Suzie
I saw Luke Monday…and Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Thursday, and Friday. Not just at school, like normal. Nope. Luke was everywhere, at my locker first thing in the morning, at our cafeteria table at lunch, along with his BFF Jason, and at the computer science lab with me every day after school.
Every. Day.
Not that I was complaining. I wasn’t. His commitment to learning was impressive, and I was happy to find that he was indeed a quick study like I’d guessed. When I wasn’t trying to tutor him on the basics, we were hashing out the details for our concept, and the more we worked on it the more excited I was about the idea.
It was definitely different from everything else that was out there in the world of MageLand, but what set us apart could very well be what made us a success. The idea was youthful, fresh, and marketable to the right target audience.
The best part about this week was that Luke seemed to be just as obsessed as I was. Margo, Matt, and Jason had to enact a law at lunchtime that limited how long we were allowed to talk their ears off about our idea because once we got started we were on fire.
But there were no limits after school, except for my mother’s insistence that I be home on time for dinner, which meant we spent every free second talking—mostly about the game, but then there were times we’d get off topic.
Now that I was used to talking to him all the time, it was amazing how easily these side tangents occurred. One minute we’d be talking about magical moguls and the next we were talking about my odd relationship with my brother, or the embarrassing story of how I got into video games in the first place.
“So, wait,” Luke asked on Friday after school. “You’re telling me you’re a gaming master because of Cara ‘Mean Girl’ Snyder?”
I laughed at both his use of the term gaming master and the way he’d called Cara a mean girl—like Cara was some WrestleMania character or something. “Yup, pretty much. She invited me over with a few other girls in fifth grade.” I snagged one of the chips from his open bag between us because this story required comfort food. “I was so excited to be invited, and when I got there they were playing Mario Kart.”
“Seriously?” Luke’s shock had me laughing again. Which was odd since this memory used to make me cry.
“This was fifth grade,” I reminded him.
“Okay, carry on,” he said with a little wave.
“Well, I tried to play but I’d never really played many games before. My mom didn’t believe in having them in the house so she never bought us a Nintendo or an X-Box or anything.”
“Cruel, cruel woman,” Luke murmured under his breath, making me laugh again.
“Exactly. So…” I drew in a deep breath, only now realizing how pathetic this story made me look. I rushed through the last part on one long breath. “Anyway, I wasn’t good. They made fun of me, and they didn’t try to hide it. And then we moved on to do something else and they made fun of me some more, and that was when I realized…they’d just invited me over as a joke.”
He winced and I looked away.
“I didn’t want my mom to know for some reason—I guess at that point I didn’t realize that I wasn’t cool. I thought maybe I could be popular like them.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what I’d thought, to be honest. But that day my eyes were opened.”
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
I shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”
For a second I couldn’t quite bring myself to look at Luke. This story was a reminder of just how different we were. This whole week I’d managed to forget about the fact that we lived in two different social hierarchies—it had been easy to forget since we were working on the same project—but now…
Well, I had a flicker of fear that he’d forget all about that kiss that had rocked my world and would wake up. He’d come to his senses and realize that he could have any girl at this school so why would he settle for a nerdy, plain girl like me?
He leaned forward, his elbows on the table between us. “Let me guess. After that day you got your vengeance by becoming a master of video games.”
I let out a laugh of surprise at his teasing tone, grateful beyond belief that he didn’t go the pity route and instead got us back on track with the easy conversation that had prompted this stupid story in the first place.
“Correct,” I said with a nod.
He shook his head. “Evil genius.”
“I know, right? I really showed them.”
“You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, you know that, right?” he asked, his voice surprisingly genuine.
I nodded, a little choked up, to be honest. “Of course I do…now.”
“Right,” he said with a shrug. “In your defense, we were all idiots in middle school.”
“You more than most,” I added.
He grinned. “Touché.” Leaning forward he shut the notebook where we’d been jotting down ideas. “So, are you ready?”
I feigned ignorance. “For our presentation next week? Yeah, I’m confident we’ll be ready.”
He smirked. “For our date.”
I hated my cheeks so much right then. They gave me away every time. I wished I could’ve been the calm, cool chick just once, but noooo. My cheeks turned to flames at the reminder that tomorrow we would be going on our first date.
“I’m ready,” I said as I toyed with my pen. We’d been so relaxed around each other all week I’d managed to forget that I was about to have my first date with the guy who was also my first kiss.
