Is it a crime?
“Is he being serious? I hope not.” Leo was saying. He's been talking for minutes, and it was both draining and painful.
“He is serious. He already signed his part.” I said yet again, staying at the blue cover file on my table. It had a logo that belonged to Richard's Pack.
“Is he seriously trying to cut ties with our Packs?” Leo was at it again. “Isn’t that a bit too irrational?”
A bit? You mean a lot. Cutting ties with our Packs would lead to a complete cultural shift. Because we're so attached, it'd be so hard for him to completely cut us off. And if he succeeds, it'll leave a scar on all of us.
“You should talk to him, man. He listens to you…”
“Not anymore. Richard and I are…” It was hard to admit, but — “...over. We're done, man.”
It hurts but it is what it is.
“So if he wants to cut ties with my Pack, then so be it. I'm just sorry you got dragged into my mess.”
“Nah, don't worry about that. It's just sad that our relationship got this bad. I wish there was a way to fix this.”
Yeah, me too.
“There's none,” I said, refusing to cling to nonexistent hope. “I'll pay for the damages your Pack will be facing by this new development. Just…don't bother me about talking to Richard and get him to change his mind. I'm never doing that.”
“Yeah, I get it. Thanks, man.”
“Later.”
Miguel walked in as the phone call ended. I placed it on the table and sat in my chair.
“Speak. How did it go with the rogues?”
“We chased a handful of them down to the boundaries. But we lost them there. I can't explain how they vanished because there are literally no routes there. But they did vanish.”
“Into the thin air.” I made a gesture with my hand. “Just like that?”
“Yes, boss. It sounds crazy but that's what happened.”
“It does sound crazy.” And I wasn't in the mood for crazy right now.
He bowed apologetically. “But…but…one of the men mentioned that he struck a rogue with a sword. Left a bloody slash but the rogue slowly disappeared in front of him.” He added in a breath.
My insides churned. “DISAPPEARED?”
“Yes, boss. Disappeared.” Miguel repeated, unwaveringly. He didn't even stutter. “I hate to say this to you, boss, but there's an 85% chance that they're using dark magic. Because how else do we experience these weird occurrences?”
How else? There are many fucking ways to explain the occurrences! They knew a hidden route. They created one. They…they're just fucking fast and slippery; hard to lay a hand on. I'd take any other insane explanation, anything else that didn't imply magic. Just the thought of it is gonna bust my brain.
I hate magic. I hate the traditional ways. I hate the traditional ceremonies, the camping in the woods, the howling in your wolf forms like some damn wild beast in the middle of the night, the offerings to the moon goddess.
I hate it so much that I went all out in developing my Pack, making it lose any trace of traditional vibes it once had.
I hate it so much that I've never morphed into my wolf form since that night Anastasia died, or so I thought. I prefer being chauffeured around or being behind the damn wheel myself rather than racing through the woods in my wolf form.
I just don't wanna think of myself like a goddamn dog. And I don't wanna believe all the myths and ancient stories about our existence. I just don't wanna listen to anything that sounds too paranormal. Like what he just said, about the rogues…Disappearing.
“What do we do, boss?” Miguel asked.
I was very tempted to reply with “I don't know”, but that would freak him out. Because I always know. I'm always in charge. I always come up with the most perfect plans.
Except today…I'm not feeling good. I feel like I'm gonna be sick or I'm already sick. My nerves are tense. My chest is aching. My temples are throbbing. There's a hollow in the pit of my stomach. I can't breathe past it so it's making my breathing kinda slow and shaky.
There's an overwhelming sadness lingering on my face. There's wetness lingering behind my eyes.
There's no way in hell that I can come up with a plan when I'm this messed up. Still, I can't tell him that.
“I'll think of something,” I said, with a convincing boldness. He nodded, bowed, and left.
I leaned back on my chair, groaning at the mild migraine buzzing around my temples. I didn't need to see a doctor for this. Medicine wouldn't cure me. Only one person can…and it's been two days since I last saw her staring at me with those guilt-filled eyes from her window.
There's no possibility of reaching out to her. I can't call her. I can't go back there to see her; matter of fact, I don't think I can ever visit Richard's Pack again. That day seemed to be the last.
It also felt like the last time I'd be seeing her again. Or maybe the last time I'll be seeing her for now.
I got home that day, cussing her out so much. Every nerve in me hated her for doing this to me again. For leaving me again, for not attempting to fight for us. I cursed her so hard, and I vowed that I hated her. But when night came and I was alone in my bed, I realized I didn't hate her any more than I missed her. Anymore than I still yearn for her…and that's what shattered me this much.
I can't be okay without her. It's impossible. I want her back. I'd fight to get her back if she didn't already choose her Father over me.
God. Nah, this won't do. I can't keep sulking over her. I need to get out, get some air, connect with reality.
I stood, grabbed my car keys, and headed for the door. The buzzing sound of my phone on the table had me turning around for it.
My heart raced hard when I saw it was Elena. I picked it up instantly.
Her soft breathing rang through my ears. Then her voice followed.
“Vince,”
Just two days, and it feels like it's been an eternity since I heard her say my name.
“Elena,” I tried for a bit of composure, but I sounded like a lovesick, heartbroken teenager. “How nice of you to call me.”
She paused. It almost felt like we disconnected. I had to strain my ears to pick up her soft, controlled breathing.
“I called to say goodbye,” she said.
A sharp pain shot through my heart. “Where you going?”
“I…I can't tell you.” She sniffed.
Right.
“How long will you be gone?”
“I'm not sure. Two years or more.”
Two fucking years. Someone put a bullet to my skull already. It's better than the hell she's about subjecting me to.
“Your Father's idea or yours?”
“Vince…”
“Answer me.”
“Both.”
She chose…to leave me? After every fucking hell I went through for her, she made such a decision? Isn't that fucking sweet?
Didn't I fight enough? Didn't I love her enough? Didn't I give up enough for her? How much further do I need to go for her to finally trust in my love and not always toss it aside like some worthless piece of rag?
“It's what's best for everyone…” she was saying. I cut her off.
“It’s so damn hard fighting for our love, isn't it?” I held back a sniffle. But she was sobbing out loud. I hated that she was crying like she was the damn victim in this mess.
“I'm sorry…”
The fuck you are. The automated voice in the background announced the departure of a flight.
“I gotta go.” She said, "I hope you're happy with her.”.
My rage doubled.
“I don't know if you meant that or you're trying to be fucking sarcastic, but you're so damn predictable, Elena. I knew you'd do this if you knew she showed up and you just proved me right.”
“It's not only about that. It's about you and your fight with my Father…”
“And also about the damn fact that it's so impossible to choose me, Elena!” I snapped. “After everything I did to keep you beside me. After I tweaked my laws for you…”
“Vince…”
“What haven't I done for you, Elena? What more could I have done, just to make you learn to choose me? Why do you keep stomping on my love like it's nothing? Is it a damn crime to love you? Is it? Am I being punished for that crime?”
She was crying again. “I'm sorry…”
“You wanna leave me? Go the fuck ahead. Get on that plane and go far away. But do know this, my patience has a limit. Don't keep my child away from me for too long.”
“Okay.”
Okay?! Just that?! She's so damn…cruel!
“I hope you're never happy, Elena. Your ungrateful ass doesn't deserve it.” I said with so much grievance and hung up.
I couldn't let her hang up on me. It'd kill me. Completely.
I tossed the phone back on the table, slumping back in my chair. I don't have the strength to leave this room anymore. I shut my eyes, fighting back my tears. But they slid down. I could feel life slipping away from me.
Why did I let her do this to me again?
Why did I let her crush me so badly again?