Chapter 92

Shawna POV

I should have known that it wouldn't be so simple as to ask Ashlynn to take me to those dungeons. I probably did know deep down. She needed permission from Alpha Gabe, but since it wasn't technically on his property where the entrance was, he'd have to seek permission from the council. The Godsend Pack had all but been disbanded, their buildings and property vacant now. The council would have to be okay with our trespassing on the land, and there were valid concerns that there could be squatters or other things there that we were not prepared for. I stood waiting patiently outside Alpha Gabe's office. He had summoned me, and one of his warriors stood next to the door waiting with me. I was slightly nervous about this but nothing compared to the unease I felt about potentially being told no. This was a deep-seated need I had, to face what haunted me.

"You can enter now," the warrior said with a nod. He turned the knob and pushed the door open for me and then walked away. I stood now in the entrance to Alpha Gabe's office. I could see Alpha James seated on a chair in the room and suddenly my stomach dropped. If Alpha James was in the room, it was a good possibility that Michael was also in the room.

"Come in Shawna," Alpha Gabe commanded. I swallowed back the bile in my throat and walked through the threshold. I turned to shut the door and that's when I saw Michael. He had been standing off to the side of the door. He gave me a sad smile and shut the door, then stood like a sentry at the door. "Please take a seat," Alpha Gabe said as I turned to face him.

"Thank you for seeing me Alpha," I said as I sat next to Alpha James.

"Of course, but I really must ask you why you didn't first discuss this matter with Alpha James. He seems rather taken aback by your request," Alpha Gabe said curiously.

"I do apologize Alpha James. I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable is all, and I felt like Alpha Gabe had been there during my rescue and perhaps understood better why I might want to do something like this. I know it seems silly perhaps, but...," he held up his hand silencing me before I could continue,

"On the contrary, I don't think it's silly at all, and I wish you had discussed this with me. Even Michael was unaware of your desire to return to that place. Is there a reason you didn't share it with him as well?" Alpha James asked me point-blank.

"Well, yes and no. I mean it's not a secret, but I wanted to do this on my own and not have anyone talk me out of it. I thought Ashlynn would understand my need since she has been such a great support and friend to me. It's not that I don't trust Michael or even you Alpha, it's just that it's a very emotional thing and I thought people might think me crazy for wanting this." I admitted this openly and to my surprise, nobody in the room was looking at me like I was crazy at all.

"It seems you have misjudged us all," Alpha Gabe chuckled. "No one could possibly think your request is silly. It's rather brave in my opinion. I think facing your demons is a good idea if it helps you to heal and move on with your life. It seems like Michael would like you to move on with your, with him."

I nodded in confirmation. "Yes Alpha, this is true. I would like to move on with him as well, if it is what the Moon Goddess has decided."

"Well then, I'm glad we have cleared that up. Now explain why you want to enter those tunnels with only Ashlynn and Natalie? Not that I think they are incapable of keeping you safe, but wouldn't you rather have warriors with you just in case?" Alpha Gabe sat with his fingers steepled in front of him on the desk. He remained with a calm and gentle face, but I knew very well that men could deceive you in an instant and I didn't want to get too comfortable in his presence. I was here for a reason, and I was determined to have that need met.

"Alpha, you can surely understand that I was at the mercy of several men while in captivity. They did unspeakable things to me and generally I am uncomfortable around a large group of men. I spend most of my time either training with Natalie or with Michael. I don't hang out in groups and I certainly don't surround myself with strong and powerful men. I don't see how taking a bunch of them with me, to exercise my demons, from what I can honestly say was my worst nightmare, is of any benefit to me. I would prefer to have strong, capable and caring friends with me. That is if you are okay with that? Or rather Alpha James and the council."

"You bring up some interesting points and I could never claim to understand how you feel when I've never endured what you have. Nevertheless, I'd like my men to go in the tunnels first and make sure they are safe. I would need to leave a guard there to assure that when they have cleared them, no one else can enter until you have completed your task. Are you opposed to Michael being present?" Alpha Gabe asked.

I twisted my body and looked back at Michael and then back at Alpha Gabe. "He can wait outside the tunnel for me. I think that would be best. Really I do. I'm not trying to be difficult, I just can't have him seeing me as any weaker than I already am."

Michael growled from behind me and I could tell he was likely feeling frustrated, especially since he'd not been given permission to speak by either Alpha. "Michael, you have something you'd like to say?" Alpha Gabe spoke directly to Michael. "Please let's hear it."

"Thank you," Michael's voice was gruff with emotion. "I don't think you are weak at all Shawna. Surviving what you have, and persevering the way you are, that's the opposite of weak. You are the strongest woman I know. I love you for that, but more so, I want you to do what you need to do, without fear of how I am going to react. I will be waiting for you outside that dungeon, but I'd rather just be at your side."

"I know you want to be at my side, but I need to do this Michael," I pleaded with my eyes. Michael looked at me and sighed, closed his eyes and slowly nodded his head in agreement.

"Then it's settled," Alpha Gabe said. "I will send a group of warriors at once to check the tunnels and the surrounding area. We will make sure it's safe and then this evening you can go. If you are certain, that's what you want."

"It is Alpha. Thank you."

He dismissed me and as I left the room, Michael followed me out to the hallway. He pulled me into his arms briefly, whispering that he was proud of me. He released me and returned to his post inside Alpha's office, gently closing the door. I took a steadying breath and made my way to find Ashlynn and Natalie. We had to prepare for whatever was waiting for me and I think I needed a drink first.