Chapter 39
ELARA’S POV
My breathing faltered. I didn’t notice how tightly I’d been holding it until a uneven exhale slipped out.
Her mouth twisted upward, and she pivoted to confront me. “Am I mistaken, Elara?”
I sensed all the stares fixed on me, Ronan included. This felt overwhelmingly oppressive. I couldn’t stay any longer.
My gaze shifted to Ronan; he appeared torn, a mix of feelings etched across his features. Rage, hurt, compassion.
“This was an error; I shouldn’t have come,” I whispered faintly, rising to my feet. I faced Ronan with a respectful incline. “I’ll depart now.”
Before he could reply, I dashed from the throne hall, making for my rooms. I wasn’t sure if he simply allowed her to spew all that unchecked. Had he picked up on anything? Might she have whispered something to him? Since Kael showed up, the vibe had shifted. What mistake was I making? I’d strived so much to stay composed, yet nothing seemed effective.
Abruptly, from my peripheral vision, a limb extended, seized my arm, and yanked me into a shadowed nook. I was on the verge of yelling when a palm clamped over my lips.
The second my eyes locked onto those familiar, sharp ice-blue ones, my stomach plummeted. I recognized him instantly.
Kael.
I struggled to break loose from his hold, but it only prompted him to clamp down harder. “Just hold still, please,” he begged, his gaze sweeping the surroundings, as though vigilant for observers.
“We need to converse,” he went on, “But not in this spot.” He then faced me. “If I release your mouth, vow not to yell or act rashly?”
I remained motionless, not even nodding or shifting. I simply crossed my arms over my chest. With an exhale, he gradually pulled his hand away from my lips and eased his grasp on me. The instant his hold slackened, I attempted to bolt, but he restrained me, pressing me to the wall.
“What did I just say?!”
“Why would I listen?!” I growled, my fury echoing his. “Why?!”
His expression softened abruptly, and he released me, stepping back unsteadily. He raked a hand through his locks, a gesture of exasperation. “I’m sorry; it’s just… we must discuss this.”
“About?”
“All of it.”
“Not interested, Kael. You chose your path ages ago; why revisit it now? To what end?” Even as I projected strength and detachment outwardly, inwardly I wanted to weep, to shout. He couldn’t discard me, then reappear when my existence had finally stabilized and pretend he could negotiate his return.
“It’s a lengthy tale, Elara,” he replied after a drawn-out silence. “I can’t unpack it all immediately. But grant me an opportunity… please,” his voice gentled as he held my gaze, nearly imploring.
“Fine,” I answered before my mind could fully register the words. Seriously? Had I just consented? I could sense my wolf ready to rip me apart internally. She remained furious, and so did I.
But if Kael insisted on speaking… I supposed I’d permit it.
He guided me from the alcove and into a library. I’d resided in this palace for an extensive period, yet I’d never once ventured into the palace’s library.
I perched on a stool as he braced against the wall; the silence grew profoundly uncomfortable, the strain between us thick and evident.
“You wished to speak?” I barked, growing annoyed by the awkwardness.
“Yes…” He released a breath from his mouth and took the stool facing me. His gaze evaded mine while he wrung his hands. He appeared anxious; for the first time ever, Kael Lincoln seemed at a loss for what to say.
“It’s a drawn-out account…”
“You’ve mentioned that twice, and now I’m prepared to listen. So please, Kael, don’t delay further,” I averted my eyes, focusing on the volumes. “Just express what you need to.”
“Before I delve in… I just want to express my regret,” he started; I turned toward him, instantly wishing I hadn’t. He seemed so wretched, unlike the MAN who’d spurned me and wrecked my world. My chest throbbed merely from the sight.
I shook my head, attempting to banish any residual emotions for him. “For? What precisely? Casting me aside? Humiliating me? Exploiting me?” The recollections flooded back, and all I experienced was the bottled-up fury directed at him.
“All of it…” His stare remained glued to the ground. “I realize an apology falls short.”
I huffed, cutting him off. “Naturally, it does.”
“But Elara,” he faced me, something indefinable in his eyes. “There’s a rationale behind every action that occurred. I vow I never intended to…”
I folded my arms across my torso and exhaled sharply. “A rationale? What conceivable rationale could you possess, Kael?”
Abruptly, his gaze shadowed, his mouth forming a grimace. I recoiled at his swift shift in demeanor. “Darius,” he uttered, the name dripping from his lips like venom.
“Who’s Darius, and how does he factor into this?”
“Everything,” he pressed on, his demeanor growing even more somber.
“Everything?” I raised an eyebrow at him, both entertained and perplexed by his abrupt assertion. “So this ‘Darius’”—I gestured quotation marks—“is the cause of what you inflicted on me? Honestly?”
“I’m earnest, Elara,” he retorted sharply, then inhaled deeply several times to steady himself. “I know it sounds illogical, but it’s factual. All I did to you was deliberate. I was…” He shook his head, his scowl easing. “Merely attempting to shield you from him.”
I released a profound breath, striving to absorb what he’d just disclosed. “Why?” was the only query I could muster; I yearned to probe further, but nothing clicked for me.
Why would Kael commit such painful acts toward me solely due to one individual? Who even was he?
“Because… Elara, you’re a blood healer. The sole remaining Blood Healer alive.”
“And? How does that connect to this Darius?”
“Everything.”