Chapter 107: I'm Exhausted - Riven's POV

My demon coiled tighter and tighter, making me grimace. He was just waiting for the smallest crack in my control, so he could slip through again. Not that it mattered. He did what he wanted, anyway..

“You’re giving him too little credit,” I said finally, my voice low and rough. “And not giving the other thing enough.”

Her expression didn’t falter, though I felt the slight shift in the bond. It wasn’t fear, but a deep, unsettling frustration.

“Then stop separating yourself from it like you don’t have any say,” she shot back. “You fought him. I felt it. That wasn’t just instinct, Riven. That was you choosing to come back. I don’t think he has as much control as you think he does.”

The words hit harder than I wanted them to. I turned away again, pacing once more, because standing still felt impossible. My skin felt too tight, my thoughts too loud, and everything inside of me was pushing in different directions at once.

“You think that matters if one day I don’t win?” I asked, glancing back at her. “All it takes is one time, Callista. One moment where I slip too far and don’t make it back, and then what?”

Her gaze softened slightly, but she didn’t back down. “Then we deal with that when it happens.”

“That’s not good enough,” I snapped. “It’ll never be a good enough answer. That’s why I sent you away. And now I see the damage it has done. It feels as if we are doomed either way we go.”

Silence fell again, heavier this time, pressing in around us.

Behind me, Raze shifted his weight, clearly uncomfortable now, though he still didn’t leave. “I’m starting to think you both enjoy arguing more than surviving,” he muttered under his breath. “Why don’t you just go ahead and make her yours fully? What’s the worst that can happen at this point?”

Neither of us acknowledged him. I didn’t want to think about what would happen if I claimed her now fully without going through the ceremony first. It was too much to even hear it, let alone think about it.

Callista pushed herself fully to her feet now, slower this time, but steady. The movement pulled at my attention immediately, my body reacting before my mind could catch up. I took a step back without thinking, putting more distance between us.

That didn’t go unnoticed.

Her brow furrowed. “Are you serious right now?”

“Yes,” I said immediately.

“You just said we needed to talk,” she continued, her voice rising slightly. “And now you’re acting like I’m the threat?”

“That’s not what this is,” I ground out.

“Then what is it?” She demanded. “It sure looks like it to me.”

I dragged a hand down my face again, exhaling sharply. “It’s me trying not to make the same mistake twice in one night.”

That slowed her.

The tension in her shoulders eased just slightly, though her eyes didn’t soften. “You think stepping away from me right now is helping?”

“Yes.”

“Look at me, then,” she replied. “Look at me and tell me if this looks good for me. My wolf is struggling, Riven. I can’t even shift properly. She tries, but it hurts so bad. I can barely eat. I’m being destroyed. Is that what you want? If it is, then run, but you’re going to do it while I’m standing right in front of you.”

That struck something deep and uncomfortable.

“I’m not running,” I said, though it sounded weaker than I intended. “I’m trying to avoid what might happen.”

“You are,” she insisted. “You did it a year ago, and you’re doing it again now, just in a different way.”

My jaw tightened, but I didn’t argue because part of me knew she wasn’t entirely wrong.

The bond pulsed again, pulling tighter between us, reacting to every word and every shift in emotion. It was overwhelming after so long without it, like something starved finally being fed, and I didn’t trust myself with it yet.

“You don’t understand what it’s like inside my head,” I said finally, quieter now. “You don’t feel what I feel when he starts pushing forward.”

Her gaze didn’t waver. “Oh? You think I don’t? I did before you sent me away. The funny thing is I even told you about feeling a coldness next to our bond and asked you if he was bonded to me as well.”

I hesitated.

The memory hit harder than anything she had said tonight. It wasn’t distant or blurred by time. It was sharp, clear, and entirely too real. The way she had looked at me back then, confused and a little unsettled, asking a question I hadn’t been ready to answer.

Because I hadn’t had one.

My jaw tightened as I dragged in a slow breath, forcing myself to meet her gaze again. “I remember,” I said quietly.

Her expression shifted at that, something vindicated flickering through the frustration. “Then stop acting like I don’t understand what’s happening to you,” she pressed. “I’ve felt it too. Maybe not like you do, but enough to know that you’re not completely gone when it takes over.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re safe,” I countered immediately.

“It means I’m not blind,” she shot back.

Silence stretched again, but it didn’t hold the same weight as before. This time, it felt like something breaking open rather than closing in.

I exhaled slowly, my shoulders dropping just slightly as some of the tension bled out of me.

“You shouldn’t have had to feel that,” I said after a moment, my voice quieter now. “Any of it.”

“And you shouldn’t have had to go through it alone,” she replied just as quickly.

That shut me up. The bond pulsed again, slower this time, but deeper. It carried something steadier with it now, something that wasn’t just desperation or hunger. It was understanding, and I didn’t know what to do with that.

Behind me, Raze shifted again, but he didn’t speak this time. For once, he seemed content to just observe. I dragged a hand through my hair again, pacing once before forcing myself to stop. Running in circles wasn’t going to fix this.

Nothing was.

“You’re right.”

“I’m glad,” she snapped. “Because I’m tired of going around and around on the same thing. We know what we are upset against and we’ve seen what could become of us. Our only chance is sticking together and hoping for the best.”

Guilt twisted hard in my chest, because I knew that. At least, deep down I did.

“The bond wasn’t meant to be suppressed like that,” I said, more to myself than to her. “Not for this long.”

“I know that now,” she murmured. “And I paid for it. I told you.”

My gaze dropped to the mark on her throat again. It stood out clearly against her skin, darker than before and more defined.

Claimed. The word slipped into my thoughts uninvited, and I shoved it away just as quickly.

“That’s why it healed faster,” I added, my voice tightening slightly. “The bond is trying to correct itself. It’s…overcompensating.”

Her fingers brushed over it again, lighter this time. “It doesn’t feel wrong.”

“That doesn’t mean it isn’t dangerous.”

She let out a quiet, frustrated breath. “Everything about this is dangerous, Riven. You, me, the bond, the demon. There isn’t a version of this where we’re completely safe.”

I didn’t argue, because there wasn’t a point in it anymore.

The room fell quiet again, but it wasn’t suffocating this time. It was heavy, but steady, like we were finally standing on the same ground instead of pulling in opposite directions.

“I can’t lose you,” I said finally.

The words came out before I could stop them.

Her expression softened immediately, the tension in her shoulders easing just slightly. “You won’t,” she said.

“You don’t know that,” I replied, my voice rough.

“Neither do you,” she countered gently.

That didn’t help.

My hand curled into a fist at my side as I looked away again, my thoughts spiraling in too many directions at once. Every outcome I could see ended the same way. With her hurt. Or worse.

“You keep talking about what might happen,” she continued, stepping a little closer despite everything. “But you’re ignoring what is happening.”

I stilled.

“What is happening,” she said more firmly, “is that I’m here. I’m not leaving. And whether you like it or not, this bond isn’t going anywhere either.”

The bond pulsed again, stronger this time, reacting to her words as if it agreed.

“And if you keep pushing me away,” she added, her voice quieter now, “it’s not going to protect me. It’s just going to break me.”

I nodded. “Six weeks, huh?”

Raze scoffed behind me. “I’m going to tell our dear father that it needs to be moved up. You two can’t go on like this.”

I glanced at him over my shoulder, knowing he was right, but I also didn’t want to rush it. “No, we’ll make it. We can do six weeks, can’t we?”

When I turned, Callista was looking at me with a grim smile. “Yes, we can do six weeks. But right now, I need to get some sleep. I’m exhausted.”