Don't call me that
Ashley
"Hey, I'm sorry about that," Ashlyn said, looking worried. "Maybe something happened at the company, and that's why he's acting like that," she added, staring at me while I couldn't figure out where to look because of guilt. Didn't she hear what Marco said? I'm really nervous that she might sense something going on between me and her husband.
"It's fine," I replied softly. "Can you leave me alone for a while?"
"Please, don't be mad at Marco. It's not that he doesn't want you living here; he just wants some alone time with me. And I'm sorry, too. It looks like he's taking out his frustrations on you because I've been away."
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.
"We argued earlier when I told him I was leaving town. He got angry because I'm always away, and he said that maybe I insisted you live here to cover up for my absence." I couldn't say anything after that. Although Marco confronted me because of Lance, I never thought he would say such a thing to Ashlyn.
"I don't get it… cover up how?" I asked, trying to understand.
"You know, we have the same face. He thinks that maybe I thought he wouldn't miss me much because you're here instead," she explained. What? How was I supposed to feel about that? It's like I'm just a replacement.
"I don't think Marco would ever think that," I said, still in disbelief.
"Oh, just let it go," she sighed. "Please don't worry about it, and remember, I'm not asking you to leave, okay?"
"But your husband is already mad."
"That's fine. He's only upset right now. That's why I always give in to him when he asks for… you know, I don't want him to think I'm depriving him of his needs as a man. Who knows, maybe soon I'll get pregnant." I forced a bitter smile and said,
"Okay, I know you need to rest, too. I'll get back to my work since I have a deadline," I said just to end our conversation. Not for anything; I just want to be alone.
"Alright, sis," my twin replied, smiling as she hugged me tightly before finally leaving my room.
I sat down on my bed. Is what she said true? But Marco told me he loves me. What if Ashlyn does get pregnant? What will I do, especially since she says they've been together more often now?
Knowing Marco tries to stop Ashlyn from going on trips hurts, but maybe it's better. At least it might lessen our wrongdoings. But why does it still hurt so much?
Is this really what love does? Does it make you blind to what's right and wrong? Even though I know I'm hurting someone, I continue doing what I know is wrong.
I decided to write instead because thinking too much wouldn't help. It only makes the pain worse.
Time passed without me noticing, and I had written quite a lot when I got a message.
"Are you free to chat?" I smiled because it was from Lyanna, a fellow writer I had met through our editor's group chat.
"Hi, yes, I'm free right now."
"Thank goodness! I need someone to talk to. I'm so annoyed right now."
"What happened?" I asked.
"There's this writer friend, and she suddenly disappeared from social media. I haven't heard from her at all."
"And why is that bothering you?"
"Some other authors are bashing her because she's making a lot of money now. I just can't help but feel annoyed because she can't even defend herself."
"Maybe she's just busy," I suggested.
"I hope so. I just wish she'd come back or at least let us know she's okay."
I was about to reply when she messaged again.
"Your writing style is similar to hers. And honestly, because we writers are so discreet and never show our faces, who knows? Maybe we passed each other on the street without knowing it."
I understood where she was coming from. Like many writers, I never showed my face or posted pictures anywhere. I was too shy. We talked about a few more things, and thanks to her, my mind felt refreshed for a while until we said our goodbyes.
The next morning, I felt awkward joining the couple for breakfast. But Ashlyn called me, so I went down, even though I wasn’t ready to face them. I mean, after what my twin told me yesterday, I didn’t know if I should believe Marco or what.
“Sis, come on! Fe’s cooking is delicious,” Ashlyn said cheerfully, making me smile. She always had this way of brightening up the mood. Her cheerful nature was contagious, affecting anyone around her.
“Fe's cooking is always delicious,” I replied, pulling a chair. I noticed Marco watching me as my sister served herself some rice.
“Anyway, Marco has something to tell you,” Ashlyn said, causing me to suddenly look at him. I was just about to get some rice, too.
“I’m sorry, Ashley. I won’t shout like that again. Your twin and I just had a misunderstanding,” Marco said. So, what Ashlyn told me was true? It felt like I was just a stand-in for her. I couldn’t even call it a rebound because my twin was still around.
I was hurt seeing how sweet they were with each other, but I stayed and endured it. I didn’t want Ashlyn to think I was being too affected, even though I could easily say I felt uncomfortable. Honestly, I wouldn’t even care if they kissed right before me—if nothing had ever happened between Marco and me. I mean, that’s how it is with siblings, right? Do you just not care what your brother or in-law does?
I had to endure their sweet moments again the whole week because Ashlyn never left the house. When they weren’t in front of me, they were in their room, and even though I didn’t want to think about it, I could already guess what they were doing. I locked myself in my room, either quietly writing or crying. I couldn’t help it—I was hurt.
On Tuesday, I thought Marco had already left for work. But when I stepped out of my room and passed by his study, the door was slightly open, and I could hear my sister moaning.
“Ahh, Marco, yes… Do it harder, please…” I froze in place, unsure if I should leave or what.
“Ash, is this what you want?” Marco’s voice sounded intense.
“Yes, Marco, faster… Ahh… don’t pull out, finish inside. Oh, Marco, it feels so good…” I couldn’t take it anymore, so I quickly rushed back to my room, pacing back and forth until I decided to leave.
As I passed Marco’s study again, they both came out, and Marco’s arm draped around my sister. He looked startled when he saw me, while Ashlyn greeted me cheerfully.
“Hi, sis, are you going somewhere?” my twin asked.
“Huh?” I answered, a bit surprised. “Yeah, I just need to buy something,” I replied with a forced smile.
“Oh, okay. Be careful, okay? Do you want to ride with Marco? He’s about to leave for work,” she offered, making me feel embarrassed. Of course, I turned it down.
“No need, it’s close by. I already booked a Grab.”
“Is that so?” Ashlyn replied before turning to her husband. “Marco, are you leaving soon?”
“You know I have to,” Marco replied.
“Okay, I’ll head downstairs now,” I said quickly, leaving them. I didn’t want to watch them kiss in front of me again—it would only hurt me more. Once downstairs, I hurriedly grabbed my phone and booked a Grab. I didn’t have anywhere to go, so I decided to head to a café and text Lance to meet up. That seemed like a good plan.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” Marco asked when he found me on the porch. I glanced in the direction he came from, checking if his wife was following.
“She’s upstairs,” Marco said, as if reading my thoughts. “She’s taking a shower and didn’t come down.”
“No, I’ll wait for the Grab,” I replied coldly.
“Sweetheart…” Marco’s voice grated on my nerves.
“Don’t call me that,” I whispered angrily.
“Why not?”
“Do you need to ask?” I snapped back, feeling my anger rise.
“Please, it’s not what you think.”
“I’m not deaf, Marco. I heard you asking if that’s what she wanted.”
“Sweetheart…” he said again, but the Grab arrived in front of the house just then. I quickly left before my tears could fall.