Chapter 138 My Angel | 031
AZREN
I take a step backwards, feeling the familiar chills eroding my body and senses. The voices are screaming now, my ears ringing. I'm panicking, too terrified to even show it. This wasn't supposed to happen. I took my meds today. So, why...why can't I fucking breathe?
Why...
The accusations are jabbing at my skull now. It's to the point where I want to scream.
I can hear the voices laughing, ready to consume me. Just when I think I'm really going to lose my mind, Noelle grabs my hand and pulls me with her.
"Focus, Az. Which car is it? Hand me the keys," she whispers urgently.
My hand trembles as I pass her the keys to my car.
"The white Bentley," I force out the words, breathing hard.
Noelle's grip tightens on my wrist. She doesn't hesitate. She yanks open the passenger-side door and shoves me inside with surprising strength.
My body folds into the seat like it's made of paper. I'm shivering, every muscle locked in ice. The door slams shut. Then she's inside with me, locking everything, windows up.
But it's not enough.
The thuds continue. It's muted now, but it's relentless. The old woman's screams filter through the glass.
"You took him! You killed my Trent! Monster! Monster!"
I press both palms to my temples, trying to squeeze the noise out. It doesn't work. Nothing works.
Noelle's hands are suddenly on my face, soft and warm. She pulls me towards her until my forehead drops against her collarbone. Her arms wrap around me, one hand cradling the back of my skull, the other stroking slow circles over my scalp.
"Breathe," she whispers.
Those words make me want to sob. Because I can't. My lungs are frozen.
I really can't.
My chest is heaving, but the air won't stay inside. Hot tears roll over before I can stop them. I'm begging and screaming in my head. It hurts too much. I want to die. I want it to stop. Please. Please. Please.
I'm crying like a child now, shaking like I'm coming apart at the seams.
"I'm sorry," I choke out. The words scrape my throat raw. "I'm so sorry, Angel. I didn't—I didn't mean to—"
She shushes me gently, her fingers never stopping their rhythm in my hair.
"I know," she murmurs. "I know you didn't."
But she doesn't. She can't.
Outside, the old woman is still screaming. Still hitting the car. Each thud makes me flinch harder.
"I killed him," I rasp against her neck. "I—I lost control. The spirits—they got in. I couldn't stop. I tried. I swear I tried. He was just... he was just trying to help me, and I—"
My voice breaks.
The tears won't stop. They're burning down my face, dripping onto her skin.
Noelle doesn't pull away. She holds me tighter, her hand still massaging my scalp.
"You're safe," she whispers. "You're safe right now. I'm here. I'm not leaving."
I want to believe her.
Gods, I want to believe her.
But the voices are laughing now.
She'll leave. They all leave.
You'll kill her too.
You always do.
I curl tighter into her, my face buried in her neck, sobbing harder.
"I'm sorry," I choke. "I'm so fucking sorry. I don't want to be the monster that hurts everyone. I don't want to hurt you."
She keeps stroking my hair. But she's crying now. I'm panicking even more. She can't cry for me. I don't deserve it. She can't—
"You're not hurting me right now," she says softly. "You're just... hurting. And I'm here. That's all that matters."
I hold on to her, feeling my body going limp. I can't... oh gods, please, I can't pass out. No.
I can't hear her anymore. I'm floating away again. This..this wasn't supposed to happen...
...
I jolt awake with a gasp. Every inch of my body hurts. W-where am I?
"Azren?" I hear Noelle say and I freeze, my gaze sliding over to rest on her face.
I'm half-lying on her lap in the car, I realize. Panic instantly hits me.
"Did I hurt you?" I croak and she shakes her head, taking my hand and pressing my knuckles to her lips.
"How are you feeling? You look so tired," she whispers and I stare at her, confused.
I didn't...hurt her? Didn't I get possessed when I passed out?
"Az?" She whispers, holding my palm to her face.
Am I...dreaming?
"Hey, look at me, honey," she says, a weary smile tugging at her lips.
Her beautiful eyes are bloodshot. The mere sight of them makes my chest tighten.
"You broke my heart, you know?" She tells me with that soft smile still on her face.
I swallow past the lump in my throat, uneasy.
"Watching you cry like that...it made me understand how much pain you are in." Her eyes well up with fresh tears, but she tries to smile wider, her lips twitching.
I screwed up, didn't I? She wasn't supposed to see me break down like that. This is so embarrassing.
"Are you blushing?" She suddenly asks, startling me.
Heat creeps up my cheekbones, and I bury my face against her stomach.
"No, Angel. I'm beyond mortified," I tell her, my voice muffled.
She chuckles. "You do know that everything that just happened doesn't make you less of a man, right?"
Slowly, I peek at her from her stomach. Her smile is so breathtaking.
"I still think my husband is the sexiest man I've ever met," she tells me, brushing strands of my hair away from my face. "His eyes are the prettiest. Whenever I stare into them, it feels like I'm staring into a galaxy of stars. Don't get me started on his body. He would put an Adonis to shame."
I roll my eyes even though I'm smiling now.
"You're such a flatterer," I say, my voice hoarse.
She sighs. "I'm telling the truth, though. Most of all, I can see his heart. It's so big and golden. But it's carrying so much pain."
I swallow hard, blinking.
Gently, she wipes the tears off my lashes with her thumbs. "He thinks he scares me. Well, he's stuck with me now."
Warmth floods my chest, an overwhelming relief sinking into me.
"Thank you," I whisper, and she smiles weakly.
When I look up at her again, she's tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. My gaze snags on the incomplete flame mark on her hand, my eyes widening. It's glowing a bright golden colour.
Could that be why I didn't get possessed?
Did this mean...there was a chance I didn't have to depend on Sabrina's cocktails anymore? Perhaps if I maintained proximity with her, I could get better?
Emotions clog my throat as I pull myself up with her help, my hair flopping over my forehead and into my eyes. She gasps, her eyes bulging.
"Oh no, your hair's a total mess, Az," she utters.
But it doesn't matter because I'm smiling now. She gestures at me to lower my head towards her. So I do as she asked. She carefully runs her fingers through my hair, styling it. I close my eyes, basking in the feel of her touch.
I can't wrap my head around my original decision to keep her at arm's length. I was certain I'd once promised to keep her close. So, what happened? When did I choose to become cold to her?
Last night? What happened last night?
"It's done," she says, beaming. "You know, you can just go back to the office. Or better still, go home and get some rest—"
I pull her against my chest before she can complete her statement. Then I kiss her hair.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, and she goes still. "I'm not exactly sure why I feel the urge to apologize. But I must. So let me take you shopping, is that okay?"
She nods, beaming. "I'd like that."
My phone rings out right then, and I glance at it, my brows furrowing. Sabrina?
Noelle cups my face, making me fix my stare on her. She looks nervous now, biting her lower lip lightly.
Then she kisses me hard, stealing the remaining oxygen in my lungs. When she pulls away, her chest is heaving.
“Can you promise to believe what I have to say to you now?” She says with an aching desperation in her eyes.
I frown, worried. “Tell me.”
“You’re under a spell right now, Azren,” she tells me, and I stiffen.
“What?”