Terrified
My head's banging so hard and I'm literally zoning out. They're talking, the Asian Alphas are interested in my new project, they're saying things I should be tentatively listening to, but I'm lost in my maze of thoughts, and there's no saving me.
Or maybe there is. The abrupt buzz from my phone just single-handedly rescued me.
I subtly peered at the screen. It was a text message from Miguel.
I opened it with the speed of lightning. The six words he sent almost gave me a cardiac arrest.
Your first mate saw Luna Elena
“Gentlemen, would you give me a minute?” I stood, slowly pushing my seat backwards. “I need to make an important call.”
“Sure, Vince. Go ahead.”
I nodded at my P.A. She can listen to their ideas, criticisms, and proposals on my behalf. This call feels like it's gonna take a little long.
I stepped into the hallway, anxiously dialing Miguel's number. He picked up immediately, like he was waiting for my call.
“Miguel,”
“Boss.”
“What the hell happened? What do you mean Anastasia saw Elena?”
“Luna Elena made me meet up with her at an eatery.”
“Why?”
“She wanted to know what it is you're hiding from her.”
Shit! My knuckles clenched in my building frustration.
My heart pounded hard. Fear sure is a crippling emotion. “What did you tell her?”
“Nothing much. Just about the goons. I didn't mention they were rogues though. Forgive me, boss, but I had to tell her something. She wasn't gonna let me off the hook if I didn't.”
“How did Anastasia come into the picture?” That was the part I was itchy to hear.
“She was at the eatery. She had quite a bad collision with a waitress. I think she bumped her head into the table or something. I don't know.”
She's stalking Elena…
“Yes,” Miguel affirmed, making me realize I'd said that out loud.
Why?! Why was she fixated on meeting Elena? What's she trying to get out of that?
“Luna Elena is pretty infuriated, boss. When we got home, she was fuming. And…she hit me.”
“She…what?”
“I deserved it. I'm okay. You need to talk to her. She's breaking.”
I ruffled my hair, feeling the weight of despair hanging over my shoulders.
“Sure, I'm on my way.”
The call ended. But almost the same second, I was getting another.
“Greetings, Alpha Vince.”
“Frederick, what is it?” He's Miguel's third in command, which explains why he has the privilege of having my number and dialing it.
“The girl we're watching over…” he began, and I became tense. “...she has a bad swell on her forehead.”
Right. Miguel mentioned it.
“How did she get out of the house in the first place?!!” I barked, my hold on the phone getting tighter.
“We…we don't know, boss. One minute, she was in her room and the next, she was gone. No one saw her leaving. We only saw her returning with a bad wound on her head.”
This is frustrating!!
“Keep her inside. Stay close to her. Get tied to her for bloody sake. I just need to know she's in that building, not wandering around my Pack like a damn ghost!”
“We’re so sorry, Alpha Vince. And we'll do as you wish. But what are we gonna do about the swell on her forehead?”
“I'll send a doctor over. Keep a goddamn eye on her until then.”
“As you wish, Alpha Vince.”
I was a man wallowing in anguish and plight. With my head spinning and banging even harder, there was no way I could return to the meeting.
I texted my P.A about a sudden emergency at home. She promised to handle the meeting quite professionally.
Minutes later, my car was leaving the company premises and speeding home.
I played the words I was gonna say over and over in my head. But they all vanished when I got to my gigantic gate.
I drove inside the compound and alighted from the car. The maids welcomed me as I stepped inside the house.
The usual ambiance was slightly ruined by Miguel's loud scolding of two of the men. They looked way too terrified while he stood in front of them, raining curses at their faces. He looked stressed. I guess he had a hard time dealing with Elena. He's venting his anger on them.
I let him be because I was more concentrated on my own problems. Each step I took heading upstairs gave my heart a bang.
When I got to the bedroom door, I took a deep breath before quietly pushing it open. Part of me, the coward part, hoped she'd be asleep. That would buy me more time.
Another part of me hoped she hadn't slept with all those negative and sad emotions. She's sure to have bad dreams.
I wasn't sure if she was awake or asleep but she was on the bed, covered with a duvet and facing the wall.
I tugged at my tie, getting rid of it. I folded up my sleeves, as I slowly came closer to the bed. I settled on the edge of it, next to her legs, which were covered.
“You awake?”
No reply. But then seconds later, her soft sobs echoed into my ear.
Goddamn. I took a good minute to think of what I'm gonna say. Words that wouldn't make me sound like a dick or…Like I was trying to excuse my actions.
Words that'd convey my sincerity and how genuinely sorry I was about this whole shit.
“How you feeling?”
The question had already left my lips before I realized how dumb it was. She was crying, wasn't that enough of a statement on how she feels? Dick!
“Miguel told me what happened. He said you hit him.” Still no words from her. I glanced at her. “I understand that you're feeling awful about everything but can you please refrain from taking it out on him?”
Silence…
“Take it out on me instead. Hit me over and over.” I low-key miss it anyway. “Just please spare him. He did whatever he did for me.”
Silence…
It wasn't helping. But I pushed myself to continue.
“I'm sorry I ended our moment at the office with such abruptness. I had a meeting…nah, that's not it. My head was heavy. I've been drowning in thoughts lately.”
Still silent…
It fucking hurts. I wasn't used to her ignoring me like this. Normally, she'd yell at me, cuss me out, hit my face, and flip me off. And God knows I'd choose that over this any day.
“Can you just bear with me for a little bit more?” That part left my lips with so much yearning. “I promise I'll tell you everything. I swear to the moon goddess. I just need a little more time and I'll come clean, baby. Until then, can you promise me you're not gonna crash out and you're not gonna do anything reckless?”
Silence…
Nah, I can't take it anymore.
I stood, going around to where her face rested on the pillow. She lifted her face as she saw me and quickly sat up. She didn't bother cleaning her tears. She let them roll.
I knelt, reaching out to hold her hand. She didn't object. But she was still rigid.
“Elena…baby…” Tears clogged my throat, forcing my jaw to clench in my struggle to get the words out. “If I'm keeping it from you, it's because I'm too much of a coward to tell you. It's not because I don't respect you or that I don't wanna share. I'm just terrified…fucking terrified.”
She looked at me with shock. Maybe because this was the first time I ever vocally admitted that I was terrified.
“But I'll tell you everything. Everything. Soon. I promise.” I kissed the back of her hand. The anger in her eyes softened.
“Are you having cold feet about the inauguration? Are you having doubts about getting officially mated to me? Is that it?”
“NO. Elena, baby, how can you even say that?” I touched her face gently, rubbing off her tears. “I'm dying to get mated to you. It's all I've ever wanted. And I'm this terrified because I'm scared my stupid secret could ruin our moment from happening. And I don't want that. The thought of it is…unbearable.”
She held my face in return; her eyes glistening with so much love.
“Whatever it is, I hope you know it's not gonna change anything. You're the man I love. You're the man I live for. And that's never gonna change, Vince. Ever.”
My heart danced at her firm reassurance. I'd give anything to find comfort in her words. But I'm way too practical and an insufferable realist.
I know in the back of my mind that when she finds out about Anastasia, she's gonna flip. She's gonna leave. And worse…she's gonna take my unborn child with her. It's a future I dread, but one that has a very good chance of happening.
Hence, my fear and my hesitation…