Chapter 24 Thyago's POV
Feeling exhausted, Thyago laid himself on the bed when he got home. He was occupying the penthouse of one of their family-owned hotels in Dallas, Texas. His parents are currently on a European tour having a vacation. Since his father served his last term as a Governor and decided to quit politics and his mother passed him the sole authority in administering all of the Gonzales businesses that she inherited after his grandfather passed away. He doesn't usually go home in the old mansion, he'll be all alone anyway so he decided to occupy the penthouse in one of their hotels in Texas besides the fact that it was convenient, it was also time-saving for it's just nearby his main office.
He took out a frustrated sigh as he remembered Bea. She had changed a lot and he was surprised. The cute, shy, sweet, thoughtful, and innocent yet smart girl had turned into a confident and witty attractive woman. He remembered wondering how would she be like if she grew up? Now it has finally happened, he was just too glad because she became exactly the way he expected her to be.
The cute and sweet Bea who got an obvious crush on him way back in their teenage days. The way she gazed at him, the way she secretly follow him around, and how she managed to prolong their conversation just to be with him. How she pleased him and how she tried hard to impress him, everything about her was amazing. Those rounded curious eyes, her long unruly hair, that pointed nose that wrinkled every time she gets disappointed or frustrated, and those blushing cheeks and cute expressions she was not aware of, he clearly remembers it all. He still never forget those times. He wasn't conscious that time but he had been fond of her since then. Although he tries to take for granted that feeling because she was young for him. He hang out with her for he thought that fondness was like something akin to wanting to have a little sister. You see he was the only child and he want so badly to have a sibling. But he realized the more they became closer to each other, the more he yearn to be with her more much longer. That feeling grew deeper but he just don't wanna admit it literally because he knew he shouldn't be feeling that way towards a girl younger than him. She was young at that time so he just diverted his attention to Elena by courting her and showing her too much attention and affection. He wasn't that insensible to not notice she was being jealous of the attention he was giving to Elena. He intentionally did that so she will divert his attention to some worthwhile things.
He could still remember when she asked him to teach him in math. She got that wits and guts that caught his attention and how he even got amazed when she vocally complimented him that he was smart and good in many things. Not because he was pleased with what she said, he just likes her humor and frankness. She was genuine, unlike some other girls who tries to catch his attention by impressing him. The way she waited for him and brought food as a token of gratitude, that was the first time a girl did that to him. He used to hate seafood and fish so he managed to tell everyone that he's allergic to it. He has to admit that it was the first time he liked the taste of tuna sandwich but he chose to lie to him which he regrets in the end. Honestly, he really felt guilty that time most especially when she bothered going to the canteen and buy him new food. When Elena joined him and saw her coming from afar bringing the food she bought, he pretended he never noticed her coming. He intentionally became sweeter to Elena knowing she was watching them from afar. He knew that hurt her and made her jealous so she never came back. He must have upset her big time because after that she avoided her. Days and weeks passed by Bea never showed to him and that brought him a curiosity. Weeks turned to months and he realized she was really avoiding him. He must be hurt so bad and that made him guilty because he couldn't stand not talking to her. When he couldn't take it any longer, he talked to her and apologized. He loves the way he fetches her before and after school, the way they chat along the way home, and how she told him what happens with her the whole day. Bea was cheerful was very talkative, that's part of her charm. He also loves her perspectives and opinions and the way she patiently waits for him just to eat with him during break time. Sometimes their conversation made no sense at all but everything seems to make sense whenever she was with him. She definitely makes his day and brightens his moods all the time.
He could still remember when he called and told her that Elena was finally his official girlfriend. He noticed her sudden silence and how her voice broke that time. God knows how he felt bad for hurting her feelings by breaking her heart but he has to do it, that's the right thing to do. She couldn't just focus on her feelings for him for she was so young and he's a distraction to her studies.
When he found about the diary, different kinds of emotions and too much happiness is what he felt. He never thought she was that sweet and poetic. He really got amazed and flattered by what she thought and feels about her but then he got worried and confused about how to handle the situation. He remembered Elena handed him the notebook and told him it was Bea's diary. He got stunned for a moment at first as anger and disappointment rushed through him. He wanted to reprimand Elena for stealing her cousin's diary but she insisted that he must read it. When he was left alone, he opened the diary and read every page and word she have written.
Every phrase, every paragraph, and every word did mark on him. She chronicled all the feelings she felt towards him. Their conversation, her thoughts, her pains, sadness, and disappointments. So much happiness suddenly surged inside him as he read every sentence and paragraph she had written in that diary. God knows how he felt that way too every time she felt bad especially the time when she got jealous over Elena and how she decided to avoid him that last for months. He suddenly asked himself what Bea saw in him that captured her young heart. She also chronicled what happened on the camping. The camping was an amazing experience for him too. They had so much fun together. It was the time they got to know each other and started to build their friendship. That's one of the precious moments he treasured together with her. That was also the time he recognized his feelings for her and knew what it means. The time he started to feel something special to her but realized he shouldn't be feeling that way towards her because she was way too young at that time.
