Chapter 4

Reagan:

The last of my money went to a bus ticket. As I handed it over I realized I put all my eggs into this basket. If the pack wouldn’t take me, then I had nowhere else to go. No one to turn to. I tried not to think about what would have happened if they said no.

Every bump in the road had my heart jumping before I could calm myself down again. No one on the bus came from the same place I did. I repeated that to myself as many times as I needed to before I believed it.. A wolf pack would be the safest place. When they chose someone to welcome into the pack, that person became family. They’d be protected with their lives.

My foot wouldn’t stop tapping. I worried it would draw stares. I put my hand on my knee, stilling it. Everything would be fine. As long as the wolves didn’t view me as a threat, then I saw no reason they wouldn’t let me stay. The problem being, I was a massive threat. I didn’t want to lie, but to what end should I defend myself? I needed a home. I needed to save my own life if for no other reason than all it had cost me.

I needed a game plan. When I showed up, I had to figure out what to say. Should I tell them the truth? I had no idea how these people would be. I thought that maybe it would be best to tell them the truth, but not give too many details. Maybe they would be kind enough not to ask.

“Hey,” I heard someone say. When I turned, I saw an older woman who had hopped onto the bus as it stopped. She pointed to the empty seat beside me. “This taken?”

“Go ahead,” I told her.

She sat down, bones cracking as she did so. With a sigh, she patted her lap and turned my way. “Are you traveling all alone?”

“Uh, yeah,” I responded.

“Where to?”

“Visiting my dad,” I lied. “He’s up North.”

Be friendly. Don’t talk much. You don’t know how to lie.

I sat up straighter, attempting to put out an air of confidence I didn’t have. If I acted like an adult, people might think I was. Not a terrified teenager running away. If I looked like I was in trouble, then someone could call the police.

“Is there something wrong?” the old woman asked. “You have dirt all over your face and neck,” she whispered. “Oh, and under your nails. What on earth have you been up to?”

Come up with something. Fast!

“I, um…” I stammered, drawing a blank. I had no idea how to sound convincing. I hadn’t had a conversation with someone other than Elena in I didn’t know how long. She always did all the talking. “Baseball!” I spat out.

The woman stared at me funny. “What?”

“I was, I was playing baseball,” I said, reaching for my bag. I unzipped it, showing her the handle of the bat I had with me. “I’m not all that good. I fall a lot.”

“You play sports? Is there a boy you like on the team or something?”

I blinked, again unsure of how to respond. Surprising myself, a little bit of venom came out. “Because I can’t just fucking like baseball?”

The lady’s eyes narrowed. “No need to get short with me. I’m only trying to make conversation.”

I knew that. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped. I’m… I’m tired. Sorry.”

“That’s all right.”

What the hell was wrong with me? As irritating as the lady had been, she didn’t deserve to get snapped at. I blamed my not being used to talking to people. What did I know about human interaction?

I stayed quiet for the rest of the ride, forgetting about my uncharacteristic outburst and focusing on the fact that soon, I would meet with a pack of wolves that might decide to kill me.

The bus stopped.

With a shaking hand, I picked up my bag and stepped off the bus. I bundled up in my sweater when the wind blew.

I had a long walk ahead of me, trying to find the community the pack had set up. They’d be off the grid, so I couldn’t look it up. I had to go off what I remembered hearing from my family. They had tucked their pack away in the woods, safe from the outside world.

In the stories I’d heard, the Kell Pack had been this place of peace and comfort. My grandfather had been born into the pack, and only left when he met my grandmother. She’d been an Alium. The pack would have accepted her, but she didn’t want that life.

I walked for hours before finally finding the path that would lead me to the pack. I listened to the voice in my head, turning when it told me to turn. For a second or two, I even thought the wind carried the scent of the pack to me. Something warm and musky. But I wouldn’t have been able to smell that.