The fact that said guy was Luke was just about the craziest thing to ever happen to me. The fact that our first date would be at the silly Halloween carnival was a close second. What had I been thinking? Who thought a group hang at a middle school carnival was a good first date?
At the time it had sounded safe, but now it just felt childish. I was absolutely certain that the kind of girls Luke typically dated were not afraid of being alone with him. I mean, I wasn’t afraid of him, obviously. I’d gotten to know him well enough to know that Margo had been right. He was basically a good guy underneath the smirks and the teasing.
But he was still a guy. An attractive guy. An attractive guy who looked at me in a way that made my skin burn and my belly do backflips.
It was nerve-wracking…but not in a bad way. Being around him was alternately exciting, scary, and soothing. Sometimes all three at once.
Yeah, it was confusing. But again…not necessarily in a bad way.
“So, who all is going to the carnival?” he asked.
I shifted uncomfortably. “Um, the lunch crew, pretty much.”
The lunch crew being Jason and Margo, plus Matt. Luke grimaced slightly. “Are you sure Matt will be okay with me tagging along on what’s traditionally a friend night?”
I didn’t pretend to misunderstand him. While Margo and Jason had been thrilled to find out that Luke and I were…well, whatever we were…Matt had been far less enthusiastic. Actually, he’d been acting downright weird. “He’ll be fine,” I said with more certainty than I felt.
Luke didn’t look convinced but he let it slide.
I scrambled to think of something to say to excuse my friend’s odd behavior. He’d been acting weird for a while now, but whereas he’d grudgingly embraced Jason’s sudden appearance in our lives, he’d been far less accepting of Luke. The incident when Luke had come to pick me up the other day had just been the tip of the iceberg. He’d been either outright rude to Luke or ignoring him all week at lunch. Luke, for his part, had been going above and beyond to be inclusive and nice—well, nice for Luke, which I now realized involved joking. Often at others’ expense.
But his joking was never mean toward Matt so I couldn’t figure out what Matt’s problem was. Despite what Luke had implied several times this week, I knew Matt wasn’t jealous.
The thought was laughable.
No, his issues with Luke had to do with the whole #GeeksGoneWild war. The worst of it might have ended at homecoming, but Matt couldn’t seem to move past it.
Was Matt thrilled when he’d learned Luke was joining us this weekend? No. Definitely not. But Margo and Jason both assured me that they’d make sure he was on his best behavior.
Margo and Jason seemed just as invested in this date going well as I was.
Maybe more so.
“It’ll be fine,” I said again with more certainty than I actually felt. Luke didn’t look convinced but he also didn’t seem overly concerned. Luke had more self-confidence than anyone I’d ever met. He wouldn’t let the disapproval from one of my friends keep him from enjoying our first official date and neither should I.
But that was easier said than done.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then,” Luke said as he walked me out to my car.
This was another thing he’d been doing every day this week. After our work sessions were up he walked me to my car, going so far as to open the door for me.
If you’d told me a week ago that Luke Warner, resident bad boy and known player, was secretly a gentleman?
Yeah, I would have laughed until I’d cried.
But there were hidden layers to this guy who’d always seemed so very shallow. He might’ve been a basketball player and a partier and have gotten a reputation for hooking up with every available girl at the school…but that was only one part of him. That was the part he let the rest of the world see.
I paused before getting into the car because it hit me like a punch in the gut. He had the same sort of defenses that I did. Matt and Margo always accused me of hiding behind the quiet and meek façade, and they had a point. But it had never occurred to me before that Luke did the same thing.
He hid a part of himself behind the brash, smirking, confident swagger.
Huh.
“What is it?” Luke said, his smile making his eyes impossibly warm and inviting. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
He gave his head a little shake as he studied me. “I don’t know,” he said slowly. “But I like it.”
And then he kissed me. It was the first time he’d kissed me since the ski lodge and it was just as amazing. I’d been starting to think that maybe I’d exaggerated its magnificence in my memory. Maybe I’d blown it out of proportion since it had been my first kiss and all…but no.
If anything, my memory hadn’t done his lips justice.
This one was short and sweet, thanks to the fact that we were in a parking lot, no doubt. But it still knocked me off my feet and left me breathless.
It also left me wanting more.
But the gentleman that he is, he just gave me a soft smile and helped me into my car, waving me off.
