Chapter 6 Chapter 3 (ii)
Fae
And I pointed at the tip of his nose with the tip of my right index finger. It ended down his right eye, almost gouging his eyeballs. “He and Sarah… were fuck buddies!” I announced, enjoying the freedom brought about by alcohol. There was nothing more gratifying than saying the fuck word when you’re this dead drunk. “I’m not friends with fuck buddies of Sarah because Sarah isn’t my friend anymore. Or... never. Been my friend.” I closed my eyes. I was supposed to hurt because of that. I forgot why. “Whatever… fuck her shit…”
When I opened my eyes, the men were looking at me, two comical shocked faces. And I stared back at them. Tom wasn’t even a tad close to Jigo’s perfect, classically handsome looks. He’s beautiful. Just another proof that Sarah chose men really sloppily. If not a maniac like Tom, then someone like Carl whom someone else genuinely loved.
Me. I loved Carl more. There was no way Sarah could love him like I could… I cried inside, and I suddenly remembered I was hurting. I could feel something cutting at my heart, squishing it bloody. Shaking it dry.
“Shit,” Tom said, laughing at me. That’s how I found out I was talking my thoughts out loud.
“Shut up, you shit,” I parroted at him.
“I told you never to frequent any of my bars,” Jigo to Tom in a tone like he was talking about the weather. Except it also sounded like a threat.
“Jigo, we were in a fucking wedding. There is no other bar closer but yours. And I have a room here, too.”
“You’re checked out. You’re rooming somewhere else, Tom, so stay out and I wouldn’t fucking care. But if I just hear anything from the other owners about your creepy ass, I’m going after you. Do we understand each other?”
I snickered. I was going to say ‘told you’ but I heard no protest from Tom. I turned to look, but I swayed and then Jigo’s muscular arms were suddenly around me, and I melted over him like jelly, my face planted on his chest.
Oh… he smelled so nice.
I realized that Tom had left—I somehow missed that. I wanted to thank Jigo. “Jigo...?” I started, but the delicious feeling of being in his firm grip distracted me. Security. I was safe in his arms from the Toms of the world. His hand was gentle as he rubbed my back. Yes, he was rubbing my back… and it actually felt good. And he was looking down at my face, checking how I was.
“Where are her purse and shawl?” I heard him ask. “Fae? Let’s get you out of here,” he then told me. There was a lingering of irritation in his face because of Tom.
“Hmm?” Oh, my shawl. My… purse. I did have those. What happened to them? “They were just here...” And I was staring at him. There were two Jigos that I could see. “Why’re you two? Oh yeah.. I’m kind of drunk. Makes sense…” Fortunately, he was such an eye candy, so I guessed it was okay to have more candies for the eyes to see.
He was suddenly grinning, albeit reluctantly. And I knew I was thinking loudly again. I should be ashamed to be acting like this in front of him, but I wasn’t. There was no doubt I would regret this in the morning, so I might as well tell him what I wanted to say right now.
“You’re here. You’re... you’ve come for me. You’ve been… looking out for me.”
He sighed. “Yes, I am.”
Tears heated my eyes up. “But you’re not... who I want.”
His face sobered up. “I know that, too, Fae. Did you think Carl isn’t worried about you? Or Grandma Leah? Our friends at the reception? Or I?”
“Thank you... Carl’s friend...” And I sniffed. “But I can’t help it... I hurt so much...”
His face softened. “You’re heartbroken and drunk, kid. Let me get you upstairs. Can you walk?”
I rested my forehead on his elegant, wide shoulders. My lips trembled. I felt bad, suddenly, for crying on him. But I didn’t want to cry. That’s why I drank alcohol to forget.
But how could I forget today that easily? How could they do this to me?
“Jigo... I’ve lost... Carl,” I told him in a tremulous voice. “I’ve lost him completely now.” There, I said it out loud. It was official.
When he spoke, his voice was even gentler, as if I was a small child he was trying to comfort. “I know... I’m so sorry, Fae. C’mon, let’s get you out of here.” And he was holding my shawl and my purse. Obtained from somewhere like magic. And it didn’t surprise me. Jigo could do anything, could accomplish anything. That was why he terrified me. I could like him as easily—more easily—that when I fell for Carl. And it could happen just like that, and I would be helpless. I couldn’t do this heartbreaking thing twice, you know. Who would even want that?
“Billie,” he said to the bartender. “I’m leaving with her. Take care of the other one in case he comes back.”
“Yes, boss. Easy.”
“But I’m not… finished here,” I protested, not wanting to leave now that I was with someone I could actually be with.
“Fae... you can barely sit straight,” he said near my ear.
“I’m finished... when I’m... done. When I can’t… I can’t think about him anymore, Jigo…” And that again. My eyes started leaking again. “I hate this.”
“If you want to drink, I’ll drink with you, okay?” he suddenly said. “But not here. Let me bring you somewhere where I can take care of you. Let’s go.”
I looked up at him and drowned in his sympathetic eyes. He had beautiful eyes. Beautifully shaped, with thick and silky eyelashes. I only noticed it now. Only now did I get this close, numbed like this, that he couldn’t overwhelm me even if he tried.
I could see him.
And he felt sorry for me. Now, at this moment, he felt so sorry for me and wasn’t hiding it. But it surprised me to see such feelings on his face.
Even if it was pity for me, it was okay. Of everyone, he was the one here next to me. He made time for me.
Well, he did own this hotel. But still, he chose to be here with me.
And for that, even if I didn’t want anyone’s pity, his was okay. It was distracting me from the agony that was crimping my heart and making it difficult for me to breathe.