Chapter 77 Seventy Seven
KAZIEL
"And you think it might not be related to the cult?" I ask Kira after dinner. My girl is curled up on my lap, tracing her fingers along the veins on my arm.
"She's trying to fight you, obviously, babe. I guess she needs a whole vampire army. I thought she loved you," Dani says, shaking her head with a hilarious expression on her face. "Oh, what a deception."
Kira laughs, tossing popcorn into her mouth. "She's a keeper, Alpha."
It is surprising how Dani had never once felt insecure about Vanya coming back to life.
Her fingers trail absent-minded shapes against my skin, her weight resting on me without fear or doubt.
It still stuns me sometimes... how wholesome this is. How easy. How she doesn't want anything from me except me. Nothing to prove or perform. Only an intense feeling of warmth, love and true peace. It's the opposite of what I remember with Vanya.
Or... what I think I remember.
I swallow hard, my chest tightening. Back then, I'd been far too young and so deeply in love that I didn't question anything. I mistook intensity for compatibility. I mistook drama for passion. I mistook her unpredictable moods for depth.
And now...
Now that I'm older, clearer, and grounded, now that I know what real love and peace feel like, I can't shake the creeping thought slithering into my skull.
What if she had been manipulating me from the start?
The idea punches me hard, stealing my breath.
The Hollow never reacted around her. Not even once. And she lied to Danika about how she died.
Why?
My pulse races, unease pooling low in my stomach.
Dani shifts slightly, still tracing the lines of my arm. Her vanilla scent wraps around me, easing the knot in my belly.
"I loved her," I murmur without meaning to, my voice low, "and I never saw the signs. What if everything I remember about her...everything I thought was real...was altered?"
Kira pauses, popcorn halfway to her mouth. "What do you mean?"
I try to dig deeper, trying to picture specific moments with Vanya. The way she smiled. The way she held my hand. The way she—
A bone-crushing agony explodes behind my eyes.
I grunt, snapping forward instinctively. My hand flies to my temple. Dani sits up so quickly, she almost knocks the bowl of popcorn off the couch.
"Kaz?" she breathes, her palm gently sliding onto my cheek. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
I shut my eyes against the pain, my jaw clenched. "Just... a headache," I manage, but my voice is unconvincing. Even to me.
Kira's brows rise slowly, concern flashing across her features. "That didn't look like a normal headache."
No. It didn't feel like one either. But I can't lie to my mate. Especially not about this.
I exhale shakily, leaning back as Dani's hands cup my face. Her fingers massage my temples with such care it knocks the breath from me. How is she always this gentle? How does she look at me like I'm someone worth saving?
I inhale, forcing the words.
"I think..." My throat tightens. "I think my memories with Vanya might be blocked."
Dani freezes, her thumb going still against my cheek. Her hazel eyes are wide and filled with worry.
"I think she manipulated me from the start," I continue. "And whatever she did... whatever spell was placed on my mind... it's still there. It's fighting me when I try to remember."
Kira sits forward, all traces of amusement gone.
Dani's hands tremble against my temples. "Kaziel..." she whispers, horror and heartbreak mixing in her voice. "Why didn't you tell me you suspected that earlier?"
Because I didn't want her thinking she was competing with a ghost. I didn't want her to worry either.
I swallow. "I didn't know how to say it. And I didn't want you to think she still mattered."
Dani shakes her head, sliding closer, her head resting on my shoulder.
"She doesn't matter," she whispers fiercely. "She can't compare to what we have."
Her warmth melts into me, calming the storm inside my skull. I release a slow breath, realization finally hitting.
Vanya didn't just happen to fall out of love. She might've never loved me at all.
Kira clears her throat softly.
"If your memories are blocked," she begins, "then maybe we should consider unblocking them."
I tense up instantly.
She lifts her hands with her palms out. "Kaz, listen. We can't keep guessing what Vanya wants. If she went that far, tampering with your mind, then whatever she's after isn't small. She's orchestrating something. And right now, we don't know what it is."
I clench my fists. She's right. I hate that she's right.
Because the idea of letting someone peel back the inside of my mind feels like standing on the edge of a cliff with no promise of a landing.
Dani's voice cuts through my spiralling.
"What if I use my Sanctum power?" she suggests softly. "I mean... if something is wrapped around your memories, Sanctum energy is meant to purify, right? It might be enough to burn through whatever's blocking you."
The air leaves my lungs.
"No."
She blinks, startled.
"You're pregnant," I say, catching her hands before she can keep touching me. "Your core is unstable. Using Sanctum energy right now could hurt you. Or the baby. Or both."
Hurt flashes in her eyes, but the stubbornness lingers. So stubborn. "I'm not fragile, Kaz."
