I look at X’s face, confused. I don’t understand what he’s doing there, and I made it clear that we had nothing else to talk about.
— We are going to visit your friends at Lac Rose.- remember X noticing my confusion with his presence there. — Forgot that we had agreed?
— I did not forget. Only I... - I start to say when I notice that he is still very serious.
—I wait for you downstairs. - interrupts X moving away.
I close the door and lean against it. Honestly, after all that was said, I could never imagine that he would remember and keep the commitment. I take a quick shower, while I try to keep as much control as possible. Ten minutes later we are all going to the village. Richard looks at me from the corner, no doubt he noticed that X and I are distant, but I don’t want to give room for explanations, so I spend most of my time looking at the road landscape.
We arrive in the village and are welcomed by Leo, who is very cheerful. She hugs us, smiling.
—Welcome. - says Leo to X .— Come, you have a lot to know.
X walks alongside Leonor as I walk behind, trying to control my emotions and pretend that nothing had happened. We spent most of the day seeing the foundations of the school, the health center and playing with the children, as much as I don’t want to admit, X has a way with children. He was attentive to everyone, who loved to run their hands through his hair. Lucky children, I think as I watch X smile with his little hands exploring her hair.
—Come to lunch! - shouts Estevão, waving to us.
I walk towards the table's mounted, when I feel my arm being pulled. I turn, almost giving face to face with X. His breath, so close, irritates me. Why is he teasing me, if in the end he will hurt me?
—We need to talk...
—Now we have to have lunch. - I say, letting go of her hand.
I reach the table where the village chief, Leo, is, Estevão and the expedition staff. We have a huge platter with rice in a bed of boiled vegetables and fish. All take with their hands on the same platter, a typical lunch of them. Corner eyes to see if X would make a disgust face and grab a spoon or eat with his hands. But he doesn’t mind, takes a little with his hand and puts it in his mouth, then he gives a slight smile, damn it he realized. I put some food in my mouth and all I feel is hot. The dish is spicy, very spicy. I can’t make a fuss, since it’s an honor to be able to eat with the village chief, so I take some water and drink.
I spend lunch, silent, I’m not really at the table, but thinking about what more X would have to tell me… how much more he can hurt me… how many times he will break my heart…
It was almost the end of the afternoon when we said goodbye to the staff and returned to the road. Richard took us home, because Aidê and two friends of theirs were leaving home. As soon as we arrived, they were already waiting to take everyone to the airport.
— If it’s no bother, could you take me to my hotel? - question X.
—No doubt. Just sit there on the couch and wait for the staff to finish packing. - explains Richard.
I take a deep breath and turn towards my room, then again my arm is held, but this time harder. I turn and X faces me, really.
— We need to finish our conversation yesterday, since once again you ran away and gave me no right to answer.- says X. He touches my chin, approaching my face. — I’ll come back later and have dinner.
Her eyes penetrate into mine… I feel my mouth getting dry and more and more when I look at her lips so close… our breaths are rhythmic...
— See you... – whisper, joining all my strength to get away from him.
I close the door to my room and lie on the bed. Do I have the strength to have another dinner with him?