Chapter 81 Shattered dreams
~ Taren's POV ~
Seeing Lyra’s door standing open immediately filled my mind with questions. I had never once encountered her door left ajar, not since the very first day I began coming here to deliver her meals. It had always been closed. The sight alone made unease coil in my chest.
Nothing could have prepared me for what waited beyond that threshold. The instant my eyes found the scene inside, my heart seized so violently that it felt as though it had stopped beating altogether.
Standing there, in plain sight, was the woman I had been quietly gathering the courage to confess my love to, locked in a kiss with my Alpha.
The world seemed to tilt beneath my feet, and for a brief, horrifying moment, I forgot how to breathe.
I could not bear to keep looking. Panic and pain surged through me at once, forcing my body to retreat on instinct. I stumbled away from the doorway, my back colliding hard with the wall beside me. The impact knocked the air from my lungs, and I only managed to keep myself upright by gripping the trolley tightly, using it to support my weight as my legs threatened to give out beneath me.
By the time Alpha Kael finally left, I felt hollowed out, as though something vital had been ripped from my chest. I pushed the trolley into the room on unsteady feet, coming face to face with Lyra.
She looked unreal, like an angel who had stepped straight out of a dream I had never dared to have. The dress she wore and the shoes on her feet transformed her into someone ethereal and untouchable. Her face held a faint trace of embarrassment as she looked at me, yet even that only made her more beautiful, not less.
“Hey, Taren,” she called softly, her voice gentle, and it was only then that I realized I had been standing there in silence, frozen.
“Good evening, my lady,” I greeted, lowering my eyes almost immediately. I focused on the task at hand, arranging her meal as if it were the most important thing in the world, because I could not trust myself to say anything else. My mind was still reeling from what I had just witnessed.
“Aren’t you going for the feast?” she asked.
“I am,” I replied, still refusing to lift my head. “I decided to bring your dinner early since I don't know when the feast will be over.”
“Awwn, that was thoughtful of you. Thank you so much. I appreciate your concern,” she said warmly.
Silence settled between us, stretching longer than it should have. My chest felt tight as I wrestled with myself, until at last I found the courage to speak, even though I already knew the answer might destroy what little composure I had left.
“I asked you if there was anything going on between you and Alpha, and you said there was nothing,” I said, finally lifting my gaze to her face.
Confusion appeared instantly in her expression.
“I did?” she asked. “When was that?”
“The day he was meant to travel, when he came out of your bathroom,” I answered, trying to keep my voice steady, though I could tell I was failing miserably at hiding what I felt.
“Oh no,” she said gently, shaking her head. “You asked if he was harassing me, and I said no.”
The memory struck me immediately. That had indeed been my exact question that day, and the realization only deepened the ache in my chest.
“So you consented to this?” I pressed on, unable to stop myself.
“Consented to what?” she asked.
“To him kissing you,” I clarified, my voice barely holding together.
“Yeah,” she said simply. “He is my mate, so it's kind of a natural thing to do.”
Those words felt like a blade to my lungs, slicing the breath right out of me. For a moment, I was certain I had misheard her. She said it so easily, so carelessly, that I found myself desperately wanting to believe my ears were lying to me.
“Alpha is your mate?” I asked, my eyes stretched wide and my jaw slack with disbelief.
“Yes,” she replied, her voice still nonchalant, though there was a faint excitement threaded through it.
“What?” I blurted out. “Are you sure about that?” My mind refused to process her words, rejected them outright.
“Yes, I am very sure,” she said, this time with more intention. Her expression shifted subtly, suspicion beginning to creep into her features, though I did not notice it right away.
“You are Alpha’s mate?” I asked again. “Lunaris confirmed it?”
“Why are you asking like that?” Her brows knitted together, and it was only then that I truly realized she was serious.
“I just want to be sure he is not manipulating you,” I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them.
“Why do you think he is the one manipulating me and not the other way around?” she asked, a full frown now etched across her face.
“What?” I said, utterly confused. “You are the one manipulating him?”
“Of course not,” she snapped, frustration coloring her voice. “What are you even saying? Is it possible to manipulate something as sacred as that? Why are you acting like this? Are you one of those who are against werewolves getting mated to others outside their kind?”