The next day I faced Margo and Matt again, and yet again they were both on my bed as I got ready. Margo sported big yellow cat ears as part of some anime costume she was wearing, while Matt had gone with a simple black cape, like he did every year. He’d throw in some fake fangs before we headed out and bam, his costume would be done.
I was the only one sans costume, but that was also the norm. I’d done away with costumes right around the time that most girls started donning sexy ones. You know—sexy nurse, sexy vampire, sexy witch…
I didn’t do sexy. It just wasn’t in my wheelhouse. I’d never gotten the big boobs or curvy hips like Margo and even if I had, I wouldn’t have had the nerve.
Margo looked at her phone when it dinged. “The guys will be here in a minute,” she said. She wore that happy grin she always wore when she was texting with Jason.
It was sickening…but also, I kinda-sorta got it.
I mean, this thing between me and Luke was new…and weird. But more and more whenever I thought about him I found myself smiling. This would have been weird in and of itself—I’d never been one to have crushes, at least not on guys from school, and this thing I felt for Luke? Well, crush didn’t really seem like an adequate term. So yeah, this feeling would have been odd in the first place, but add to the fact that this was Luke we were talking about and we were officially in Bizarro World.
“I can’t believe you’re actually going through with this,” Matt muttered.
I heard him hiss and knew without looking that Margo had smacked him. She was more annoyed with his bad attitude over all this than I was. I didn’t love his comments, but it sometimes felt like he was voicing my inner thoughts. He was saying out loud just how crazy this was.
I didn’t want to get into it with Matt, not now when Luke would be here at any moment.
Would he kiss me again? Would he take one look at me in my boring boxy sweater and jeans and declare that he’d made a mistake? Would he spend the entire night bored out of his mind and wishing he’d gone to some party where there would be beer and girls and the possibility of sex?
I took a deep breath and tapped at the keys on my computer to bring it to life.
Nope, DataG still hadn’t logged on. He’d been weirdly silent this whole week but I was hoping to chat, just for a minute, at least. Nothing calmed me down or gave me more of a confidence boost than sparring with DataG, and right now when Matt was being so ornery and Margo was being so overly excited for me, I could have really used DataG.
He knew nothing about me and Luke. I hadn’t told him about last weekend’s kiss or this week’s flirting or tonight’s imminent date. Part of me wondered if I would have told him all about Luke if he’d been online this week, but a little voice of honesty told me I probably wouldn’t have. I mean, I’d gotten used to telling him everything, but… I kind of felt like I was cheating.
On DataG.
I know. It was stupid. It wasn’t like we had an actual relationship. We were just friends. Friends who’d never even met in real life. For all I knew he’d been MIA this week because he had a new girlfriend, or multiple girlfriends. The one and only time he talked to me about girls I got the impression that he, unlike me, actually had some experience with the opposite sex.
I shut off the computer with a sigh. I was being stupid. Of course I wasn’t cheating on him and of course he’d be happy for me once he found out. And I didn’t need him to give me a pep talk when I was about to spend the evening surrounded by friends.
“You’re making a mistake,” Matt said, jarring me out of my positive thoughts.
I came crashing down in a heartbeat.
“Matt, that’s enough.” Margo’s voice was sharp but Matt didn’t seem to hear her.
He shook his head, his glare focused entirely on me. “I thought you had more sense than this.”
I stared at him in horror. Seriously? He was doing this to me now? “It’s just a date,” I started.
“With Luke Warner,” he said. “The guy who’s done nothing but mock you and your friends since—”
“He’s never been mean,” Margo interrupted.
Matt ignored her again. “He’s friends with them.”
“Them?” Margo scoffed. “Do you hear yourself? This isn’t us versus them, Matt. It’s not that simple.”
“Maybe it is.” Matt looked more worked up than I could ever remember seeing him. He was typically a pretty laid back dude but lately nothing about him had been typical. This outburst was just another example of that.
Margo and I watched in horrified fascination as he leapt off the bed and started pacing. “You dating Jason was one thing,” he said to Margo. “Jason is different.”
“So is Luke.” I surprised them both—heck, I surprised myself—with that outburst.
“No, he’s not,” Matt said. “He’s just like the rest. Cracking jokes at everyone else’s expense and laughing at us behind our backs.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he clearly wasn’t done. “It’s guys like Luke that wouldn’t let that stupid slideshow incident go. It was him and his friends who made that hashtag go viral and who turned what should have been a stupid prank into something cruel.”
