Chapter 67: I Don't Want You Kissing Him - Riven's POV

I staggered back as if she had hit me. One hand flew to my head as I sucked in a sharp breath.

Callista crossed the space between us, not letting me retreat.

“Riven.”

My eyes met hers, and panic flooded my veins. Her throat visibly bobbed as she grabbed my shirt.

“I tried to stop him. I—” My words fell flat. There was no excuse for what had just happened. “He was—”

“I know,” she whispered. “You tried. I saw you fighting him and knew that you didn’t let him do anything.”

Though her words were true, fear still clung to me. That was…too close. The thought echoed in my head like a warning I couldn’t shake.

I dropped my hand and reached out to grip her tightly. Part of me feared that if I let go, even for a second, ‌something inside of me would slip again. I didn’t want to slip away like that.

“I almost lost it,” I admitted, my voice low and rough. “Did you see how easily he pushed through? That wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”

Callista didn’t pull away. If anything, she stepped closer, pressing her body against mine as she wrapped her arms around me.

“You didn’t lose anything,” she said firmly. “You fought him and you’re here.”

I wasn’t sure if she was stunned or just not wanting to be in reality. This was dangerous.

“For how long?” I challenged, a bitter edge creeping into my tone. “A few seconds? A minute? That’s not control, Callista. That’s him playing with me. He could have done anything to you while in the driver’s seat of my body.”

Her brow knitted together. “That’s not what it looked like from where I was standing. You were pushing back and wouldn’t let him do anything.”

A humorless laugh left me. “Of course it didn’t. He’s good at that. He lets you see just enough to believe I’m winning. But I was, in fact, not winning.”

My chest felt too tight, like something was pressing inward and clawing at the inside of my ribs. He wanted to surface again, and he could if he really wanted to. My eyes darted down to the top of her head.

He…wanted to kiss her.

I turned away from her, dragging a hand down my face.

“You shouldn’t be near me when that happens,” I muttered. “If I hurt you—”

“You won’t and never would.”

The certainty in her voice made me freeze.

I glanced down at her, still reeling that she was trusting me so completely when she shouldn’t. “You don’t know that.”

“I do,” she shot back, stepping into my space again. “Because you told me to run.”

My jaw clenched.

“That was instinct,” I said, my voice tight. “That doesn’t mean I'll be able to stop it next time. He let you hear that, so you’ll choose to stay with me.”

“Or,” she countered, her voice softer now, “it means you’re stronger than you think.”

I shook my head immediately. “No, you didn’t feel what I did. It’s like—” I stopped, searching for the right words, but nothing felt right at the moment.

Nothing explained what I had just gone through appropriately.

“Like what?”

“It was like seeing everything that happened, yet I couldn’t…do anything. Even if I screamed and begged, my mouth and body didn’t do what I was telling it to,” I said, my voice dropping. My hands slowly left her, curling into fists at my sides. “And do you want to know the worst part?”

She didn’t answer me and instead just looked up at me as she clung to me.

“He knows everything I think,” I continued. “He hears every doubt, every fear, and every—" I cut myself off as my jaw ticked.

“Every what?” She pressed quietly.

I looked away again. There was no way I wanted to talk about it, but I knew she would push.

“Every weakness,” I finished, then looked down at her again. “He knows what I want in life with you.”

Silence fell between us. Then she spoke.

“Good,” she whispered.

My head snapped back toward her. “Good?”

Her expression didn’t waver. “Yeah. Good.”

“That’s not…Callista, that’s not a good thing,” I said, trying not to lose myself to the panic. “You don’t know how badly he wants to be in charge. He even wants to—”

“It is,” she insisted, stepping closer again. “That means he also knows you’re going to fight him. He knows you hate him and that you don’t want him to hurt me.”

My chest tightened at that.

“You are right about him not wanting to hurt you. At least for the moment,” I said, looking away again.

Her eyes focused on my face. “So, eventually he will?”

I hesitated. Every instinct in me screamed not to say it. I needed to keep it buried and pretend I hadn’t felt it. But that was probably how he would win, because she wouldn’t be aware.

“He wants…” My jaw tightened as I forced the words out. “He wants to touch you.”

Callista went still, but didn’t step back. She just watched my face, trying to make sense of my words. “Touch me how?”

My chest constricted. This was harder than I thought. “You already know.”

Her throat bobbed again, but she didn’t look away.

“He wanted to kiss you as I have,” I admitted. “He wants everything with you as mates, even if it means hijacking my body to get it.”

The words felt like poison leaving my mouth, but I forced myself to keep going.

“It isn’t to scare you or mess with you,” I whispered as my throat tightened. “He wants it and I can feel it. It’s no different from my own thoughts.”

Callista’s grip around me tightened.

“And that’s why you turned away,” she breathed.

I nodded sharply once .

“If I hadn’t…” I exhaled harshly. “I don’t know if I would’ve been able to stop it in time and you would have kissed him. Well, you would have kissed me with him in control.”

Something in her expression shifted then, not in fear, but something deeper.

“It’s still you,” she said slowly. “All I see is your face.”

“I know that,” I snapped harshly, not meaning to. Then I dragged a hand through my hair, forcing myself to calm down. “Yes, I know all you see is my face, and to you, it’s me. It’ll feel like me, but it’s not.”

I looked down at her again, my chest tight.

“He doesn’t just see my thoughts, Callista. He twists them, takes something and…pushes it further, until I can’t tell where the line is anymore.”

Her eyes softened slightly. “But it’s you kissing me.”

“No, it’s him and I don’t want you kissing him.”