I'm thinking again about what we did. Chris will now be bragging about having the one thing I could deny him. How could I have been so stupid as to allow this?
But I also think about how he made this morning one of the best of my life in recent times.
I am so confused now that when he comes out of the bathroom, I instantly turn towards him, and oh my God, I really shouldn't have done that.
And now I'm staring at him naked, as my eyes go down and stop at a particular part. My eyes betray me and stay there for far too long. I didn't have much time to appreciate it before, but now I can see why he has such a big ego. There is an excellent reason for this, and what a sense.
When I finally look into his face again, I think he realizes what I was doing and has a smile on the corner of his mouth.
I stand up and walk towards the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I don't want Chris to tell me that he finally got what he wanted, dressed, and left.
And I don't care if he's confused out there. Maybe he isn't, and perhaps he's just boasting that he got me into my bed. Damn it!
I take an unhurried shower, and maybe he has realized that this is a cue for him to go home while I suffer for having allowed myself to have sex with him.
I dry off, wrap myself in my towel, open the bathroom door, and find Chris sleeping peacefully in my bed.
I swear I didn't expect that.
... Chris...
I swear I won't forgive myself if she regrets what happened. She has been staring at nothing for a long time and says nothing. Unlike before, she moaned and even said my name a few times.
I won't say anything to confuse her, and I know that she is weighing everything in her mind. I wish she wouldn't do this, but I have found that with Molly, all I need is time and patience so that I will adhere to that.
I go into the bathroom to give her a break, hoping she doesn't kick me out when I leave because I don't want her to do that. I want to stay with her and tell her that I won't do anything Colin has done to hurt her, but I think it's better to wait.
I like it when she stares at me when I come out of the bathroom. That was one of the reasons that caught my attention the most about her, and she can't pretend that she finds me attractive, but she loves to deny it, especially when I can't resist and end up laughing.
She ran to the bathroom when I left, and maybe it was time for me to go home and try to talk to her later.
I grab my pants and get dressed, sitting on her bed, but I am too sleepy from not getting the best night's sleep, and it is her fault. Maybe she will take her time in the shower and give me time to get some sleep.
...
''Hey, Chris.''
I open my eyes to find Molly shaking me and saying:
''Julie is here!''
I sit up in bed, still half drowsy and wondering:
''What?''
''Your sister is here!''
''And what about her?''
''What do you mean? How will I explain to her that you were here with me?''
I'm still a little confused and question:
''So do you want...?''
''That you don't do what you always do.''
I end up laughing and ask:
'' Which would be?''
''To find a way out and make me embarrassed.''
I laugh even more complexly.
''So please don't leave before she leaves.''
She almost begs, and I give in:
''Okay. I'm not leaving.''
She doesn't look confident but says:
''Fine, I'll go back to the room.''
But she still looks at me suspiciously. I wish she didn't feel that way about me, but I know I worked too hard to make her see me that way, and now I can't blame her.
I hear Julie's voice, and I sit in bed for a while. I look around her room, and I can't tell much more about her personality than I already know just by looking around.
She has everything organized, and I wouldn't think otherwise, but otherwise, all a mystery, a mystery that I would love to unravel.
I still can't believe she was with me, and I can't quite believe what we did. I look like a fool.
Where is the guy who said he would never love another woman in his life?
I pick up her pillow and bring it up to my face. It still has her perfume on it and...
''Chris?''
When I pull the pillow away from my face, she stares at me in surprise.
It would be a good time to die right now.
.... Molly...
I stand there for a while, mentally wondering if I am seeing what I think.
Is Chris having my pillow buried in his face?
I stare at him for a few seconds.
I realize that I am in no position to say anything because he has already caught me doing the same.
So I say:
''Julie's gone. You can leave now.''
He stands up, and I could swear that in his eyes that he is grateful that I did not mention the fact that I had occurred earlier.
...
We are in the living room, there is still this strange atmosphere, and it doesn't help to keep looking at him and remembering his body without any clothes on.
I am still afraid that at any moment, he will throw it in my face that he got what he wanted and start smiling.
But he walks to the door.
I say, kind of on impulse:
''Thank you.''