Chapter 18 Healer
Lila woke in darkness. Not her tower room. Somewhere else. Somewhere that smelled like herbs and smoke and old magic. She tried to sit up but her body wouldn't cooperate. Too weak. Too empty.
"Stay still, child." An ancient voice came from nearby. "You've been dancing with death for days. Your body needs time to remember how to live."
Lila turned her head. An elderly woman sat beside her, so old her face was more wrinkles than skin. But her eyes were sharp and knowing, the deep green of old forests.
"Where am I?" Her voice came out scratchy.
"My cottage. Three miles outside the palace." The woman stirred something in a pot that smelled bitter and medicinal. "The King brought you here in the middle of the night. Desperate. Terrified his mate was dying."
Mate. The word hung in the air. This woman knew.
"You're the healer." Lila remembered Adrian mentioning her once. His childhood healer. The one who'd tried to teach him gentleness before his father beat it out of him.
"I'm Miriam. And yes, I know what you are to him." She poured steaming liquid into a cup. "The mate bond is obvious to anyone with eyes to see and sense to understand. Drink this. It'll help strengthen your body."
Lila tried to refuse but Miriam held the cup to her lips with surprising firmness. The liquid burned going down, tasting like earth and bitterness and something that made her wolf stir weakly.
"Good. Your wolf is still alive. Barely." Miriam set the cup aside. "Another few days and she would have faded completely. Then you would have followed."
"Maybe that would have been easier." The admission came out hollow.
"Easier for who? You? The King?" Miriam's sharp eyes pinned her. "Death is never easier, child. It's just permanent."
Movement near the door drew Lila's attention. Adrian stood in the shadows, still wearing the clothes he'd broken into her tower in. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. His hair was wild. His eyes haunted. He watched her with an intensity that made her want to disappear.
"How long?" Lila asked.
"Two days." Adrian's voice was rough. "You've been unconscious for two days. Miriam's been forcing medicine down your throat every few hours. Your heart stopped twice."
The casual way he said it, like her heart stopping was just another problem to solve, made something crack in her chest.
"Why bring me here? Why not let me die quietly in my tower?"
"Because I'm selfish." Adrian moved into the candlelight. "Because I can't let you go even though keeping you is destroying us both. Because my wolf would rather see you caged and alive than free and dead."
"Enough." Miriam's voice cut through the tension. "Both of you, enough with the self-pity and guilt. We need to talk about reality." She looked at Adrian. "Sit down, Your Majesty. Stop looming."
Adrian obeyed, sinking into a chair near Lila's bedside. He kept his distance but his eyes never left her face.
"The girl is dying." Miriam stated it bluntly. "The mate bond rejection is killing her. Her wolf is fading. Her body is giving up. She has maybe two weeks left if things continue as they are."
"Then fix it." Adrian's voice held desperation. "You're a healer. Heal her."
"I can't heal a broken soul." Miriam's expression was hard. "The bond is sacred. When mates reject each other, especially when forced apart by circumstances, their bodies suffer. Their wolves fade. Eventually, they die." She gestured at Lila. "This is what rejection looks like."
"I haven't rejected her." Adrian's hands clenched. "I've done everything to keep her close. To protect her."
"You've caged her. There's a difference." Miriam's voice softened slightly. "The bond needs more than proximity. It needs acceptance. Completion. She's rejecting the bond because accepting it means acknowledging something that can never be."
"So what do I do?" Adrian's control cracked. "How do I save her?"
"Two choices." Miriam held up two gnarled fingers. "First choice: claim her properly. Complete the mate bond. Mark her, mate her, make her yours in every way. The bond will heal her instantly."
"That's impossible. I'm married. I have a pregnant wife. The kingdom—"
"Would burn. I know." Miriam nodded. "So that leaves the second choice." She looked at Adrian with something like pity. "Let her go. Truly let her go. Send her far away where she can't feel you through the bond. Give her distance and freedom and a chance to build a life without you. The separation will be painful for both of you, but you'll survive it. She'll survive it."
Silence filled the cottage. Adrian stared at Miriam like she'd suggested he cut off his own arm. Through the bond, Lila felt his absolute refusal even before he spoke.
"No."
"Adrian—" Lila started.
"No." He stood abruptly. "I won't claim you and destroy everything. But I also won't send you away to suffer alone. There has to be another option."
"There isn't." Miriam's voice was gentle but firm. "Child, you've trapped yourself. You can't have your mate and your throne. You must choose one or lose both."
"I choose both." Adrian's eyes flashed gold. "I choose to keep searching for a solution that lets me keep her close without destroying my kingdom."
"And while you search, she dies." Miriam gestured at Lila's wasted body. "Look at her. Really look. She's already half-gone. How much longer do you think she can survive your indecision?"
Adrian looked. Lila saw the devastation in his face as he took in her hollowed cheeks, her protruding bones, her skin stretched too tight over her frame. She looked like a corpse already. Just waiting for her body to catch up with her broken spirit.
"I'll find a way." But his voice held no conviction. "There has to be a way to fix this."
"Hope isn't a plan." Miriam stood, gathering her herbs. "I'll give you privacy to discuss this. But understand, Your Majesty: you have days, not weeks. Make your choice quickly, or death will make it for you."
She disappeared into another room, leaving them alone in the candlelit cottage. Adrian sank back into his chair, head in his hands. Through the bond, Lila felt his desperation, his terror, his absolute refusal to accept either option Miriam had presented.
"Adrian." Lila's voice was weak but clear. "You have to let me go."
"I can't."
"You have to. It's the only way I survive."
"You'll survive if I claim you." His eyes met hers. "Complete the bond. Make you my mate in truth. Your body would heal instantly."
"And your kingdom would crumble. Your marriage would end. Your heir would lose legitimacy. Everything you've worked for would burn."
"Maybe I don't care anymore." The admission came out broken. "Maybe I'm tired of duty and responsibility and sacrificing everything for a crown I never wanted."
Before Lila could respond, the cottage door burst open. Celeste stood in the doorway, seven months pregnant and furious. Behind her, palace guards filled the night.
"I knew it." Celeste's voice shook with rage. "I knew you were hiding something. Meeting in secret. Sneaking around."
She took in the scene. Adrian beside Lila's bed, holding her hand. Lila obviously sick and weak. The intimate privacy of the cottage. Her face went white with understanding.
"I want the truth." Celeste's voice turned to ice. "NOW. What is she to you?"