Chapter 109: Something I Didn't Want - Callista's POV

His breath slowed against me, but it still wasn’t steady, like his body hadn’t decided if it was allowed to relax yet. I lifted my hand, brushing my fingers along his cheek, grounding him the only way I knew how.

“Let’s lay down, okay?”

For a second, I thought he might argue. I felt the hesitation flicker through the bond, that instinct to stay alert, to stay ready, and to keep distance even when he didn’t want it.

But then he nodded.

We shifted together, slower this time, easing down onto the bed instead of collapsing into it. I stayed close, letting my arm rest lightly against him as we settled, trying not to force anything.

My touch didn’t immediately calm him, but I could feel the difference. The edge wasn’t as sharp. The chaos wasn’t as loud.

“You always do this,” he murmured after a moment. “You take something broken and decide there’s more to it than what’s in front of you.”

I huffed softly. “Someone has to. You need me as much as I need you.”

His hand shifted slightly against the mattress, as if he was debating whether to reach for me again or keep a small space between us. The bond pulsed faintly with it, mirroring his indecision.

“You don’t have to fix me,” he hissed. “It shouldn’t be like this.”

“I’m not trying to fix you,” I replied just as softly. “I’m trying to understand you. The Moon Goddess put us together, Riven. She doesn’t make mistakes.”

“That’s worse,” he muttered. “What if she got it wrong? What if fate paired the wrong two people? You probably should be with someone like Marcus or any of the others I fought.”

I turned my head slightly, studying him in the dim light. “Two questions. How is it wrong? And why would you dare bring them up?”

“If you heard everything he says, and knew how bad it could get, then you would run while you still can.”

“And if I did, if the day comes that you lost yourself, you’d hunt me,” I said reluctantly. “Maybe that’s what triggered it in the dream. You didn’t have me by your side.”

He growled low under his breath. “We don’t know that.”

“No,” I agreed quietly, my gaze not leaving his. “But we don’t know that leaving fixes it either. All it did last time was break both of us in different ways.”

His jaw tightened at that, the muscle ticking as he looked away for a second, as if he couldn’t quite hold my gaze when it came to that part.

“I thought it would protect you,” he said after a moment, his voice rougher now. “You’ve heard my thoughts on it several times now.”

“And look at where that got us,” I said, my voice barely audible.

“It almost killed you.”

There was an ache deep in my chest that I couldn’t explain. I wasn’t sure if it came from somewhere within me or if it was him. So, instead of keeping more distance, I shifted closer to him, closing that small space he kept trying to maintain. I was tired of pretending it helped.

“Distance kills me, even now,” I admitted, closing my eyes as I inhaled his scent. “You are my mate, Riven.”

His head snapped back toward me, his arm tightening instinctively at my back. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true,” I said, not backing down this time. “You feel it. My wolf is barely holding on. I wasn’t exaggerating earlier. So, hold me and in six weeks, we’ll finally have our ceremony.”

His grip tightened again, just enough to make it clear he didn’t like hearing it. “But the danger—”

“Will always be there no matter what we choose,” I growled as I snuggled closer. “Please, let’s drop it for tonight. I’m tired of going around the same mountain over and over again.”

For a moment, I thought he might argue again. I felt it rising within him, that instinct to push back and fight, but it lessened as the seconds passed. The bond tightened with it, almost suffocating me for a second.

“Fine,” he said softly, his grip on me shifting.

I let out a low breath, almost chuckling. My body eased just a fraction against his. The tension wasn’t gone and I knew it wouldn’t be until he was free of the demon, but it had stopped clawing at the edges of everything.

“Thank you,” I murmured, my voice softer now.

He didn’t respond to that, but his hand moved again along my back, slower this time, steadier.  We shifted slightly without speaking, adjusting until it didn’t feel like we were balancing on something fragile anymore. I tucked myself closer against him, my head resting just beneath his chin, his arm naturally settling more securely around me like his body had finally stopped questioning it.

The bond followed. It didn’t snap or surge this time. It was settling and bringing peace with it. Oh, so much peace. I had longed for it for so long without knowing what it truly felt like.

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?” He murmured after a while.

“Not tonight,” I whispered. “Tomorrow you can spiral all you want again, but I will bring you back again.”

A faint breath left him, almost amused despite everything. “You’re impossible.”

“You like that about me.”

He waited a moment, then I felt his chin move across the top of my head as if he were trying to see my face. “Did you…date one of the other Alpha heirs?”

I sighed, closing my eyes again as I tried to calm myself down. “No, Riven. Why would you ask something like that?”

“Marcus asked me a few months after…you went home if it was okay if he asked you on a date,” he said, his voice trailing off. “I told him sure, because I wanted you to be happy. The next day, you were next to him at lunch.”

I remembered that day, but not for the same reason he did. It wasn’t what he thought it was. “Marcus came and spoke to me,” I started, then stopped, sucking in a breath. “He talked to me about you and noticed I was having a hard time eating.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah,” I said softly. “At the end of lunch, he asked me to go out with him and said that he could give me a better life.”

“So he asked?” Riven murmured. His heart was pounding wildly against my ear.

“Yes, technically. What you didn’t see is the moment I broke down crying and told him I couldn’t do it, that I was in love with you. I went home for the rest of the day after that,” I whispered, clutching him hard.

“That’s why you weren’t at school after that,” he breathed.

“Yes,” I said softly, the memory settling heavier than I expected. “I couldn’t sit there as if everything was normal when it wasn’t. Not after you were gone.”

His arm tightened around me again, not in a panic this time, but something closer to regret.

“I didn’t know,” he admitted quietly. “He…was around you often and I thought—”

“That’s because he tried several times, Riven. He really tried, and I shot him down every time.”

Silence stretched between us again. His hand stilled against my back for a moment before starting to move again.

“I thought you moved on,” he said after a while, his voice low, almost careful. “It would’ve made it easier to believe I did the right thing.”

I let out a soft breath against his chest. “You really think I could just replace you like that?”

“I thought you deserved someone who didn’t come with…” He trailed off.

“The demon?” I finished for him.

His body tensed slightly at the word, as if even naming it gave it more weight.

“Yeah,” he said.

I shifted just enough to tilt my head up, even if I couldn’t fully see his face in the dim light.

“You don’t get to decide what I deserve,” I breathed. “You made that choice for me once already.”

His breath hitched slightly, and I felt it ripple through the bond. “We have…to go to the academy tomorrow.”

“So we do. Let’s sleep and just not talk about this.”

He nodded, and we settled in again, his chin resting on top of my head. My eyes slid closed as peace washed over me again, but flashes of something came to mind.

Something I didn’t want to see anymore.