Chapter 101: Can't Afford to Say - Callista's POV

I let Riven lead me to his room. It felt strange being here, but after one look around, I realized not much had changed. Of course, I had only seen it once and then the night I came to stay for the weekend was when things had gone south.

The memory brushed the edge of my mind like a warning, but I pushed it down before it could fully surface. That version of him and this version of him didn’t feel like the same person anymore.

Or maybe I just didn’t know which one was real.

Riven shut the door behind us with a quiet click. He didn’t lock it. That alone made something in my chest tighten.

There were books stacked on the table near the window, as if he needed some sort of order in his life. It was probably something he had studied hundreds of times, knowing him. The bed was mostly made, except for one corner where it seemed he had sat down at some point. The nightstand held a few more books and a light that wasn’t there before.

“You haven’t changed it much,” I whispered. “But you stay here now, don’t you? Does that mean I need to move in too?”

He laughed under his breath, but it was humorless. “After you left, I confronted my parents. The ones who raised me, that is. I have bounced back and forth, because they still feel like…they’re my parents.”

“I understand,” I said softly.

“But I’m moving here this year since I’m turning eighteen. You are free to come and go as you please,” he whispered. “If you don’t want to live here, I understand, though I’ll miss you when you’re gone.”

“If we have our ceremony, then we’ll be mated fully and I’ll move in,” I said, not holding back. “It’ll be fine. We’ll just be married seniors at the academy.”

He nodded, but I could feel something in the bond tense. It pulsed between us for a moment, softer than before, but still constant. It was like a heartbeat I couldn’t ignore.

My skin felt all too aware of him. Riven didn’t say anything at first. He just stood there as if he wasn’t sure what to do with me in the same space again.

That was new.

I shifted my weight slightly, glancing around instead of looking at him too long. “So this is it,” I whispered. “This is where we will stay.”

“It’s just a room,” he replied, but his voice didn’t sound as if he believed that.

My gaze landed on him, anyway. He looked…different up close. Not in the obvious ways. He was still Riven. But there was something heavier now. Something that sat behind his eyes and didn’t leave even when he blinked.

“You stare at me like that a lot,” I said before I could stop myself.

His brow lifted slightly. “Like what?”

“Like you’re trying to figure out if I’m real.”

There was a pause, then his jaw tightened. “I’m just trying to figure out if you’re going to run away screaming from me. The last time we were this close, things went…horribly.”

The honesty in it caught me off guard. I looked away first.

Of course, he thought that. We’d had over a year of distance and the times we saw each other at school were pretty far away. We’d orbited each other like strangers.

Still…he was the one who pushed me away.

I walked a little farther into the room, pretending I needed to look at something. Anything but him.

“It doesn’t feel real to me either,” I admitted quietly.

That made him move. He wasn’t fast, and I felt him before I saw it. He was closer now, just slightly behind me. Our bond reacted immediately, tightening as if it was growing by the second.

My breath caught. I hated that part the most. My body easily responded to him as if nothing had changed, though we both had.

“I wasn’t sure we’d ever be back together in the same room or this close,” I said, more to fill the silence than anything.

“I didn’t think I’d survive a year without you,” he answered.

That stopped me completely.

My fingers curled slightly at my side. “Riven…”

“I’m not saying it to guilt you,” he said quickly, almost sharper than intended. Then he exhaled, dragging a hand through his hair as if he were trying to reset himself. “I’m just telling you the truth.”

The truth. That word felt heavier now than it used to, because the truth had shifted so many times between us. I wasn’t even sure where it started anymore.

I turned to face him fully now. He was already watching me.

The bond hummed again, softer this time, almost carefully.

“Is the demon bothering you now?”

“No, he’s quiet,” he said, his gaze darkening slightly. “But he could come back at any moment.”

I knew there wasn’t any point in pretending otherwise, but I stepped closer without really meaning to. It just happened, like I couldn’t stand the space between us.

Riven didn’t move away, which made it worse.

“I don’t know what we’re supposed to do now,” I admitted.

His eyes flickered over my face as if he were memorizing it all over again. “We’re supposed to stay alive,” he breathed. “That’s the first thing.”

I let out a slow breath and nodded once.

“Okay,” I whispered.

A beat of silence stretched between us again, but it wasn’t empty this time. It was full of everything we weren’t saying. Everything we couldn’t afford to say yet.

Riven glanced toward the door as if he were thinking about the world outside this room. Then back to me.

“You should get settled,” he said, motioning toward the bathroom. “I can get you some clothes to sleep in if you didn’t bring any and you can shower. That is if you want.”

I blinked in surprise. “That’s it? Take a shower and get settled, huh?”

His brow rose. “Yeah. Is there supposed to be something else?”

I reached forward, wrapping my arms around him. “You haven’t even kissed me yet.”