As it turned out, there were gates up all around the housing area. I peeked inside as best I could, seeing so many homes where I could picture families gathered safely. The houses were much like cottages, save for a few that looked like mini mansions. Ivy climbed up from the ground, claiming the walls of every cottage. I could smell nothing but the greenery, hearing a nearby river running. It was good here. Warm, even when it should have been cold. If only it weren’t for the damn gates.

Climb.

Climb… the gates? That sounded like a terrible idea… but I could do it. Without another way in, I really had no choice but to do something very, very stupid. Elena would have told me to do it.

I tossed my bag over the gate, hearing a loud thud when it landed.

With a deep breath, I stepped foot on the iron gate and wrapped my hands around the bars. I climbed up to the top, where iron spikes discourage this exact kind of activity. My only option to get to the other side would have been to jump down the twelve or so feet I’d just scaled. Hanging off the edge, I stared down at the unkind looking ground. It would not feel good to hit that.

“Oh god,” I breathed, swinging my legs around one at a time. One slip and it would have been bad times for me, so after a tenth deep breath, I jumped.

And I landed on my feet. It felt like I’d glided down through the air, only to land squarely on the balls of my feet. Weird. I’d been expecting to meet the ground with my face.

I bent to pick my bag up. The second I had the strap in my hand, I heard growling. When I looked up, I saw six wolves standing in a line in front of me, poised to attack. My heart stopped beating when I saw their teeth bared. I pictured them tearing into my flesh, but I knew they wouldn’t get that far. I could stop it.

“Who the hell are you?” a woman asked. The blond looked about a decade older than me, with severe green eyes and her hair tied up.

“My name is Reagan Zandi,” I said, holding my hands up as if I had guns trained on me. “Sorry, I didn’t see a way inside.”

“So you thought hopping the fence was your best option? You could have, ya know, heeded the gates and stayed out.”

“Wait, wait,” another person said. “Sid, I know that name.”

The woman turned as an older man walked toward us. She had her hands on her hips, looking put out. I didn’t know why I found that somewhat offensive while I stood there with several wolves ready to eat me.

“I have it covered, Adam,” the woman said.

“I can see that, but I know the name. We’ve had a couple Zandis in the pack. Miss,” he said, looking at me, “Are you here to murder us?”

“N-no! Of course not,” I said, shaking my head at his insane question.

“Good.” He gave me a grin. “Then you wouldn’t have any problem promising me that you’ll be good while we escort you to our focus room.”

Everyone stared at me. “I, I will. I swear.”

He marched over to me, taking my bag and putting it over his shoulder. “Great.” The man paused for a moment, bending and sniffing at my hair. He narrowed his eyes. “Alium?”

“Yes,” I answered quietly, my knees knocking together as I shivered.

“I see. Come on. Try anything funny, and I have backup here that’s not nearly as nice as I am. Sid might sic them on you anyway, so be careful.”

My stomach turned and I had to beg myself not to throw up.

I wanted this, right? For the pack to talk to me? I should have been relieved that they didn’t try and kill me on sight. If it had been the other way around, my people would have taken them out without even thinking. It didn’t seem fair, but people could do harsh things in the means of protecting someone else. I knew that too well.

It was never going to be me.

I followed the leaders past the rows and rows of houses, the wolves behind me making sure I didn’t do anything shady. I knew they could hear my heart racing. They could smell the sweat on my forehead, despite the cold in the air. They watched every twitch of my fingers and every step I took. One wrong move and this whole place could be bathed in blood.

They brought me away from the homes and toward a road made of pavement. It looked pretty close to a normal neighborhood with several blocks of housing. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought I was in any random town in the country. There were yards and homes and signs of life. I saw chalk on driveways and heard kids giggling as they ran around. I’d only seen this sort of thing on TV.

A building came into view, making me think of a courthouse when we went inside. The wolves didn’t come with us, stopping as they shifted back into human form. I tried not to look at all the naked people.

“Something wrong?” the one named Sid asked, looking over her shoulder at me.

