Chapter 26: CHAPTER 26

The silence was so deafening I could hear the faint ticking of a clock down the hallway. The air felt suspended, undisturbed by students tucked inside their classrooms.

All except the two of us.

The responsible side of me urged me to get to class, but shock kept me in place. Because in all the time I've known Cross I've never heard him speak like this. Even in his vulnerability, disbelief coiled in my heart. It reached the recesses of my mind and replayed today's memories like a careful cynic.

Amy's disheveled clothes.

Buttons out of place.

Was I supposed to take his words at face value and ignore everything I saw?

"I don't believe you," I finally said.

"What?" His grip on my hands loosened.

I swallowed thickly. "I saw you guys, Cross. Coming out of the closet. Her clothes were messed up."

"I didn't touch her," he said firmly. "She was waiting for me like that."

I sighed, looking briefly at the ceiling before meeting his pleading gaze. "Of course she was. She knew the usual routine."

His hands fell avway from mine, his features hardening into something cold, like a man who bared his heart and was scorned in return. "You think I would tell you my feelings and then fuck some other girl next period?"

I almost shivered. "Yes."

Because you don't know what youre talking about. How could he switch so drastically out of nowhere?

Cross went silent, eerily still until I noticed he was trembling. I watched as quiet rage swallowed him, evoking him to slam his fist onto a nearby locker.

I winced, drawing into myself as the harsh sound ricocheted down the empty hall.

"I am a lot of things," he said through clenched teeth, "but a liar isn't one of them."

"I’m not saying you're a liar"

"You are."

"I’m just saying your history leaves a lot to be questioned," I countered. "You woke up today and decided you wanted to be in a serious relationship, with me?"

"It wasn't all in one day." he said, defensive. "I've been thinking about it. I made a decision. The only reason I saw Amy today was to cut things off. That's it."

My gaze dropped to my hands. He had held them so tenderly I could almost believe him, but…

"You still don't believe me?"

Sensing his rising frustration, I held back my negative response.

"When have I ever lied to you?"

I sighed. It's not that simple.

"You told me I wasn't your type. Did you forget that? Your type is 'hump and dump':"

His nostrils flared as his neck became rigid. "My type changed." Despite his fury, he said it so softly, with such certainty, I couldn't find it in me to refute.

"So what is your type now?"

"You."

I nearly laughed. With the way he was talking I half expected a camera crew to say this was a joke. Unconsciously, my arms drew up around me.

Cross didn't miss my weary gesture, his eyes flashed with hurt. "You think I would ruin our friendship just to mess with your head?" His surprise was hard to miss. "Am I so bored that I'd screw you over like this?"

Would he actually...no, he wouldn't. But how could I explain to him that I couldn't unsee the trail of broken girls behind him. I'd warned Amy that getting his attention didn't make us special, but now he was telling me I'm the exception. It didn't make sense.

"Fine," he said coldly. "Forget I said anything. In your eyes I'm just a lying piece of shit anyways."

Before I could respond, Cross stormed off, each step heavy with resentment, or maybe regret. I watched his hand drag down his face, covering his eyes as though to berate himself for even telling me those things in the first place.

I wanted to reach out to him, to tell him he's right, he's never lied to me. We could just put this behind us. But even as I considered that, the memories of his broken dolls resurfaced.

Eliza, her neck caught in his hand after she leaned in for a kiss in health class. Jennifer, who'd slept with someone else after he ignored her into invisibility.

Amy, who crumbled once he was done with her. If he treated them that way, why would I be any different?

Maybe Cross didn't intend to hurt me. Maybe he really thought he developed feelings, confusing curiosity for something deeper.

Girls gave themselves to him so easily that maybe I'd become a challenge-a crush born from denial. Post sex clarity...isn't that what they called it? We hadn't cross that boundary of intimacy, so naturally he might've meshed his drive to conquer for affection.

I chewed on my lower lip and followed after him. We had too many classes to avoid each other forever.

Better to smooth this over before it festered.

When I stepped into health class, I was relieved to see the class in chaos from students handing in signed permission slips for the trip to Palms Beach Hotel. I slipped mine into the pile, merging with my classmates and taking my usual spot between David and Cross.

Except Cross wasn't there.

In his fury he'd opted to take a seat far off near thebwall, much to the pleasure a group of girls near there and the displeasure of Eliza, włho had warred through others to claim the seat in front of his usual spot.

I tried to catch his gaze, but he evaded me, staring straight ahead and thrumming his fingers like he couldn't be bothered.

"You guys argued?" David asked. His gaze flicked between the two of us with mild interest.

"He hates me right now," I muttered.

David stretched and exhaled. "He'll get over it."

I wished I shared his confidence. He had no idea what just happened, or that Cross practically confessed his feelings before storming off.

"Everyone settle down!" Ms. Ken said, waving her hands in a shushing motion. "You still have time to hand in permission slips. The earlier I get them, the better. Deadline is two weeks from now."

The classroom noise subsided as every student returned to their respective desk. It was then I noticed another person slipped in after me, also taking advantage of the earlier chaos to go unnoticed. Kelly.

Similar to Cross, she took a seat on the far edge of the room, close to the wall and very much away from Eliza. Her face looked raw, streaks of red marred her face from where she had scrubbed harshly.

Despite her efforts there still remained a faint rim of darkness around her eyes, probably residue from the smoky liner and mascara.

While Cross was reserved, Kelly was somber. She stared down at her fingers, hair curtaining around her in a way that desired to shut others out. Like a scared rabbit, her shoulders were hunched, waiting for another hit and pathetically preparing herself. It was saddening to say the least.

Ms. Ken clapped her hands. "Time to prepare for our next project!" Her excitement spread to the rest of us, plucking my attention from the two with drawn figures. "We're starting our parenting unit-yes, the one with the baby dolls this will teach basic parenting skills and hopefully prevent early slip ups!"

The class hummed with excitement, a few grabbing onto the edge of their desk in anticipation.

"Will we get to choose our partner?" someone asked.

Ms. Ken pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Sure. Why not." She flipped through her attendance sheet. "I'll go in order and you can yell your partner."

"But that's not fair!" Eliza blurted, panic already setting in. Knowing her, she was worried another girl would snag Cross before her turn.

"I'll alternate between the first and the last in my attendance," Ms. Ken conceded, seenming to not care at all, but willing for the sake of peace.

Eliza still dídn't look satisfied. The change didn't make her any more likely to get Cross, but Ms. Ken didn't give her a chance to argue.