Her words landed heavily, and only then did I understand what she had drawn from my reaction. The pain in her voice was unmistakable, mirrored in her eyes so clearly that it felt like a physical blow.
“No, no, no. That is not the case here. I am just surprised, that's all,” I said quickly, scrambling to salvage the situation before it spiraled further out of control.
“This feels like a lot more than surprise. You look pained,” she pointed out gently, and she was right. I was pained, but not for the reasons she believed.
“That’s because I was not expecting this,” I said, releasing a long breath that came out almost soundless. “Since when have you known?” I asked, my voice quieter now, weighed down by the truth I was bracing myself to hear.
“Since the day I met Lunaris for the first time,” she answered.
As she spoke, she took a few slow steps backward until the edge of the bed touched the backs of her knees, and she finally sat down, her posture suddenly looking smaller and more guarded.
“Why did you not tell me?” I asked, no longer bothering to hide the pain that had taken root in my chest.
“I’m not sure,” she replied honestly. “But I guess I was scared of receiving this very reaction from you.”
I nodded slowly, swallowing hard. “I’m sorry. I was just surprised,” I said, forcing the words out even though they felt hollow. “Congratulations on finding your mate. Have a good night, my lady.” I gave her a short bow, turned, and walked out of the room, leaving the quarters without looking back even once.
The walk back to my room felt unbearably long, as though the corridors themselves had stretched just to torment me. Every step echoed too loudly, every breath felt too heavy.
The moment I stepped into my room and closed the door behind me, the restraint I had been clinging to shattered completely. I broke down in tears, crying openly and uncontrollably, releasing emotions I had buried for years and never allowed myself to feel.
After some time, once my chest stopped aching so sharply and my tears finally slowed, I realized that it was already late for the feast. I washed my face, staring briefly at my reflection without truly seeing myself, then dressed properly and headed for the hall.
I had no desire to enjoy myself or participate in any celebration. I chose a corner of the hall and stood there quietly, content to simply observe the crowd from a distance, until Elder Cross approached me.
“Something weighing on your mind?” he asked, studying me closely.
“I am fine, Elder Cross,” I replied, hoping my answer would be enough to send him on his way. It was not.
“Today is our annual feast, Taren,” he said. “I believe no one appointed you as the corner watchman of the day. Loosen up a little and have some fun. Look around. That is what lads your age are doing, not sulking in one corner of the room as if their world is collapsing.” As he spoke, he picked up a glass of wine from a passing waiter and handed it to me. “Here, drink this. It will cheer you up a little bit.” With that, he walked away the moment I accepted the glass.
I downed the liquid immediately, welcoming the burning sensation as it slid down my throat. I had never been a fan of alcohol, but tonight it felt like the only thing capable of dulling the ache inside me, even if only briefly.
I could not tell how many glasses I had consumed by the time Brenda approached me, armed with her usual busybody curiosity, asking unnecessary questions and offering advice no one had asked for.
Thankfully, before I could truly pour my heart out to her, Elder Rowan came to my rescue.
“Are you okay, Taren?” he asked once she finally left me alone. I laughed at that, a hollow sound that surprised even me.
“Of course I’m not okay,” I answered.
“What is going on with you?” he asked, his tone calm but probing.
“One thing. Just one thing, Elder Rowan,” I said. “I can't believe that Alpha has found his mate.”
His eyes widened immediately at my words.
“I think you have had enough of this,” he said firmly. He took the glass from my hand and placed it on the nearest tray before adding, “Come with me.”
Without wasting time, he grabbed my shoulder and guided me out of the hall, leading me straight back to my room.
“What has come over you, Taren?” he scolded. “Why would you drink to the point where you say things like that freely in a public place?” I fixed my eyes on him then, realization dawning slowly.
“So you knew about it?” I asked.
“It was supposed to be a secret,” he replied, his tone still sharp. “Not something you go announcing in the hall during the annual feast.”
“Why?” I asked, a deep sense of betrayal washing over me, even though I could not clearly tell who had betrayed me.
“Why what?” he asked, confused.
“Why did the Moon Goddess mate Lyra to Alpha?” I asked, and the nausea hit me instantly. I barely had time to react before I rushed into the bathroom and vomited everything I had consumed. The world spun violently after that, and I eventually passed out right there on the floor.