Chapter 88 : The Move For Solution
HAYDEN’S POV:
Weeks passed and somehow… everything got worse.
At first, I told myself it was just a phase…..a rough patch with a couple of bad nights that would fade if I drowned them out hard enough.
So I did exactly that.
I drank more, smoked more, and partied so fucking hard.
I did everything to keep my head loud enough so I wouldn’t have to hear his voice in it because that’s the real problem.
It was not the kiss, the way he held me during sex, or the fight.
It was Stephen himself. He was everywhere, even when he was not.
The music in the club pounded so hard it felt like it was shaking my bones.
Bodies press in from every direction, heat and sweat and flashing lights. Someone hands me another drink—I don’t even know who—and I take it without thinking.
That’s how it’s been lately. I did not think. I just acted on impulse. Just… anything.
A girl leans into me, laughing at something I didn’t say. Her hand slides up my chest, nails dragging lightly, her eyes already looking at me like she knows exactly what kind of night this is going to be.
I smirk automatically.
This part is easy and always makes sense.
I lean down, murmur something in her ear, and she laughs again, louder this time, like I’m the funniest guy in the room.
I’m not, I don’t need to be. I just need to be fucking hot and Hayden. The hot Jock.
By the time I stumble back to campus, the world is tilted slightly sideways. My head buzzed, my body heavy, but it’s not enough.
It was never enough.
Because the second thing gets quiet…He is there again.
Stephen… I blinked hard probably thinking it was the alcohol but it wasn't. He was there standing in the doorway, looking at me like….
I shake my head hard, as I can physically feel the vision fade away.
“I'm not doing this,” I mutter.
Practice the next morning was brutal. Coach was yelling, my teammates were running drills and the sun felt too fucking bright, but the second I stepped onto the field…
Everything clicks.
This is the only place that still makes sense.
I moved faster, hit harder, pushed further than I should. My lungs burn, muscles screaming, but I don’t stop.
I can’t because stopping means thinking and thinking means….
“Hayden!”
I snap back as the ball nearly flies past me.
“Focus man!” Jeff shouts.
“I am,” I shot back, a little too sharp but I was not.
Even when I scored, when the guys clapped me on the back, when Coach nodded in approval, it didn't hit the same.
It used to feel like everything.
Now it just feels like… something to hide behind.
After practice, it was time for class and my grades were slipping, badly. I don’t even try to pretend otherwise anymore.
I had assignments go unfinished, and lectures that I barely attended. Half the time, I don’t even remember walking into class.
So when I hear my name after the lecture, I already know what it’s about.
“Hayden. A moment, please.”
I glance back to see Miss Jane standing by her desk, arms crossed lightly, expression calm but sharp.
I drag my bag over one shoulder and walk up slowly. “If this is about attendance, I’ve been here.”
“Physically,” she says.
I huff out a quiet laugh. “That counts, doesn’t it?”
Her eyes don’t soften. “You’re one of the most capable students in this class. But right now? You’re barely passing.”
I shrugged. “Still passing.”
“Not for long.” Something in her tone makes me pause.
I don’t like that.
I lean against her desk slightly, tilting my head.
“Are you always this worried about your students?”
Her gaze sharpens. “The ones wasting their potential? Yes.”
I grin, slow and careless. “Or just me?”
She doesn’t react the way most people do. She doesn’t blush or flinch. She just watches me and for some reason… that irritates me more.
So I push further.
“Relax,” I say, voice dropping slightly. “I can make it up to you.”
Her brow lifts. “Excuse me?”
I step a little closer, just enough to cross that line. The one I shouldn’t cross.
“I’m just saying,” I murmur, smirking, “you might like me better if you gave me a chance.”
There’s a pause, a long one. Then she spoke. “Is that what you think this is?” she asks quietly.
Something about her tone cuts through the haze for half a second.
I ignore it.
“Come on,” I say, leaning in just a little more. “I could make you feel things you haven’t in a while.”
That usually works. I had confidence and arrogance. Just enough edge to make it interesting.
But Miss Jane? She just straightens and looks at me like she sees right through everything.
“You’re not as charming as you think you are right now, Hayden,” she says calmly.
The words hit harder than they should.
I scoff. “Could’ve fooled me.”
“No,” she replies. “What I see is someone trying very hard not to deal with something.”
My jaw tightens as I push off the desk, grabbing my bag. “You’re overthinking it.”
“Am I?”
“Yeah,” I shot back. “I’m doing just fine.”
Her expression doesn’t change and somehow… that pisses me off more than if she’d argued.
“Get your grades up,” she says finally. “Or you won’t be on that field much longer.”
That stops me, just for a second. Because that? That actually matters but I can’t let her see that.
So I just shrug. “I’ll handle it.” and walk out before she can say anything else.
The hallway feels too quiet. My grip tightens on my bag as I walk faster, like I’m trying to outrun something.
Her words echo anyway.
Someone is trying very hard not to deal with something.
“Bullshit,” I mutter under my breath.
I’m fine. I’m more than fine.
I’ve been proving it every single night.
The parties, the girls, the drinking. All of it. So why….I stop walking abruptly because for a split second… I swear I see him.
Stephen. He was standing at the end of the hall but when I blink….He is gone.
My chest tightens anyway.
“Fuck…” I drag a hand down my face.
This is getting out of hand. I exhale slowly, forcing myself to move again because there’s only one solution to this.
I need more noise, distraction, and anything that isn’t him because the second I slow down…The second thing goes quiet…
He would still be there and I don’t know how to get him out.