Chapter 15: ELECTROCUTION

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

ASPEN

I was going to get electrocuted. Since we couldn't go into the training room where the electric chair was because we’d be punished for it, as it was against the law of the school, we waited until everyone had gone to sleep before we sneaked into the room.

I'd been on edge throughout the day, wondering if I had made the right decision. I wasn't sure if I did the right thing or not. I just hoped I did, because if I didn’t, I had ultimately chosen my own death sentence.

It didn't help that throughout the waiting time, Ronan had tried to make me back out of my plan.

“I don't think you should do something that reckless. So what if you're human? Does it change the fact that you're you?” he had said the moment Rachel went back to her room.

She planned to steal the key from her father's office before the time we'd go to the room.

“I just want to know who I am,” I said, not taking my mind off the note I was writing.

He paced the room, acting like a human stressed about the surgery of their child. “You could die, Aspen. You could fucking die,” he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in anger.

“I know. I don't care. I'd rather die knowing who I am now than die later, when the truth about me comes out, without knowing who I am. I'll have no regrets.”

One of the reasons I was also taking the test was because I knew that sooner or later, people would find out who I was, and when they did, they'd kill me. I didn't want to die without finding out who I was, so I needed to do that now, because heaven knows how soon the truth about my identity would come out.

“So this is why you're doing this? Because you're afraid that you'll be killed soon, so you just want to do it yourself now?”

I knew explaining to him was useless. No matter what I said, he would still think I was making the wrong decision, so I ignored him, focusing on the letter I was writing.

It wasn't a farewell letter or anything like that. It was a letter I was writing about the little events I could remember that could help me know who I was.

I was also trying so hard to recall anything about my past and write it down, no matter how little. I once read somewhere that writing helps the brain work faster, so I was hoping that as I wrote one part, it would make the other parts come faster.

“I'm talking to you, Aspen. You're not going to do it. If you don't care about your life, I do, and I don't want you to waste it over something so fucking stupid.”

Again, I ignored his words. There was no point saying anything about it to him. I had already made up my mind that I was going to do it, so what was the point of continuing to argue when I could just take action?

“Please, Aspen. You'll die if you're not one of us.”

The desperation in his voice told me one thing for sure. Even though the truth wasn't confirmed yet, Ronan already believed I wasn't one of them. He believed that if I got electrocuted, I was going to lose my life.

And it aggravated me so much. Why couldn't he believe me? Why couldn't he have faith in me? He was my mate, and yet, he couldn't trust me enough to make my own decision.

Why would the moon goddess mate me to somebody like him? We were completely two different people, two sides of the coin.

More than ever, I missed Adrian. No matter how big my dreams seemed to be, he always supported me. No matter how dangerous my plan was, he was always right at my back, ready to jump into the chaos with me.

He didn't care about anything. He didn't give two shits about the rules and what it would cost me. He simply jumped in with me, knowing that even if I perished, he would be right there with me, and we'd do it together.

But this mate? My second chance mate that was meant to be much better, more supportive, and more loving, according to all the werewolf books I'd read about second chance mates, was always making me feel stupid and second-guessing my every decision.

“Why do you care so much? Why are you so aggravated by my death? It's not like you care about me or something. Hell, you don't even plan to accept me as your mate!” I yelled, flinging the notebook I was writing in toward him.

It hit him on the face, but he didn't even flinch. He simply stared at me, his gaze dark and cold.

“You are my mate, my fucking mate. Even if I don't plan to accept you, it doesn't mean I would wish you death or see you walking into your own death and keep silent about it. It is my duty as your mate to look after you,” he said slowly, his voice so icy that a shiver ran down my spine.

“No,” I stood my ground. “Looking after me is not your duty. You have no business with me. Rachel is the one you should look after and protect. The only one who has the right to look after me is Adrian, and since he's dead, I'll look after my fucking self,” I hissed.

The last sentence I made was coming from a place of pure bitterness. Bitterness at the fact that even if he pretended to look after me, to watch me, and to care about me, he'd still choose Rachel.

He was meant to be my second chance at having a happily ever after, but he was already having it with another woman, and I wasn't even in the picture.

“I'm going to do it, and there's nothing you can do about it. You have no right to try to stop me. And if you can't be a basic decent person and hold my hand through this difficult time of my life, then maybe, just maybe, the moon goddess was protecting me from you by making you unavailable to me.” I stormed out of the room without looking back, angrily wiping the tears that had fallen off my face.