Chapter 12: 12

With nothing else to do, I pad into the bathroom and close the door.

I can’t remember the last time I showered without an audience. The showers at the shelter are always overcrowded, with lukewarm water at best, which is why I take Theo to the gym. Took him there, I suppose, since I doubt we’ll be able to do that anymore.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. That’s a worry for tomorrow. For right now, I have a sleeping boy in the other room and a clean, hot shower to luxuriate in.

The water is almost too hot, but I don’t mind. It washes over my achy muscles as I finally let myself think about Viktor.

He saved me, yes. If he hadn’t shown up, Greg would have taken advantage of me and probably kicked me out without even giving us a room. So, I owe Viktor for the bed and the shower and the food.

But why would he do it?

If he owns motels like this one all over the city, then he has to know unsavory things are happening on the premises. Most people coming to these places are renting by the hour, and everyone knows it. He wouldn’t be worried about someone as inconsequential as me running off to tell people what the clerk had done to me. The reputation of his business wasn’t in jeopardy. So, there was no need for him to be kind to me, to make amends. Why did he?

Pity is the first option that pops into my mind, but men like him—powerful, wealthy, and incredibly handsome—rarely ever have a concern for the less fortunate. I’ve met enough of them to know that they believe they got to where they are because of hard work and that I got to where I am because of a lack of it. If I could only work more hours, spend my money more responsibly, and open a savings account, then things would turn around for me. As though I haven’t been trying that for the last four fucking years.

I feel latent anger rising up inside of me, and I tip my head back into the spray and remind myself that Viktor didn’t say any of that. He was nice to me. And Theo.

He was also handsome.

I know that shouldn’t have a bearing on the situation, but how could it not? One minute, I was desperate and sandwiched between a dirty wall and an even dirtier man. The next, I was looking up at a square-jawed, blue-eyed savior. My prejudices aside, Viktor has been nothing but a saint to me, and I have no reason not to trust him.

So, why don’t I?

I towel off, and slip back into my jeans and T-shirt. Is this one-night stay just a taste of what Viktor can offer before he, like most men I’ve known in my life, expects something in return? Or is he really as kind as he seems?

I quickly do the math of how long it would take staying in the free room before I could save up enough for a deposit on an apartment. I’d need first and last month’s rent plus the fees, but once I had that, I could make the monthly rent fine.

I don’t know how much Viktor is willing to give, but when there is a knock at the door, I know that right now, he’s at least willing to give me one night and a meal. I plan to take it.

“Your food,” a young red-haired man says. His nose is covered in freckles. He looks like he can’t be older than twenty.

I step into the breezeway and pull the door partially closed behind me so I don’t wake up Theo. “Sorry, I wish I had a tip or something, but I really don’t have anything to—”

“Viktor told me not to accept anything if you did offer it,” he says, waving away my concerns. “So don’t worry about it.”

I nod and take the food. Grease is leaking from the bottom of the bag, and I think I probably should have ordered a salad, but I didn’t want to make my free meal rabbit food. I wanted it to be indulgent.

The man smiles and turns to leave.

“Wait.”

He turns back, eyebrows raised. “Do you need something else?”

“Um, well. Actually, I just wanted to know who Viktor is.”

“Viktor?” he asks as though I might be mentally slow. “The owner. The man who gave you the room.”

“I know who he is,” I explain. “But I’d like to know who he is.”

The kid frowns and shrugs. “I mean, I’m not sure how to answer that. To be honest, I don’t know him very well. This is the most time he’s ever spent around this motel. I know he owns a few of them, but I probably can’t say much more than that.”

I tilt my head to the side. “You can’t? What does that mean?”

“It means you should probably enjoy the room and the food and leave it alone.” He smiles. “I don’t mean that to sound rude. It’s just the truth.”

“I’m not good at leaving things alone.” I check my front pocket for the room key and then pull the door all the way closed. “If my kid is sleeping here, I want to know who I’m dealing with.”

The kid steps forward and drops his voice. “Listen, I’m just trying to pay my way through community college. This job works with my schedule, and I’m not looking to get fired.”

“And I’m not looking to get you fired,” I say. “Just tell me his name at least.”

“That I can tell you,” he says, letting out a short sigh of relief. “His name is Viktor Kornilov.”

It’s a miracle I don’t drop the bag of food.

It’s a miracle I manage to smile and thank the redheaded kid and make it inside without my knees giving way.

I know that name.

Kornilov.

A name I’ve remembered and feared and avoided as though it was the boogeyman. As though saying it in a mirror three times would bring out a ghoul or a monster to hurt me. Because he did hurt me.

Not Viktor, but his brother.

I see the family resemblance now. Viktor is broad and menacing where Fedor is lean and charming. But they have the same golden coloring and the same mouths that turn down at the corners. The same mouth Theo has.

I want to grab Theo and run. But I can’t.

For the first time in weeks—maybe months—Theo is getting a solid night of sleep. I can’t take that away from him.

Robotically, I take my food to the small table at the back of the room and unwrap it. It seemed appetizing when I ordered it, but now the thought of it turns my stomach. I can’t imagine eating anything.

I push away from the table, lean forward, and cradle my head in my hands.

Fedor saved me once, too.

I was at a concert a few weeks before I was supposed to head off for college. A man kept grinding against me and wouldn’t take no for an answer. When he got especially rough, Fedor appeared. He was smaller than the man, but something about his presence was menacing, and the creep held up his hands and left. I thanked him, we talked, and he bought me a drink.

Just like Viktor, I thought Fedor was handsome.

How lucky am I? I thought when he asked if he could buy me a drink.