Chapter 34: CHAPTER 34

In the peaceful silence of the vehicle, trees and buildings blurred past the window. Perhaps this wasn't as peaceful for Amy as it was for me. After all, I still hadn't told her that Cross and I weren't an actual couple.

And I didn't want to.

Not yet.

A part of me wanted to keep him for myself. And if that thought weren't dangerous enough, I wanted to kiss him.

I’m folding too fast.

Was that all it took? Sweet words and good behavior? How long would that even last?

I didn't have an answer. All I knew was that my resistance melted the more he touched me, the more he squeezed me into his arms and showered me with kisses. But it was that look, the one he gave me as we drove off, eyes following me like he couldn't look away. I couldn't shake that lovesick expression off my mind.

Even if this was a fairytale, couldn't I enjoy it for a little bit? Just a taste, and then I could…

"I hope you and Cross are actually dating," Amy said calmly. Her fingers choked the steering wheel, turning it so sharply the car swayed.

How...unexpected.

"And why would you hope for that?"

"Because I think you're a hypocrite," she said coolly. "So after everything that's happened, I've decided it's best if the two of you get together."

Amy slowed at a stop sign before continuing. "I hope you fall in love with him. I hope your love makes you break the promise you made to yourself about waiting until marriage."

Darkness enveloped us as we passed under a bridge and into a tunnel, her usual shortcut to avoid after-school traffic. Here, with the shadows overlying her face, her voice turned bitter.

"I hope Cross fucks you the way he's fucked me. Over and over again, until you can't get him out of your mind," she hissed. A reminder that no matter what happens, she had him first. A semblance of a smile weaved over her lips, hurt and broken. "And after all that...I hope he leaves you. Just like he left me."

Her words left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth, it sunk to the pit of my stomach like lead. Her damning hopes extinguished something in me, and it wasn't my feelings for Cross as she hoped. No. It was the little patience I had for her stupid attitude. Sunlight streaked through the tunnel's exit, and like the sun, my smile beamed.

"You and I are not the same," I said icily. "I’ve never used sex to control a guy or make him like me. Even if what happens between Cross and I doesn't last, at least he treats me with more respect than he ever did with you. I'm not his dirty little secret. I'm not his sneaky link. And I definitely never sabotaged another girl to try and keep him."

"So what? You think you're better than me?" she snapped. "At least I had him in ways you never have…several times!"

Laughter burst from my chest, derisive and sharp. "You keep raving about how you fucked him- well how about this? Were you ever his friend? Do you know what his favorite food is, or the show he watches before he goes to bed? Do you know what he wants to be after high school? Here's a hint it's not a football player, even though he's great at it. But you will never know these things because he never cared enough to have those conversations with you."

Amy inhaled sharply, offense clouding her features, but I didn't let her recover.

"And by the way, Cross saw right through your stupid letter. I'm sure Rubi told you what he did after. Earlier today I refused to be his girlfriernd, but thanks to you, he got the perfect excuse to act like I was. So, congratulations– you officially helped me get my first boyfriend. Seems fair, since you ruined the last one before it even started."

Amy rolled into the driveway, eyes blinking fast to keep the tears from falling. This time, I didn't even care. I unbuckled my seatbelt and gripped the door handle. "This is the last grace I'm giving you, and it's not for your sake, but my mom's. I know how much she values your mom's friendship. But if you do another stunt like this, I will personally kick you out the house."

I slammed her car door and didn't look back. Not when the tires screeched. Not when her car reversed onto the road. It was for the best.

Let her sit with it.

Let her cry.

Why should I keep bending to her feelings when she couldn't care less about mine?