When everything fell apart. How Elena spread copies of her diary to the whole campus and humiliated her. How she turned out to be the laughing stock and get bullied at school. He wanted to stop all that and castigated Elena and break up with her but he suddenly felt coward. He got afraid to be laugh at by his own friends and be suspected to have feelings with Bea which is actually true. How can he tell his friends he was attracted to a girl four years younger than him and not even in high school yet? Besides, he was still in denial at that time and don't wanna acknowledge his feelings towards her. He was a total jerk for doing nothing to save her. Instead, he avoided and never listened to her when she tried to explain herself. He was a real jerk for making the biggest mistake in his life. He broke his promise to side her no matter what and never intended to keep that promise. Instead, he hurt her and break her heart.
When she kissed him, God knows how he badly wanted to kiss her back. Silly her, he never thought she was capable of doing such a silly thing like that. He had been kissed by different girls but her kiss was different among all. She was inexperienced and doesn't even know how to kiss. She just put her lips into him but damn it awaken a lot of amazing sensations in him. How his heart beats so fast in unreasonable joy, how he got stunned and felt his world stop existing for a moment. It was the best feeling ever! He never wanted to end that earth-shattering kiss but he has to or else he'll regret it. He gently pushed her and looked at her confused about what to do next. He showed him coldness and anger for what she did. He pretended he was mad but when he saw her tears, heaven knows how he wanted to embrace and wipe those tears away. She was so young, wild, and carefree. Her feelings might soon fade away and he doesn't want to be selfish to cage him and make her feel committed to him if he entertained her feelings. He needs to push her away. Her feelings for him will only distract her. She was still young and he don't want to encaged her and just let her focus on her feelings for him while he was about to enter college and start to build his career. After that, they evade each other never thought he will regret it in the end when she found she left town with her father and settled in the North.
And when she's gone, he felt devastated. Heaven knows how he missed her. How he badly wanted to apologize and realized he made a mistake. As the common saying: to regret it is at the end, that's what he exactly felt. He lost her because of his cowardice. He should have stood for her and fight for his feelings. He shouldn't have taken her for granted and hurt her. He should have explained their situation and waited for her to be at the right age. He should never let cowardice rule over him and freed his feelings instead. That way she might never left. They separate ways knowing she hated him so much and that's what he regretted the most. He can't blame her for loathing him until now, he just deserved it...
And as the years passed by, he study hard and tried his best to be worth in everyone's praises. He worked hard in changing himself to become a responsible man and that's all because of Bea. He wanted to be worth enough for her the next time they will see each other. When he finished his college degree and worked in their company, he came to a point where he realized that it was still Bea he was thinking about. He decided to search for her and hired a private detective to do the job. When he got the report and found where she is, he secretly observes and watch over her from afar. He gets updated in her life and became her stalker from afar. He had seen her chase her dreams and reached it. How she started on her career and succeeded in it. She had grown to be an intelligent and strong woman who knew what she wanted and knows how to get it. He has seen her success and achievements in her career and he felt so proud of her.
There was an instance he saw her in a restaurant with a guy. They were sweet and it seems they're having so much fun. Something bad emotion suddenly crept inside him and he knew it was jealousy. One thing that bothered him is when the detective reported to him that she was seeing the same guy oftentimes. When he found who the guy is, pain and jealousy crept inside him after knowing it was now her boyfriend. Right that very moment he got awakened as realization suddenly struck him.
He realized what he had been doing for these past few years? Why did he never try to show up and woe her just like he had promised himself way back then? He wants her badly and he's willing to do everything to win her.
So he came up with this business proposal. He asked for her firm services and insisted that she should be the main designer of the project. He offered her a proposal she couldn't decline and it was all part of his plan. He'll make her forget the past and try to be close to her again. Will woe her and try his best to win her heart no matter what the consequences are. He loved her all these years, his feelings never changed, instead, it grows and nourishes more as he watched her became a wonderful woman. Perhaps he had loved her right at the moment he met those curious stares of her and that glint of amazement he saw in her pretty face but just refused to acknowledge it for they were young and he was dumb. Those lovely hazel eyes that he always wanted to stare at and her sweet and cheerful characteristics. The diary and the kiss, it was all flashing back to him as a smile slowly formed his lips. He will win her by hook or by crook. He had missed a chance before and swear it won't let it happen again. He was at that thought until darkness and drowsiness engulfed him to fall asleep.