Chapter 65 Sixty Five
DANIKA
Kaziel wasn't in bed when I woke up this morning. And as I stand in front of the mirror staring at my reflection, a shiver runs down my spine at the thought of what might have happened if Kaziel didn't tell me what to do. Pushing my wet hair away from my face, I try not to get emotional, but it's ridiculous. The tears come anyway.
Wiping at my tears, I take hold of my phone and quickly text my mate to ask him where he is. Then I saunter out of the room because no matter how traumatized I am, food always comes first. Comfort eating should be its own supernatural power. Honestly.
My flip-flops smack lightly against the floor as I make my way down the hall, hugging my robe tighter around myself. The house feels too quiet.
When I reach the living room, I pause.
Cora's curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around her legs, the TV playing something bright and muted that she's clearly not watching. She's hunched forward, fiddling with her fingers.
Her eyes look swollen, her shoulders slumped. The sight makes my chest tighten painfully. The second she notices me standing there, her whole face lights up like a Christmas tree.
"Dani?" she breathes.
And then she's up. She runs towards me at full speed, I can barely follow her movements. And before I can prepare myself, she crashes into me with a sniffle, her arms locking so tightly around my torso that my feet literally lift off the ground.
"C-Cora—" I squeak, but she's already burying her face into my neck, shaking.
"Oh my god," she sobs, squeezing me harder. "I thought... I thought you weren't…. Danika, I thought you weren't going to wake up. I thought you were gone. I couldn't—" Her voice breaks into a painful, shattering noise. "I couldn't see them. I couldn't help you. I just—I just sat there while something was taking you and I—" Her breath hitches, and she clutches me like she's holding on for dear life.
Tears sting my eyes. I've never had a female friend who cared this much about me. Ever.
"Hey," I whisper, my arms sliding around her, rubbing her back slowly. "I'm okay. I'm right here."
"You weren't breathing right," she cries into my shoulder. "Your temperature was so high, and Kaziel looked like he was dying, and...Danika, I was scared out of my mind."
I feel my own throat tightening, tears streaming down my cheeks.
"I'm sorry," I murmur, pressing my cheek against her hair. "I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't mean to scare anyone."
She pulls back just enough to look at me, her face blotchy, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"You can't do that again," she whispers, her voice breaking. "You can't just—just almost die on me. You're the only friend I've got here. Do you understand? You're my person."
That does it. Tears spill over my eyes again. I hug her tighter.
"I'm here," I breathe, my voice shaking. "And I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
Cora nods against me, still clinging to me.
"Aww, isn't that the cutest hug I've ever seen?" Bellamy drawls from the door and Cora glares at him before she gently lowers me to the floor.
"What? I'm just saying. You practically lifted her off the floor. And that's a massive feat," he goes on to say and I grab a throw pillow, hurling it square in his face.
"Shut it, Belly!" I snap.
He grimaces, catching the pillow before it drops down.
"Sorry. I'm just...worried about Kaziel," he utters and I stiffen.
"What happened to him? Where is he?" I ask, worried.
He shakes his head. "He says he's fine. But Dani, he nearly killed Tyler. No, scratch that. Tyler is currently half dead and is still begging to be spared. Look what I got for trying to stop Kaziel."
He lifts his shirt, and I gasp when I see the long claw marks across his chest and abs. They look raw.
"He's pissed. It's not a good experience, Dani. He struggles with reining in his temper once he gets to that point. That's why he stays sassy and pretends to be unaffected most of the time."
Cora winces.
"Why aren't you healing?" She asks, her voice laced with concern.
"Tribrid venom," he shrugs and I freeze.
"Is it lethal? Oh my god, are you dying right now?" I blurt out and he chuckles.
"If he meant to kill me, I'd be dead by now. There's no in between," he replies.
"Shit," I mutter, balling my hands into fists. Bellamy shrugs and starts to walk away.
"Where is he?" I ask and he glances at me over his shoulder, his eyes shimmering.
"I wouldn't go to him right now if I were you. You'd be heading towards dangerous territory. And I mean it."
Cora exchanges a bewildered glance with me.
"He won't hurt me," I tell him and he releases a sigh.
"Fine. He's in the Lakewood garden. If you can find it, you'll see him sitting by the orchard. Cora, come with me," Bellamy says and I exhale, nodding at Cora. She takes it as her cue to follow him.
...
