Chapter 16: Radio silence
16. Radio silence
- Jacob -
“We were friends… then I treated her like shit.” That's what West had told me. I stayed quiet. We might not be very close, but I knew it’s rare for him to admit mistakes.
Natalie didn’t meet me the next morning or the morning after. I glance at the last text I sent her yesterday.
Me: ‘Are we up for our study session today? I’m kinda excited to attend your school on Monday.’
It’s Sunday evening and I haven’t heard from her. There’s been radio silence for two days. I was busy with a chemistry competition today, so I didn’t give it much thought earlier. Now I sit in my room, reflecting on our last conversation.
“You guys don’t have a good history, it seems…”
“You figured that much?”
I nodded. “See you tomorrow morning by the lake?”
“Sure,” she had told me in a meek voice.
She probably decided to choose a side for me. I cannot describe my disappointment in words.
.
- Natalie -
.
Bloodsucking Monday is back. I was holed up in my room the whole weekend. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. I feel a little guilty about not replying to Jacob. It is his first day at this school. I am sure it will be great.
As I put my stuff in my locker and turn. Millie almost bumps into me, then gives me a smirk.
What is that smirk about?
She has a locker next to mine. She often passes mean comments or strange questions in my way. Norris has been dating her for the past few months. From what I have heard, she is super possessive of her boyfriend. Norris could do better.
Ok, Stop... Not my problem.
“I heard that hot new transfer is your neighbor.”
WHAT??
Has his house address leaked already?
“New Transfer?” I am not gonna admit I know him. It will end up with the same signature question.
Are you planning to fuck him, too?
Not exact words, but something subtle.
“Oh, come on! He lives somewhere near the lake. You live there too… Rich people!!”
I roll my eyes. There must be hundreds of houses and not everyone there is well off.
“I thought you had a boyfriend.”
She shrugs, ”Not gonna order… but that doesn’t mean I can’t see the menu!!”
Jeez... Objectification…
Would she be generous to Norris if he cracked that joke? Because she wouldn’t be generous to me. I don’t have a boyfriend or anything. Still; I am not allowed to look at the menu.
Oops, Objectification.
I walk away from her. I am glad I avoided Jacob like a plague over the weekend. Felt like a bitch for standing him off for our study session. But I couldn’t help it. This tiny conversation with Millie is proof that it was the right thing to do.
That evening, while playing games at his place. Being around West for almost an hour fucked me up more than I would like to admit. I should have left without accepting his invitation to spend time there. I didn’t want to give West the satisfaction of knowing that he still affected me.
The irony is, he still does.
Nothing like I want him back bullshit.
No.
It felt suffocating. It was a reminder of our old times. How I had everything, then nothing. He took my friends away. I still feel vulnerable at school sometimes.
Being friends with Jacob won’t do any good for either of us. I am not even sure why I am thinking about him so much. We barely knew each other for four days. Six more months and I will finally leave this bullshit behind and it will be a fresh start at college.
Then, out of my sheer stupid luck, I notice him.
The Hot New Transfer.
Our eyes meet, he smiles and my heart starts beating like a drum. Millie is walking almost behind me. I cannot talk to him now. He is approaching me. Ignoring him over the weekend was a bad idea. I should have given him a brief about the rumors he will hear at school. How everyone considers me a…
What’s the word for it?
A woman of easy virtue…
Which is funny, considering some girls around me change boyfriends every other week. Obviously, there is a rotation because there ain’t many hot eligible boys available. Jacob is a new hope for them, and I am not willing to take their hope away. Nope.
And why is he smiling when I ignored him so much? I don’t want to be rude to him, but I cannot acknowledge him either. I keep my head down without returning the smile and I pass him.
It feels pathetic.
I feel pathetic.
It doesn’t matter if I pay no heed to him. He has his team here for him. He has known many of them for three years. He has known West for three years. Not me. So why would he choose me? Nobody chooses me.
Rest of the day goes uneventfully. Jacob doesn’t even spare a glance in my way. I should be content, but I am not. I assure myself this feeling will be over soon. Because avoiding Jacob is me taking control of my life.