading him inside, eyes cautious, looking left and right.

Whenever he saw that man, sounds of grunts came into his ears. When that man would

come, he would stand behind his mother's door and listen closely to the noises coming from

inside. His naive mind would always wonder what was happening behind those closed

doors. He never told anyone, as his mother had requested him to keep it a secret. And he

never refused his mother's requests.

He continued playing his game when his curiosity peaked.

Getting up from his chair, he walked down to the kitchen, which was closest to the back

door of the haveli. The door was slightly open, and he peeked through the gap.

The man had wrapped his arms around his mother as they both looked into each other’s

eyes. The man leaned down and kissed his mother on the lips. Slowly, his mother leaned in

and kissed him back.

He didn’t know whether it was right or wrong, but his sixth sense told him something

wrong was happening. Very wrong.

"I love you, Jaha Ara."

"I love you too,"his mother replied, placing her face against his chest.

"This love will destroy us, Umer. Me, you, Haider, if they come to know,"Jaha Ara whispered.

"Love made us do crazy things. I now realize it, Jaha Ara."

"What if they came to know... that he... he is,"she began, trailing off.

"Don’t say this. Even walls have ears. They can get to know about our extra-marital affair

but not this, Jaha Ara,"Umer said, holding her arms and pulling her away from him.

"Till my last breath, this secret will go with me to my grave,"she said solemnly."Last night,

Haider told me he loved me. He is really nice to me. He fulfills all my whims. I don’t feel good

about him. I can see love for me in his eyes."

"You’re standing here, in this compromised state, just because of him,"Umer reminded her.

Her expression hardened."I know. He does not deserve me. It happened all because of him.

He, his damned father."

Shehryaar, who stood there, felt his heart wrench as he heard his mother talk so rudely

about his father and grandfather. He had always seen his father shower his mother with

love; why was she speaking of him like that?

He tried to listen carefully and piece things together when he saw the horrendous scene

unfold.

His mother, in the arms of that man. Both of them slightly undressed.