Aileen
I looked up at Rosalia in confusion.
"What did you say just now?"
"Just as you heard. Why do you underestimate yourself like that?" she grunted, eyes full of determination. "Yeah, you may not be the same person as your dad. But, you are you, all of us are supposed to be unique. The Goddess didn't create us to become a duplicate of each other. There's nothing wrong in you just being 'you'. So, don't consider yourself worse in any way. It ticks me off."
"The perfect or ideal is just a false idea created by others. It doesn't exist. Cause nobody is perfect. And nobody is supposed to be perfect. The more early you realize that the more it's better for you."
"Rosalia…. you…."
Nobody is perfect…. then, I don't have to strive to be one?
Is it really alright if I stop trying? I don't understand.
"I know, she sounds a bit forceful sometimes," the principal remarks, wrapping his arms around her waist. But, trust me, she never gives bad advice. I'm speaking from my experience. Do you, Lia?"
"Of course not!" she turned to me with a serious face. You should learn to be a bit gentle with yourself. I don't know why you are doing this, but you are trying too hard. Don't do that."
Her words evoked some sort of emotion within me that I never felt before. The hollowness in my heart regarding myself, the weight of the expectations, all of it just disappeared out of my mind like thin air.
It's like a weight off my chest. It's something I always wanted to hear from someone, but no one told me that.
No matter how much Dave tells me he loves me, Unless I come to love myself all of it arises shallow words with no real meaning.
"Maybe Aileen is dealing with something in her life. Let her be. She'll eventually realize it herself," the principal suggested. "For now, I think we should head back. Is that okay with you, Aileen?"
I nodded, "Yeah. Thanks for telling me your story. If, there's anything I can do, don't feel hesitant to ask me for help, Alright?"
"We'll definitely turn to you for help," Rosalia replied, stepping forward to hug me. "In return, you should rely on us as well. Don't keep everything bottled inside of you. It hurts to see a person suffering with something they shouldn't be suffering with. Have some more faith in you."
At that moment, no one felt dearer to me than Rosalia who was comforting me with her words. That hug felt so warm as if we had known each other for so long.
"I'll rely on you, don't worry," I replied, hugging her tightly.
Maybe this is what they mean, having real friends who understand and relate with you truly. And not someone who's only friends with you on the surface. Maybe true friends are really hard to find that's why you only have a few of them.
And I'm glad I got to find her so early.
I skipped the two more classes after that and just went to have lunch at the cafeteria.
I zoned out while drinking the juice and someone's voice drew my attention, "Alone today, huh? Where are your friends?"
I looked in front of me to see Skylar standing.
"You?"
"Yes, me," he answered, taking a seat in front of me.
Why's he here now?
"Did you manage to get the answers to your questions? The one you were searching for?" he asked, resting his face against his palm.
I nodded in agreement, "I did."
"I could tell," he smiled.
"You could? How? Do you know magic or something?" I joked.
"No, I have intuition," he replied, "You've been missing out on the next two classes straight. You are a good student. You would never do that. So, you must've been busy, I figured."
"I'm a good student huh? The goody-good shoes?"
"Uh-huh, the elite ones. I look up to you."
"Really now? I'm not that good!" I chuckled, "Not as good as you think I am."
"Then, what kind of a person are you?" he asked, taking away my drink right in front of me. Then took a sip.
"I'm a very selfish person," I stated, "Like this."
I snatched away the drink from him the very second and gulped it down in one go.
"Hm…. this feels better. I'm surely supposed to be like this."
"Hey, I was drinking that!" he grunted, "Why did you drink it all?"
"Go get your own drink. I don't share mine," I replied, "That's the kind of person I am!"
He looked at me with a dumbfounded expression, "What the heck is even that supposed to mean?"
Yes, this is how I was supposed to be always. There is no need for me to strive to become the perfect person for Dave.
I bet he's not perfect either, he certainly has his flaws. I always tried to keep good grades from childhood because I didn't want to worry or disappoint my mom. I behaved well, and never brought any complaints at home.
Yes, I always aspired to be the good child, a good daughter, the one who never makes mistakes or ashames her parents.
But, that's not supposed to be right. People aren't dolls, they can't live a perfect life. And that's why I'm going to live my life the way I want to from now on without worrying about what people think of me.
And I want, Dave to know this about me as well, the kind of person he fell in love with.
"You know, I don't hate how you are being right now," he comments with a smile.
"You don't? I thought I sounded crude."
"No, in fact, it makes you look even more interesting and attractive than how you originally were and ten times funny too."
"Really? I didn't know that certainly. Thanks for letting me know. I'm glad to have you as my friend."
"Me too," he smiled, "But, I never seem to catch your eyes. What are you even looking at most of the time? It feels like you are here right now, but your mind is in a totally different dimension. How's that even possible?"
"Uh…that's…. I don't know….."
I'm occupied with my own thoughts most of the time. Does he find that weird about me?
"Yup, you are a total mystery. It's going to take time to know you fully," he sighs, "For now, let's order something to eat. I'm hungry."
"I did order some noodles. But, you can't take that."
"Eh, why are you so stingy? Just let me have a bite, I'm not carrying any cash or card today."
"That's not supposed to be my concern–"
"By the way, will you be home tomorrow?" he asked, scrolling through his phone.
What?
"Me? Uh…. yeah, I guess. It's the weekend, isn't it? why though?"
"Well, I had some new games that I brought this week. I don't have anyone to play them with. My friends are all busy with the girls. So, I thought I could either go over to your house to play them or you could come over to my house to play. Which one do you prefer?"
Games….. I love games. But, I need permission if I'm going over to his house. And that sounds like some extra work I don't need at the moment.
And lately, I've been so stressed by how things are at home. Maybe playing games is the best solution I have at hand.
As long as I don't go to his place, that's okay, I guess? Then, it'll be alright if he comes over. It's my house, after all, I don't need any protection from others.
"What are you thinking so much? Will you come or I will?" he asked, putting aside his phone. "Or do you not want to play games?"
"No, no, I want to play. I really do! You can come over to my house tomorrow. It won't be a problem."
"Come over to your house?" His brows raised in confusion, "Should I really come over? Have you had boys come to your house before?"
"Uh, no. It's okay though, you'll be the first."
Jack is unfortunate so he couldn't come over. But, Skylar is fine. And he's not my boyfriend anyway.
"If you say so, I'm coming to your house tomorrow with the games. Will the morning be alright? At what time should I come?"
"Um…you can come at 10 or 11. I'm fine either way. Or you can eat breakfast with us also."
Oh wait, was that an overkill? As long as Dave isn't at home to see him things will be fine.
"No, no, I'll come at 11. You don't need to get so worked up for me," he replied.
"Uh, alright. See you tomorrow then. You know the address right? Or should I send it to you?"
"Come on, everybody knows your address stupid," he chuckled, "You live with the Alpha, remember? I think you forget that sometimes, that you are a princess."
Yeah…. I do forget that. Guess I'm not used to this yet.
At last college hours came to an end, I saw Rosalia talking with the principal so I didn't bother them and just waited for the car to arrive near the gate.
I checked the time on the phone and Marshall arrived a few minutes later.
As always he was happy to see me, but the gloomy expression on his face a bit after was killing me so I ended up asking him about it anyway.
"Um, is everything alright at your home? You look a bit tense. You can tell me if anything is bugging you. We are family, remember?"
He stopped driving and parked the car at the side of the road.
"Well….. it's…. Becky's birthday in a week. But, she's still the same as ever. For this birthday, I wanted her to go out and celebrate it outside with me. But, that's not happening very soon, it seems. I was a bit troubled by that."