Chapter 78
ELARA’S POV
“What are you talking about, telling me to leave?” He thundered, his voice booming through the confined room, sending a fresh wave of terror rippling through my body. He moved nearer, his imposing figure casting a long shadow that seemed to swallow me up.
“Make it clear to me. Tell me why I journeyed all this distance, put everything on the line, just to hear you say… leave.”
“Ronan,” I let out a weary sigh, the sound carrying all my exasperation and hopelessness. “We can’t go down this path. You never should have shown up here. This is all wrong. A massive, awful error.” I folded my arms tightly around my midsection, attempting to fend off the icy dread that had seeped right into my core. Meanwhile, my inner wolf was quivering deep within me; she’d been distant and detached recently, but at this moment, her anguish and grief were overwhelming, flooding through me.
His eyebrows knitted together. “Yeah, you’re spot on.” He replied, his tone unexpectedly gentle and affectionate.
“What?” I raised an eyebrow at him, caught completely off guard by his sudden concurrence.
“You’re absolutely correct. It was an error… allowing you to walk away was the dumbest decision I’ve ever made in my whole existence.”
For whatever reason, that phrase struck a chord of familiarity. Right. Kael had uttered something almost identical, hadn’t he? But Kael’s declaration had been rooted in remorse, a sense of ownership, and an intense drive to safeguard that came from a profound urge to dominate, whereas Ronan… his statement was infused with authentic sorrow.
“Ronan—” I started, scrambling to gather the proper words to convey the impossible circumstances we were in.
“I’m not accepting rejection, Elara. You’re coming back with me.” He extended his hand toward mine, grasping it with a steady, unyielding hold. He was dead serious about not taking no for an answer.
“Ronan,” I yanked my hand free, retreating a step from him. “You have no idea what you’re stepping into.”
“Is this about Darius?” He questioned, his voice turning steely once more.
Just hearing that name triggered a cold shudder down my back.
I furrowed my brow. “It’s bigger than that,” I replied, my words hardly above a hush. “My very presence and the reality that I’m the final remaining Blood healer is an issue—it’s always been one. It won’t bring you anything positive, Ronan. It’s as if I’m a magnet for misfortune.”
“That’s nonsense, and even if there were truth to it, so what? I still choose to be by your side.”
“You’re a decent person, Ronan. You ought to have a fulfilling existence…” My voice faded as I averted my eyes from his. “Even if that means without me.” I tacked on with a bitter edge.
“So, you being stuck here is somehow better?” He let out a derisive snort, his gaze sweeping across Kael’s office with clear contempt. “Are you seriously suggesting that you care for me more than Kael, and that’s why you’d prefer to remain in this place?” He fixed me with a glare, pain and fury battling for supremacy on his face.
My eyes grew wide at his accusation. I hadn’t fully grasped how unjust I’d been toward Kael, and toward Ronan too. Both of them were prepared to give up everything for my sake, but what did I have to give back? Nothing but peril, heartbreak, and perpetual nights filled with anxiety.
“Ronan!” I barked, attempting to mask the sting his words had caused. “That’s not what’s important here at the moment.”
“Then what exactly is?” He pressed, his volume climbing.
“Ronan, you don’t need to put yourself through this. You have an entire pack relying on you and—”
He cut me off abruptly. “I can keep you safe! What’s the use of defending everyone else if I can’t shield the person who means the most to me?”
“It might end up costing you your life,” I shot back, my voice wavering.
“So be it?” He stated plainly, his eyes showing no hint of humor.
My eyes bulged at his reply. “You can’t be serious,” I scoffed, shaking my head in utter disbelief. “There’s no way you actually believe that.”
“I am. I stand by every syllable. I want you back, Elara. I need you in my world—nothing’s felt right since you departed.”
“I’m truly sorry, Ronan,” I said, my tone scarcely audible. “But this can’t happen again. Not with you, not with Kael. I’ve inflicted so much damage on both of you.”
He pounded his fist into the wall with such force that it sent cracks spiderwebbing across the surface, his eyes flashing a vivid crimson, as if he were teetering on the edge of shifting. A sharp intake of breath escaped me as my eyes widened in shock. He appeared poised to demolish the entire room.
“When are you going to quit holding yourself accountable?!” He demanded, his words strained by the effort to rein in his anger. “Is it your responsibility that Darius is a beast? Is it on you that I feel so deeply for you that it’s hard to even think straight? Why are you acting so irrationally?!”
“You’re the one tossing your existence away for something that doesn’t deserve it! If anyone’s asking, you’re the irrational one here!” I shouted in return, my own frustration finally boiling over. I whirled around and charged toward the door, slamming it closed behind me, desperate to flee the choking pressure of the situation.
I couldn’t even bring myself to tell him about our baby. If I did, he’d unleash chaos and level this place if necessary. Kael wouldn’t go down without a fight, but I’d rather stay silent than spark even more conflict between the two of them.
Ronan was correct on so many levels. I was allowing fear to control my choices, distancing myself from the very individuals who were determined to stand by me, men who would lay down their lives for mine—and that was precisely the issue. I couldn’t endanger their safety just to preserve my own. I simply wouldn’t.
I slumped against the wall outside the office, sliding down until I was seated on the ground, pulling my knees up to my chest. Thank goodness Kael had sent away the guards who’d been posted here before. The tears I’d been suppressing finally broke free, cascading hot and relentless down my cheeks.
The door swung open, pulling me from my despair. Ronan stood in the threshold, looking down at me with an expression I couldn’t decipher. I steeled myself, anticipating another outburst, another heated exchange, but his demeanor was oddly composed.
“No matter what you throw at me, no matter what you try… I’m not walking away without you,” he declared, his voice deep and unwavering. He pivoted to depart, but his way was obstructed by Kael, who stood there, his eyes cold as frozen steel.
“You will depart,” Kael stated, his words a deep rumble. “This is my domain.”
“Force me, then.” Ronan growled as he shoved past Kael, his shoulder colliding with Kael’s in a clear provocation.
With a resigned exhale, Kael turned his attention to me, his features easing just a bit. I could see the concern carved into his expression, the anxiety he typically worked so hard to conceal.
Deep inside, I knew that neither Ronan nor Kael was going to yield without a struggle, and the absolute last thing I wanted was for them to go to war with each other, especially not when a far greater, invisible conflict was looming on the horizon. I had to figure out a way to halt them, to shield them and all the others, even if it required giving up my own chance at joy.
But how? How could I ever get them to grasp that my keeping my distance was the only path to ensuring their survival?
If only I’d never crossed paths with Ronan that day—maybe everything would have turned out differently, but truthfully, I’d relive that moment over and over again.