I shook my head.

“Good.”

People scurried along behind me, the eyes of nearly every person going to me as they whispered. Those same people walked past us, going through doors and casting one last look my way. Could they feel my magic? Did they know what had walked into their home?

“Just in here,” Adam told me, opening double doors for me. He let me walk through first, staying close behind.

My heart leapt to my throat when I saw that the room was already filled with people. It might have been a couple dozen, all standing around and looking at me. As far as I knew, wolves didn’t have any sort of magical telepathy powers, so I had no idea how they already knew to be here. Hell, they might have smelled me.

Look!

My head turned, my eyes finding someone else’s. I stared into the sky locked into the irises of a boy. Something struck me hard when I looked at him. It felt like air filling my lungs, sustaining me in a way I hadn’t felt in days. A trick of the mind, of course, but still there, strong and terrifyingly familiar.

That one! That one! Look! the voice said. But I already couldn’t tear my eyes away. The bot was maybe a couple of years older than me and a good half a foot taller just about. His dirty blond hair almost bordered on brown, a short mess on the top of his head. He had his arms crossed, expression a mask of boredom and slight concern. Or, it had been until the moment he’d looked back to me. Then he’d gone tense.

Don’t worry. Always like that. It runs too deep.

I had no idea what the hell that stray voice was trying to say. I believed it though. I couldn’t ignore it and I couldn’t dismiss what it had to say.

“Well go on, alpha,” a man said, throwing a harsh glare toward the boy I’d been staring at. “Take care of the problem.”

The boy lifted an eyebrow at him. “You want me to kill her?” he asked flatly.

He looked too young to be the alpha. What was he, twenty? Twenty-one? He couldn’t have been older than that. The boy didn’t carry himself like an alpha. He carried himself like someone who didn’t want to be there.

“No, not to kill her,” the guy behind me—Adam—said. “But yes, Noah, you should take the lead.”

Noah, the voice in my head tested.

I watched him step forward, sucking in a breath as he looked around. He looked at me again, but it only lasted a couple of seconds before he addressed Adam.

“What happened?” he asked.

“We found her hopping the gates. As far as we know, it doesn’t look like she’s got any malicious intent.”

“I don’t,” I said, speaking up without realizing I’d done it. All eyes went right to me. I had to fight the fear that wanted me to shrink back and hide again. I could no longer hide. My shield had left and I had to stand on my own, brave, and with my head high.

Noah had his eyes on me, and the stare stung more than the others did. “You have something to say?”

I swallowed. “Yes. My name is Reagan Zandi and I need asylum. There are people that might be chasing me. I don’t think they would take me in. It’s a kill order, if I’m lucky.”

The boy snorted. “And you thought the smartest thing you could do was break into a wolf pack and… what, bring us your danger? There are children here. Why the hell would we help a stranger at the cost of our kids?”

We stood ten feet apart, with a crowd behind both of us. It felt like a ring, the two of us in some kind of battle. I had to fight for my place, and it seemed like my opponent was a brick wall.

No. A briar patch.

Shit, I thought at the instinctive voice. I’ll get shredded trying to go through.

No, it responded. Cut slowly. Precise spots. Create a path with care and caution.

“My grandfather was part of your pack,” I said. “It was a long time ago, but he was here with his family. They’re… they’re all gone now, but I thought you might take me in.”

“Because you’re related to long dead wolves?” Noah asked. “Nice try.”

Someone hissed at him, lightly smacking his arm. A tiny blond girl appeared, glaring at him. “Noah! Don’t be a jerk,” she whispered.

“There’s nowhere else for me to go,” I said. “I know you aren’t obligated to take me in, but there’s just no one else. They’re… they’re all dead.”

Noah studied me, arms dropping to his sides. “Your whole family is dead, and you want us to take you in? Surely you see that it would make us targets if you went and got yourself into trouble before this.”

“Let her talk,” the man named Adam said.

Noah growled at him. “I don’t take orders.”

