Chapter 38

Once I had finished eating I cleared my plate away and did the washing up. I contemplated if the smoke earlier would be enough to tide me over until I fell asleep. I decided to spend the evening in my room going over the pictures from the asylum that I still had trying to make more sense of them. I don't know why I decided this would be the best use of my time. I just knew that it was something that needed doing. As I went through I made notes of some of the writings. They seemed to be names followed by writing. The first was Luke 18-20, then it was Isaiah verse 14 3-6, Ezekiel 28 1-9, psalms of asaph 82. The final one was just two words “old testament”., then in amongst the smears and scratchings the symbol. The demonic-like wings with the heart in the middle.i knew i had seen it somewhere before and it was only at this point that i realised it must have been on the asylum walls which is the main reason i couldn't really remember where i had seen it. I decided the next day I would do some more research on the references and maybe try and find out more about this symbol. I drifted off into sleep and strange images began to form in my sleeping mind. I was approaching the huge white marble castle that I had seen once before. A feeling of envy rising within myself with every step I took. I didn't know where this feeling had come from but it stirred and began to rise within me like a monster breaking free of its shackles. I entered the grand building and was surrounded by winged guards as we walked to the main hall. I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride and shock at the grandeur within this very hall. Marble walls with huge golden pillars and a light that seemed to emanate from all around. As I neared the end of the grand hall a voice spoke clearly.

“How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations!”

I felt something stir within me and spoke words that were not of my own volition

“I will ascend to the heavens; I will raise my throne above the stars of your own; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly on the utmost heights of Mount Zaphon. I will ascend above the tops of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.”

As i heard the words sit in the air i felt a strong connection to them all though this was still just a dream i felt these words drive me and almost compel me, then like every other time i felt myself forced to a kneel while my hands were closed into the stockade style cuffs with the flowing symbols around them. The sharp burn down my back and then in my wrist as I then felt myself falling. This time I was awoken by hitting my bedroom flaw. I looked at the clock and saw it was about 3am. I sat in bed unsure of what to do with this new information I had got while dreaming. I quickly rushed and grabbed a book I used to write down random D&D ideas and made a note of everything that had happened. I finished writing out the words that had left my lips against my will. I laid myself back in my bed and put the notepad on my bedside table. This was the second time I had the dream while under the influence of something and it seemed now that I would never shake this ongoing nightmare. I smirked to myself as I thought maybe this is God's way of punishing me. I almost laughed out loud at the idea. I didn't really believe in god and was not about to start now because of some nightmares. I suddenly realised my wrist wasnt burning as it usually did, however when I checked the mark it was there again, red in colour. I dismissed this as pretty normal now but at least it didn't hurt this time. I sat unsure of how much time had passed. All I knew is it was getting light when I must have dozed off. At Least this time I was spared the nightmare and felt a little rested. This was truly a blessing along with the hot water of the shower. I grabbed a bag with the notes I had made and decided I would head to the library to find out more information concerning the most recent updates to my dream. I couldn't help but investigate this curiosity that had been awoken within me. As I was making my way to the library I convinced myself it was just like a treasure hunt or escape room, just another puzzle that I could try and solve.