As soon as Julie tells me the story, I start to feel bad. I had never thought that Chris had been through this.
Now I understand a little bit the way I met him that day at the airport.
...
I return home and remember that we have no sugar.
I head towards the elevator to go to the supermarket on the corner.
"Hold it!"
I hear it just as I press the button to get off the elevator. It's him. His greeting is as calm as ever:
"Molly."
I reply in the same tone:
"Chris."
We always greet each other this way, vaguely and without much expectation. But this time, the fact that I know everything that happened to him makes me a little more sympathetic to the fact that sometimes he acts like a jerk.
I can't believe I'm thinking this, but I am.
Alanis Morissette starts singing "That I Would Be Good."
Chris stares at me while the music from my ring tone fills the silence in the elevator.
I look at him and question:
"What is it? Why are you laughing?"
"I'm not laughing. I think this song is fantastic."
He has a smile that makes me want to smile too.
I answer the phone.
" Hi, Colin?"
I look at Chris again, I've never seen him smile like that before, but as soon as I start talking to Colin, he doesn't have that smile anymore.
As soon as the elevator opens, he leaves as fast as if I wasn't even there with him. Figure that face.
.... Chris...
" So Chris, are we or are we not really sexy?"
I pretend not to hear what she says, but Julie insists:
"Come on, Chris, take a break from this damn game and look!"
I hit pause on the video game just as I was about to kill that zombie and give my best boredom performance and look at the stairs where the two of them are standing under Molly's protests.
And as soon as I lay my eyes on that girl, I felt my body boil, I've seen my sister wearing that dress before, but it didn't look nearly as good on her.
Although the day Julie wore it, I made her change before we even left. Of course, she was much younger.
That damn dress looks like it was made for Molly's body because every inch of it perfectly aligns with those curves and what curves.
I quickly turn around and focus on the game before me, praying that they haven't noticed anything different about me. Julie asks:
"What's up? Aren't you going to say anything?"
Even though I paused the game, I still got the focus on the TV in front of me.
"You girls are OK. I don't know, whatever."
They fall for this "I don't give a shit what I saw" and walk down the stairs to the door, and I try not to look at Molly. But she walks inches from where I am, and my eyes betray me. Julie turns just as I am mesmerized by those legs, and my eyes only go up.
Julie says to bring me back to reality:
"We're going to that bar. Maybe you'll come with us."
And she gives me that look that practically says: "I saw what you were doing, don't do it anymore," she winks at me, and they walk out the door.
I'm going to shower because now I can't concentrate on this damn game anymore. It's impossible to get the image of that dress on that body out of my mind.
...
"Man, at least disguise it, I don't know."
"What are you talking about, Adan?
"What are you talking about, Adan? Do I need to tell you?"
I look at him and challenge him.
"You've been eyeballing your sister's friend for about ten minutes."
"No, I'm not!"
"Yes, you are. And you know what, she also stares at you as soon as you look away."
"Does she?"
I ask with such animation that even I am surprised.
"Of course, she doesn't! But you should see how excited you've gotten."
And he laughs.
...
Some girls have just approached us and are talking to us. One of them immediately makes it evident that she doesn't want to waste time talking to me, and before I know it, we are already enjoying the night right here.
...
"You know what, Adan? I think we'd better go somewhere else."
I take the last of my drink and get up from the chair. Before I left, I looked at Molly again, but now I know she was looking at me because I saw her.
... Molly....
Some of Brennan's friends come over to talk while we drink a few drinks. I don't know how Julie convinced me to go with her today. Just today that neither Colin nor Brennan are here with us.
The only one who showed up at the bar sometime later was Chris, and I am looking at him now because he had no better place to be than in front of us. I guess he is one of those protective brothers.
And looking at him reminds me of the day I picked Chris up at the airport, and he said all this stuff about Colin always traveling and leaving me here and that this and the lack of sex made me nervous.
My anger builds. I am already staring at Chris from across the bar, and he is hugging a girl, not embracing her. He is almost molesting the poor woman in the middle of everyone here.
And nobody but me seems to care, not even that guy with him.
Then I realize that it bothers me in a way it shouldn't. I close my eyes. I close my eyes.
"Damn it!"
"What's wrong, Molly?"
Julie looks at me, startled. I didn't realize I had said it out loud, so I did my best to cover it up with a smile.
"I think I forgot the microwave plugged in."
They laugh and continue the conversation. After a while, Brennan's friends leave and go to order more drinks.