The Lakewood garden looks like something out of a dream. I had to use an uber to get here and I'd been anxious the whole way. Dew glistens on the grass, sunlight filtering through the canopy of fruit trees and flowers. But the moment I step past the first line of trees, I feel it.
His aura. It sizzles like electric currents.
"Kaz...?" I whisper shakily.
Then I see him.
He's sitting on the grass beneath the largest pear tree in the orchard. His head is bowed, his arms resting on his knees. His chest heaves with each breath. And he's not in his normal form.
My breath catches in my throat at the sight of him. This must be his demon form, I realize.
His skin glows faintly, and from his back are a pair of large wings. They are not angelic or bat-like. They are feathered obsidian wings streaked with glowing gold veins. They curl around him protectively.
His claws are out, and his eyes swirl with black and gold. I inhale sharply, and he hears it. Kaziel lifts his head slowly... and freezes. My goodness, he's stunning. Like a dark angel.
"Dani..."
His voice is unrecognizable. It's deep and echoing. It's also eerily layered, like two or three versions of him speaking at once.
"Walk. Away."
I should. But I don't.
"You're hurting," I say softly.
His wings flare so violently that the wind slaps my hair across my face. Fruit drops from nearby branches just from the force of it.
"Hurting?" he snarls. "Hurting doesn't even touch it."
He clenches his fists, blood dropping rapidly on the grass.
"I am furious. At everything. At myself," he growls. "I lost control. I FAILED you. I should've—"
"Kaziel, stop—"
"NO!"
His voice booms, and a shockwave ripples outward. Leaves fall in a circle around him.
"I wasn't fast enough. I LET YOU GET HURT."
His burned neck is still scorched black and red, the marks pulsing with heat like magma under his skin. Seeing it makes guilt stab straight through me.
"Kaziel..." I kneel in front of him. "Look at me."
His nostrils flare, his jaw clenched.
"Please," he whispers. "Walk away."
"I'm not going anywhere."
His eyes snap to mine, fury and fear swirling in them.
"You don't understand," he growls. "I am not safe right now. I'm volatile. My demon is—" His voice cracks. "—barely contained."
"I trust you," I say.
"Don't." His wings twitch. "Don't trust me right now. I'm..." His breathing shudders.
He squeezes his eyes shut, trembling. When his eyes open, they glow brilliantly.
"My worst fear almost happened. Because I let you out of my sight."
My heart cracks in half.
"Kaziel..."
"Don't say my name like that." He looks away, his wings tightening around his back. "I'm trying not to grab you."
"Then don't fight it."
His head snaps towards me.
"Danika—"
I crawl forward, cupping the side of his face. His breath hitches.
"You're not a monster," I whisper.
"I could hurt you,” he rasps, his voice guttural.
"Kaz," I whisper. "Look at me."
He finally does. And the moment our eyes lock...his hands grab my waist, dragging me into his lap with a desperate, strangled sound. His wings snap forward instinctively, enclosing us in dark-gold shelter.
"I'm so angry," he breathes against my lips.
"Then show me."
He growls and crashes his mouth to mine. He kisses me like he's starving, like he's been holding back for years and can't anymore. His hand slides into my hair, the other gripping my hip so hard I gasp.
His burned neck brushes against me, and he flinches but doesn't stop.
"Kaz—" I gasp.
"Don't talk," he growls, kissing me harder. "Not now."
His forehead leans against mine, his wings folding around us like a dark cocoon.
"When I realized that I was losing you," he whispers. "I realized something. Something I didn't want to say. Something I wasn't ready to say."
Moisture cloud up his beautiful eyes.
My heart pounds faster, awaiting a bomb I know he’s going to drop.
"I... I should have sent you away," he continues, his voice cracking. "I should have pushed you into safety and never looked back. But I didn't. I couldn't. You're in my blood, in my bones, in my soul... You're mine, Dani. Mine in ways I didn't even know were possible until last night.”
His hands reach for me, hovering inches from my face, trembling. "I hate that I need you. That I can't breathe right if I don't know you're safe. I hate that you have this hold over me, Dani... but I don't want it to end. I don't want to be free of you. I need you. More than I've ever needed anything in my life. I need you alive and I need you with me. Even if it destroys us both."
I let out a sob, speechless, feeling like I can’t breathe. Because I think… I think I…
"Danika, I...I'm in love with you."