Chapter 166: Rethinking It

Lex's POV.

Well, at this moment I was staring at her not sure of what I was supposed to say in response.. I found myself asking the same question in my head. I mean why did I have doubts even when I know I was never faking anything, every step of the way everything I felt for Lisa happened naturally I didn't have to force them and at some point I couldn't even deny them.

"I don't know, Lisa, maybe because I love you too much, but I'm scared that you are going to die. Maybe because I think it's not right of you to die for me and that I am not worth it. Maybe it's because I am worried that I would be ruining the little good moment we can still get to have despite the challenges of my father now. "I do not want to mess things up, Lisa. I do not want to go back and think I should not have gone there in the first place, and that is why I am worried about you. Aren't you the one who told me to take responsibility for everything I do wrong, and that is exactly what I am trying to do right now. Why are you stopping me?" I asked her, stepping closer this time.

"I am not stopping you, Lex. I am only trying to make you say this from my very clear point of view, and that's when you'd realize that everything you think you're doing is not the right thing to do, and you know, I think you should go home and think upon this because maybe, just maybe, you'd be able to clear your head of this miserable idea you are going on with, and we can then think of working out something else, but if not, then count me out of this." Her voice was clear and firm. Of course, I knew that she was going to stand by those words if I did not help with her, and Lisa was not the one I wanted to mess with, not in a situation like that.

"I haven't all I want to say, Lisa. I am sorry that I'm such a jerk right now and you cannot stand me. I'm sorry if I'm making you go through a tough time right now because of what I'm thinking is the right thing. Please, I hope you do not take this hard on yourself. I'm going to come around just when I'm able to bring myself to understand that I'm really risking the life of the one person I have come to really love."

"And maybe you should think upon this as you go out of the door and think about what your next decision would be. You are not risking my life; I am the one choosing to do this. I am the one who makes decisions for myself and not you. If you are going to do this, you are making decisions for your own self, Lex, and not for me, which is completely fine and that's the way it is supposed to be, so don't you dare think that me going on this mission with you is you risking my life. I am the one who is taking that risk," she said to me, her voice a little louder this time and even more fierce.

"Fine. "I am sorry for thinking I can make decisions for you, and I promise I won't be overstepping that ground anymore, and from now on I would only make decisions for myself, knowing very well that you deserve that respect, Lisa," I said to her, and she was completely satisfied with that statement. She nodded her head slowly, stepping aside as she turned around and made to walk back when I grabbed her hand without thinking.

"What are you doing, Lex?" She asked me as we were staring at each other now; I could feel her breathing on my face.

"Something I really want to do..." I said, and without giving her a chance to respond, I leaned in and kissed her on the lip. I held on for some seconds before I slowly began to move my lips, and it took about three seconds before she also responded.

Slowly it began to get intense. By the time my hands were wrapped around her waist, pulling her tightly in, and the other hand pushed her hair from her shoulder, we had Susan's voice.

"Okay, this wasn't what I thought the meeting was going to look like, Lex. It's time to go home," Susan said as we pulled away from each other, staring at each other's eyes, not sparing her a glance.

"I promise I'm going to make the right decision for me at least so you do not have to worry about me anymore. "I know how much you're giving up for me, and I am not going to waste it, so I'll take my time and think on this perfectly, and I'll come up with the right decision that will not ruin things for us," I said to her, my voice low, almost like a whisper, but even though I knew that Susan could hear every word of what I was saying, without hesitation I pulled away, turning to face her now.

"I am really sorry you are to see that I just couldn't; I mean, I couldn't pretend like it was not something I wanted to do all that time I sat across the tables staring at her face."

"Oh, the goddess help me, Lex, you've really got guts. Didn't I tell you that it was time to go home, or do you want me to throw her out of the door?" She asked me in that her voice was fierce, but I knew she wasn't mad at me because if she were, she wouldn't have said something that would make Lisa laugh.

"And what exactly are you laughing at, huh?" She asked, turning her gaze to Lisa while I used the opportunity to slip out of the door.