"You are," I murmur, pressing her knuckles to my lips. "And that's not an insult. It's just the truth right now."
Kira leans forward again.
"She won't burn her core," she says. "Not this time. Every time Dani uses Sanctum energy, she drains it out of the vessel and forces the core to reset. I can stabilize her afterward."
I shoot her a glare. "You make it sound simple. It's not."
"It is simple," she counters. "She purifies. I reinforce. The baby remains safe."
Kira is a half-kitsune. And although she truly does specialize in cases like this, my mind is still unsettled. We're talking about a possible risk to my angel.
Dani turns those big, worried eyes on me, and suddenly my chest feels too tight.
"Kaz... if this spell is controlling your memories, who knows what else it's influencing? What if she's been shaping your decisions? Your instincts? What if she wants you for something bigger than you think?"
I inhale sharply. The possibility stings. Vanya didn't just hide memories. She chose which ones I kept. Even the version of her I loved.
Maybe I never even knew the real woman.
Kira softens her voice. "Look, Alpha... this is about more than closure. This is about survival. Yours. Danika's. Maybe even the baby's."
The baby.
My throat constricts.
Dani scoots closer, her hand finding my cheek again. "We'll do it together. I'll stop if anything feels off. I promise."
I search her face, uneasy and terrified.
Kira's right. We need answers.
I let out a long, heavy sigh.
"Fine," I murmur, resting my forehead against hers. "We'll try. But you shouldn't push yourself past even a hint of pain. You must stop the second I tell you to."
She nods, relief settling over her features.
Kira grins, cracking her knuckles. "Perfect. I'll prep the opening field."
Dani squeezes my hand, and I squeeze back, but my stomach churns.
Because something tells me that whatever we uncover...it won't be something I’m ready for.
...
Minutes later, I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor, with my back straight, my palms resting on my knees. Dani settles in front of me in the same lotus position, her knees brushing mine, her eyes glowing faintly.
Behind me, Kira kneels with her seven fox tails fanned out in a perfect semicircle.
"Okay," Dani whispers, taking my hands. Her thumbs stroke slow circles over my knuckles. "Breathe."
I inhale and exhale, anchoring myself in her presence.
Kira's voice comes next. "I'm activating the opening. Don't fight it, Kaz. Let the pull take you."
The air shifts, my bones feeling like lead.
Dani squeezes my hands once more. "Ready?"
I nod, closing my eyes. And the pain hits.
A spike drives straight through the centre of my skull, as though someone is hammering a blade between my eyes. My spine bows before I can stop it, air rushing out of my lungs.
"Breathe, Kaz," Dani murmurs, her voice soft. "Stay with me."
I try. Gods, I try.
Sweat beads instantly along my forehead, running down my temples, dripping off my jaw. My heart pounds like it's trying to break out of my chest.
Kira grunts. "The block is resisting. Push through it."
Something cracks right then. A memory slams into me so brutally my whole body jerks.
I'm lying on a bed. My bed. Vanya is sitting beside me with a bowl of something steaming. Her smile is soft. She presses the spoon to my lips.
"It'll help you sleep, love."
I swallow, and my vision blurs. My limbs are so heavy and numb. I try to speak, but everything goes black.
Another memory floods in.
I'm on the floor, clutching my stomach, sweat pouring off me. I'm on fire. I hear Vanya's voice somewhere above me.
"Yes. He's weak today."
She's on the phone, talking to someone. She glances at me and flashes me a cold smile.
She turns away again.
"No, he won't be a problem. I told you, the more he trusts me, the easier it is to siphon."
Siphon?
My breath catches in my throat, my hand tightening involuntarily around Dani's.
The vision drags me deeper.
I'm in bed again. Vanya sits beside me, running her fingers through my hair. I try to sit up. I can't.
"Shh," she coos, slipping something bitter under my tongue. The room swims.
"Stop fighting it," she coos. "Soon you'll be mine truly."
I gasp, choking on the memory as it rips through me.
"Kaziel—Kaz!" Dani's hands cup my face, her voice trembling. "Look at me. Stay with me!"
Kira's hands grip my shoulders from behind. "It's unravelling too fast! He's about to hit the core, slow him down!"
I try to open my eyes and breathe.
But the memories keep coming—
Vanya slipping something into my drink when she thought I wasn't looking. Her checking my pulse. Her whispering to someone in another room, thinking I’m asleep.
"He thinks he loves me. The fool. The bond is fake, he doesn't know that yet."
A white-hot pain detonates behind my eyes.
I gasp and fold forward, my forehead hitting Dani's shoulder. She wraps her arms around me instantly, letting out a soft cry.