Silent Prayers
Her shivering lips parted as she tried to produce a response of which she herself was
unaware. She was clueless what her tongue would say; anxious to her wits.
A yes?
Or a no?
His eyes narrowing as they bore into her.
Her lower jaw shivered as she struggled to speak.
He knew she was going breathless as he waited for her answer. The silence stretched
between them, heavy and suffocating. His expression didn’t change, not even a flicker.
‘‘N-namaz... namaz parhni hai.’’ This was her answer. An answer which traveled all the way
from her heart to her tongue.
(I want to pray)
“U-uss k b-b-b-aad apko jawab... jawab d-dunh gi,” she suddenly stopped, realizing her
mistake that she put forth a condition in front of him, afraid that she might have to face the
similar agony once again. Her eyes quickly moved up at him as she vigorously shook her
head in the negative, “woh... woh...” she whimpered, “mera... mtlb... nhi... mera... woh... mtlb
nhi tha.” With a breath struck in her throat, she uttered with difficulty.
(After then I will answer you)
(I-I)
(I didn't mean that)
He pressed a finger against her trembling lips to silence her. Her eyes fluttered shut for a
moment, and when they opened, they were pleading.
“If you allow... c-can I p-pray?” she said in a small voice as she peeked up at him through her
lashes.
He didn’t respond. Instead, he moved his thumb along the edge of her brow, tracing it with
slow deliberation. She flinched, her breath catching in her throat, and quickly averted her
gaze. His touch lingered for a moment before he abruptly stood up and walked away
without saying anything, leaving her alone again with so much fear in her whole soul, her
gaze frozen to the door.
He just left, shutting the door firmly behind him. She hugged herself, trying to quell the
rising panic, her chest tightening with fear.
Fear that did she say anything wrong?
Is he pissed?
She was now getting pale.
.....
One step.
Then another step.
Then another.
The slow steps paced towards the door of the cell. Her eyes fixed on the heavy metallic door
which was open, but this time, it wasn't open for anyone but her. She didn't dare move her
eyes from the door, thinking even if she blinked the door would fade away. Or she would
wake up from her dream. So she kept on walking towards it.
Both her legs were shivering from up and down as she was putting pressure on them and
walking after a long time. She thought she had forgotten to walk.
The only walk she was allowed was to the bathroom, where she was not given much time to
stay. And in that minimal time, she would try finishing her morning ablutions and other
stuff as quickly as possible. Just like a jail, the days and the time of her showering were
destined. She had been given clothes that belonged to the prisoners. Her wrists had red
marks around them, and at places the skin was split, and so were her ankles. She
remembered the day when those chains had adorned her wrists and feet and now, she was
hoping his mind wouldn't change and he wouldn't restrict her to binds again. A shudder
coursed through her as the memories clawed their way back into her mind.
A tear fell from her.
She couldn’t believe it.
Her heart swelled. Beat rapidly. Her eyes twinkled. She smiled.
Her smile broadened more and more when the scene didn’t fade away, when she realized it
was the truth. She was at last standing outside the cell.
At last...
She had dreamt of this day. She had been so desperate, so eager to have a little view of the
world outside that door. She used to wonder how lucky were those people who could
wander around so easily, without any restrictions.
They didn’t know how lucky they were. They should ask her. They should smile whenever
seeing the sky, sun, and the birds. The greenery and colors of nature around them. She had
experienced all disabilities a human could have in that cell. From being visually impaired to
a deaf and dumb, a person who was mentally disabled to an immobile person. She went
through this all. All alone.
Her eyes that were prior fixed on the door, like that of a thirsty man with a parched throat
and zero strength crawling towards cold water, now landed on her feet. Her legs were
barely able to hold her weight as she was putting pressure on her legs after a long time. She
looked at her feet and took a shaky step forward, her legs feeling foreign as she placed one
foot in front of the other. Her breath hitched as she whispered, "Please… let this be real.”
She looked at the corridor where she stood. The long, dark, dimly lit corridor. A tear
escaped through her eye. Her vision cursorily moved back and landed on the cell and that
mattress where she spent her days and nights. Horror-filled memories entered her mind
and she quickly averted her gaze, wanting to run away as far and as fast as she could.
Was this real? Was she actually being let out?
"Ma'am, let’s go," a firm voice said.
She turned to see a woman standing by the door, flanked by two guards. The woman’s tone
was authoritative. She ordered them to unchain her.
She hesitated, her voice faltering as she asked, "Where... where are you taking me?"
Sheharzaad’s gaze flicked to the chains on the ground, recently unlocked from her wrists
and ankles. The red marks were still fresh. "You’re to be escorted," she said, "Orders are to
take you somewhere."
Sheharzaad slightly tilted her head towards her and then gave a nod as the woman began to
lead her, and she walked behind her.
For the first time in what felt like forever, she allowed herself a tiny, cautious smile.