Grown
Catherine
“Not because I want to die, but because I want to live.”
She smiled.
“I think that if I stay, I will end up trying to survive more than I want to live. I think that I have a small window, and yes, I am the youngest and the weakest, but I think my knowledge of theory and foundations will help me. I think the only way I’ll ever be able to use magic the way it’s supposed to be used is if I go, and if I go now.”
She smiled and then squinted. “Good choice,” she said. “I will send over a parchment to your family, but you must sign and return it tomorrow. That means you definitely, by and large, agree that when you die, if you die, your amulet will be returned back to the Tower for safekeeping.”
“Yes,” I said, my hand reaching up to grip the large stone amulet around my neck. All who could cast magic had one, and mine was currently a colorless, transparent rock embedded at the center of a golden frame. They said the amulet would change colors to your attribute. Many had one solid color, some had different colors, but never more than three solid colors divided equally.
Later that night, the parchment was truly sent. Instead of normal paper, or, in fact, a mail, it came delivered directly. It was rolled up and then sealed by a dark burgundy wax embedded with the seal of the White Tower. I held it in my hand and slowly placed it in front of my father.
“She told you then?” he asked.
“Yes,” I whispered. “But I said no.”
His face fell, but otherwise, he didn’t cry. I was grateful for that.
“This does not make me happy,” he said. “Your mother refuses to come out from her room since yesterday.”
I gave him a slow nod. Mother would come around eventually, I told myself. She was often sensitive, and for good reason too. Mother’s family had the most sleeping killed.
They had more than one killed by members of the Black Tower, who believed that those without magic were a stain on our civilization. She, more than most, had lost too much, and the trauma had not only cost her to give birth to me, the child she had conceived after had died, and others after.
“I will come back,” I said. “I promise, Father.”
I held his hand as I held the parchment in the other. “I will come back.”
Father’s eyes were filled with tears, but proudly, he didn’t let them fall. He, too, should sometimes have faith in his daughter, just as much as I had faith in myself. Or more accurately, my wavering faith was going to be put to the test.
The next day, with the signed parchment, I strolled into Professor Cadence’s office and found Orion seated. I felt my heart skip several beats. From the color of his skin to how bright his golden eyes glowed, there was something strange about him. My eyes darted down to his amulet, it shone with four colors. He was a rare one, a powerful and rare one.
His eyes must have noticed me staring, because he shifted, blocking his amulet from my view. I calmed myself, keeping my head down as though it was a blunder for me to be alive. A part of me still chided myself for always wanting to apologize for everything, whether or not I did it, whether or not it was wrong. I didn’t know what it was, but someday, I supposed, I would find out.
“You have your scroll?”
I mumbled a yes, pulled it out of my robe pocket, and placed it on her table.
She gave me a smile, looked at Orion, and mumbled something about waiting for the last member of our cohort. The door opened shortly after. I turned around and found Izen shuffling in. He mumbled an apology for being late and chose the chair at the side of me, caging me between Orion and himself. There was another seat at the other end of Orion , why didn’t he just pick that one?
“The three of you will be given your assignment by me. Some others have already been given theirs and they have to leave immediately.” She paused.
“Meaning that I’m done speaking with you on the general details of your assignment. You will be given scrolls , only open once you have left the Tower. You cannot speak to anyone about your quest. If you do, you will die. Only amongst the three of yourselves can you discuss your quest.” Her eyes moved over us one by one, perhaps hoping that we would understand the gravity of the situation.
“You all must go into the western half of the continent. You are to ensure by and large that our interests are covered , rogue packs, borders, and all. Anyone whose stance is against your goal, you are authorized to kill.” She looked at us steadily.
“And once again, if you die, your amulet will be returned and your body will be brought back here to the Tower, where we will keep you until the end of the trial period; your body will then be given to your family. Am I clear?”
“I know,” I said slowly. She shook her head. “Use words.”
“Yes,” I said, and it was soon followed by my other cohorts.
“Please,” she said. “Stay alive.”
“Allegiance rights have long since declined amongst the high-ranking families. No one is having children, for whatever reasons known to you lot. Apparently, for reasons unknown as well, the only ones brave enough to want to have children are those without magic; their population continues to rise. But that is another story for another day. You may go,” she said, lacing her fingers together.
“Before you leave, your missions will be given to you. Go and pack your things and come back here tomorrow. You all have one day.”
The girl I suppose was simple: infiltrate and determine influence and perhaps control. Those things were all things that I could not do on a regular basis.
Until, at the end of the day, I sat in my room, my father having packed all my things. He sat beside me, his hand sinking as he did so.
“I know it is again the rules to ask, but you will tell me if something is wrong, yes?” he said.
I looked at him. “Yes,” I smiled. “It’s not as though everything is wrong; it’s just that things are not the way I’m used to.”
He hummed in response. “Sleep,” he said. “You will have a long day tomorrow. Go rest.” He paused for a minute, and just as he did, I found Mother poking her head into my room, though she didn’t come in. She simply stood in the doorway with a smile on her face.
“He tells me that there’s a time I should let you go, that I should let you grow.” She wiped her eyes. “Forgive me,” she said. “But you are my baby.”
“I will come back,” I said. “I promise.”