It was terrible that I had to say goodbye to Chris just now that we understood each other and finally confessed our feelings for each other. It was liberating, and I should have done it sooner.
I park Julie's car in the garage and head towards the elevator, and I am a little nervous because I have decided to tell her what is between her brother and me. I don't know how she will react, and it makes me extremely tense with every step I take toward her apartment.
I meet Chantal and Ronan, her new boyfriend, and say:
''You finally remembered you live here?''
She laughs and says:
'' Look who's in a good mood today. You look like you finally got laid.''
I roll my eyes, and they walk away, laughing towards the stairs. I take a deep breath and head for Julie's apartment door, which for a change, has the door unlocked. I walk in, and she turns to me smiling and asks:
''Are you back yet?''
I can only answer:
''Yeah, I just got here.''
She says:
''Great. Thanks a lot, friend.''
She goes back to the juice she seemed to be noticing, and I approach the countertop that separates the kitchen from the living room and say:
''Julie, I need to talk to you.''
She doesn't even look at me as she tastes if the juice has enough sugar in it and says:
''Speak up.''
I take a deep breath, and I don't know if I like that she's not making a big deal out of what I'm about to say or if I think it's worse that she's going to be scared or even angry with me because I broke her friends' code of not being interested in their siblings. I close my eyes and say at once:
''I've been hanging out with Chris. ''
She stops what she is doing and looks at me, and I am preparing myself so that she will never speak to me again. I know I will suffer and do everything to make her forgive me and...
She interrupts me by saying:
''And how are you two now?''
What? Did she ask me that? No reaction at all to what I said before?
She still looks at me, waiting for an answer, and I say:
''. We talked, and we are fine.''
She smiles and says:
'' Great.''
I am still in disbelief when I see Brennan come downstairs and ask Julie to make him a sandwich. He sees me and says hi, I look at him and Julie several times, and she rolls her eyes, saying:
''Oh, come on, Molly? Everybody knows that you and my brother were making out.''
''What?''
She sees my astonished face and says to Brennan:
''Isn't that right, love?''
He shakes his head affirmatively and says:
''That night at the bar.''
I am so embarrassed right now, so Julie comes over and hugs me laughing, and I end up laughing too. Then I say:
'' I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.''
She says:
''That's okay, Molly. You don't have to apologize for that.''
I say:
'' I thought you would hate it because I broke the friend code.''
She laughs and says:
'' Silly What code? You're all grown up, and I like you together. The two of you are less annoying.''
I end up laughing and say:
'' You mean this story about Brennan being sick was a lie?''
He laughs, and Julie says:
''I had to find a way for you to talk to each other. No one could stand you two almost crying all the time in front of us anymore.''
Brennan laughs even more complex and says:
''True.''
I can only say:
''Thank you.''
She smiles and hands me a glass and pours me orange juice while saying:
''You're welcome. Chris will be back soon, and it's just a few days.''
I sip my juice and smile at the thought that he'll be back to me soon. Julie invites me to stay and watch a movie with the two of them. After all, Chantal is not at home, and now I feel even more at home here, if that is possible. My heart isn't heavy anymore, I have to wait for my best friend's brother to come back, and I can't wait for that to happen.
... Epilogue...
''Okay. Kisses, kisses. I miss you so much.''
Chris smiles from the other side of my laptop screen, and I want to run to him now and bite that smile for one long kiss. But he is still in New York. He says:
'' I miss you too, my beautiful.''
I almost melt when he says these things, I've always thought it was a bit mushy, but when he says it to me, I'm like a fool and want him to say more, to say it all the time. To love Chris is good. To know that he loves me back is even better. I say goodbye and leave my room. He said he would be back by the weekend, and my anxiety only increased, it has been a month and a few days since he traveled, and even though we have spoken constantly, I still miss him.
Chris commented the other day that he left his room like that and asked me if I could come over and check it out. I don't know if Julie has had much time to clean it out, it has been the end of the semester, and we have been very busy with college papers and exams.
I told him I would pick one day a week to do this, and I even told him yesterday that I would do it today, so in the afternoon, I would look around to see if I needed to clean anything. I like this, and it makes me realize even more that there is only a short time left before he returns to stay with me. Even though it may not be for many days, I still like it.