I gaped at Matt, not even sure what to say to that. “None of that was Luke’s fault,” I said.
“How do you know?” he snapped.
I blinked at him. How did I know? I just…did. The more I got to know Luke the more I was beginning to see that he was so much more than everyone thought him to be. Underneath the devilish smirks and the hottie, player vibe he was actually quite…nice. Kind, even. He was definitely thoughtful, and genuine, and…trustworthy.
My eyes widened in surprise at the realization. Since when did I trust Luke Warner?
But Matt misinterpreted my wide-eyed look. “See?” he said. “You can’t even answer that, can you? Because you know that he didn’t even notice you until you were the butt of a joke. You weren’t even on his radar until he thought you were some sort of party girl.”
My mouth opened but I didn’t know what to say. All of that was true, I supposed, but he was twisting it. He was making something out of nothing.
Wasn’t he?
“Matt,” Margo said again, his name a warning. I glanced over at her sharp tone and had to stifle a nervous laugh at the sight of my best friend in cat ears looking all fierce on my behalf.
But that hysterical urge to laugh died instantly when Matt ignored Margo’s warning once again. “You don’t know what he’s really up to, Suzie. He could be using you.”
“Using me?” I echoed. I felt like an idiot suddenly because of the way he was looking at me and because of the way those words refused to make any sense. “I’m just saying, we don’t even know what he’s about,” Matt continued. “This could all just be a joke to him.”
The sudden silence in the room was deafening. Margo was staring at Matt in horror and I was…well, I was trying my best not to cry in the face of all the emotions that rushed to the surface.
“Matt,” Margo said again, but this time her voice was soft. Sad.
Matt flinched like she’d struck him and took a step toward me. “Suzie, I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m just looking out for you.”
“You think…” I started and stopped to swallow down bile. “You think that the only way a guy like him would ever date a loser like me is if it’s a joke?”
“No, Suzie that’s not what I meant.” He reached out to me but I jerked away.
“Matt, I think you should go,” Margo said. He started to protest but she cut him off with a stern look. “Suzie’s date is about to show up at her front door at any moment and I will not have her crying when he gets here.” She moved closer to him and lowered her voice, but I could still hear her. “You were going to drive separately anyway, right? Meet us there and you and Suzie can talk later.”
He was quiet and I could feel his eyes on me but I refused to look up. “Fine,” he said with a sigh. I looked down at my feet, hurt mixing with humiliation. Did my own friend really think I was so pathetic?
And is he right?
I heard Matt approaching and saw his shoes enter my line of vision. “Suzie, I didn’t mean that the way it came out. You’re too good for Luke and you always will be.”
I swallowed. I had no idea what to say to that. I didn’t think I was too good for Luke and right about now I was really starting to wonder if Matt didn’t have a point. I mean, what did Luke see in me? Not this week, necessarily, but before that. What had changed that all of the sudden he noticed me?
That stupid photo. That was the only explanation.
I shivered as Matt opened the door to the hallway and slipped out. “I’ll see you guys there,” he said quietly.
In the silence after he left I could hear my heart pounding and my mind racing.
“Okay, stop,” Margo said, coming over and bracing my shoulders in a surprisingly strong grip. “Just stop. I don’t know what’s up with Matt these days but he’s been a weirdo about anyone who’s not a proud card-carrying nerd at Grover High.”
I felt a smile forming despite myself. She had a point. He had a chip on his shoulder for sure and it was time we found out why.
But not today. Not tonight.
“Tonight is your first date,” Margo said, ending with a giant grin and a squeal that made me laugh. “This is a big deal, lady. You need to enjoy this.”
“But what if—” Some of the fears Matt had stirred up started to pour out but Margo literally shut my mouth by clamping a hand over it.
“Nope,” she said. “Not going to go there. We can overanalyze to your heart’s content tomorrow but for this one night, just enjoy yourself, Suzie. You deserve to go out with a guy who’s so clearly head over heels for you. Stop doubting yourself and him, and just go with it.”
By the time the doorbell rang a couple minutes later, I led Margo out to greet them with a smile that was only partially forced. I’d managed to push Matt’s suspicions to the side but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still nervous.
I was.
One look at Luke when he entered and the nerves were washed away by my laughter. “Wow,” I said as Margo threw her arms around Jason, leaving Luke and I standing there face to face. “You didn’t,” I said through my laughter.
He gave me two thumbs up and struck a pose à la the Fonz. “Ayyy.”