“Then take advice. Let her talk.”

The boy looked to me again, eyebrow cocked. “Fine. Talk then. What brought you here and why should I put my people in danger for you?”

I stood silent, staring at him. I felt his power and the power of everyone else in the room. It pushed at me like wind, wanting to knock me down. I couldn’t make myself open my mouth to speak. I had so much to say, but I didn’t know how.

Stand tall. Speak.

“My sister is dead,” I said, not recognizing the small voice that came out of me. “My twin. We were raised in a place like this, but for Alium. Our mother died giving birth to us, but we lived with our father until we were eleven.” I didn’t want to go on, pouring out all of my misery for strangers to see. I had to force it out, the voice in my head commanding me “The… the people who we lived with, they took us after that. We were held—” I stopped, turning my eyes to the floor when I felt them start to water. “They had us there for a long time. I got out, my sister didn’t.”

“Should we expect her right behind you then?” Noah asked.

“No,” I rasped as a tear hit the floor. It splashed against off white tile.

“I’m sorry,” the Sid woman said. “Noah, I don’t think she’s going to be a threat. There’s no reason we shouldn’t let her hide here for a while.”

The boy didn’t seem to agree. “Those people could be following her. How many are there?” he asked me.

“There were a lot of people in our community, but only five people ever spoke to us. We were locked up, and I don’t know how many others even knew we were alive.”

He nodded. “And how many of those people you talked to might be on the way?”

“I think they’re all dead.”

“You think?”

I’d watched them get filled with magic that twisted up everything inside of them, poisoning their souls and soaking them with the kind of despair that could stop a heart. I hoped the fuckers were dead.

“I had to run,” I said, feeling like I was still coated in the blood that had showered me that day. “I didn’t linger to count bodies.”

“What do you want to do here?” another woman asked their leader. “She’s a kid who needs a safe place. Her family was part of the pack. Wolf or not, I think we have an obligation to take her in.”

Noah shot her a look. “Is that so? What if she’s lying to us?”

It seemed like the question answered itself. I saw it in his eyes while he watched me. I wouldn’t have been a good liar. Anyone could have seen that. But when I looked at him, I could see he knew I told the truth.

“We’ll put her in the holding area,” Adam suggested. “Once we know she’s not a threat, she can come out. We can decide what to do then. Do you accept this, Reagan?”

“Yes. Thank you,” I said.

He led me out of the room alone. I thought he’d bring backup, just in case they worried I’d attack. I didn’t, of course, and I walked quietly to a room on the other side of the building. I tensed when I saw the cell with bars and a cot.

“It looks scarier than it is,” Adam told me. “There aren’t cameras in here, so you don’t have to worry about anyone watching you. There’s an alarm on the door, so if you try and break out, we’ll know it.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “It’s nicer than where I came from.”

His expression darkened at that. “Once we know everything is on the up and up, we can get you a better place to stay. Somewhere with a kitchen and a real bed. It should only be a few days while we look into things. I’ll need the name of the place you came from.”

I nodded.

“And I’ll have to go through your bag.”

I didn’t like the sound of that, but I let him do it. I really only had clothes in there and a few keepsakes. No weapons or anything that would make me look bad.

“Oh,” he said, pulling out my binder. He opened it, flipping through the sheets and sheets of cards. “Baseball cards? This your collection?”

“It is now,” I answered.

He closed the binder and put it back. When his hand wrapped around my bat and pulled it out, I felt that irrational anger coming back to me. I didn’t want anyone touching it.

“I can’t leave you with this,” he said. “You can get it back once we let you go.”

“Okay,” I forced out.

He put me in the cell with my bag and a bottle of water, promising more food would be on the way. I would have liked a shower, but I didn’t want to push it. The heated room was more than I thought I would get.

“I’ll be back soon,” Adam promised me at the door. When he shut it, the sound of metal locking sent me right back to my last cell.

All that walking and I ended up locked in another room.