Chapter 37 The Thing I Refuse To Lose (Ethan’s POV)
She didn’t open the door as she used to. That was how it began.
I stood outside Demilia’s room longer than I should have, listening to the quiet. But there was no movement, no approaching footsteps. No sound of her pacing, no soft breaths through the door like I’d grown used to sensing.
There was nothing. I knocked once.
“Demilia.”
But was welcomed by silence. I knocked again, but harder this time. “Open the door.”
Still nothing happened. A muscle in my jaw jumped, informing me that things had changed.
She’d never done this before...not really. Even when she was angry, even when she was afraid, there had always been a pull between us. A tension, a lot response. But right now, there was only absence, and in my side, absence was unacceptable.
“She’s resting,” one of the maids said nervously from down the hall. “She asked not to be disturbed.”
She asked, which included me. The words scraped against something ugly inside me.
I turned slowly to take my leave. “Since when does she give instructions in my house?”
The maid paled, knowing how stern I could be with my punishment. “S...she seemed unwell, sir.”
I dismissed her with a flick of my hand and stepped back from the door immediately. I told myself it was temporary, that somehow, she would come around. She just needed space.
That she would come back to me when the emotions settled properly the way it's supposed to be. But something darker whispered the truth to me: She was gradually pulling away.
And I didn’t accept loss. Not ever, not now!
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The next morning was even worse. She didn’t come down for breakfast as usual. Something that she has always done since her arrival. Has it gotten to the point that she didn’t respond to my message.
She didn’t even acknowledge my presence when I crossed paths with her in the corridor...she walked past me like I was furniture.
Not out of anger, not defiance, but just indifference. That was the part that crawled under my skin.
“Where is she?” I demanded quietly. The housekeeper hesitated. “In the garden, sir. With Lena.”
Lena again! I hated that woman’s influence and her guts
I followed without announcing myself, stopping just out of sight near the hedges.
Demilia was sitting on a bench, wrapped in a light shawl. Lena stood close, speaking softly. Demilia nodded occasionally, her hands folded protectively over her abdomen.
That sight...That single gesture...Lit something feral inside me. Something like oossession tightened its grip.
I stepped forward immediately.
Lena noticed first the changes. Her expression hardened immediately. Demilia didn’t look at me.
“Good morning,” I said evenly.
There with Silence.“I asked how you were feeling,” I added. She exhaled slowly. “I’m fine.”
That are if you want to roade. Her voice was distant, stripped of warmth.
“Come inside,” I said. “It’s cold.”
“I’m comfortable.” That word again.Comfortable without me. Lena crossed her arms. “She needs peace right now.”
I ignored her. “I wasn’t speaking to you.”54. Demilia finally looked up.
And the calm in her eyes terrified me.l more than anything.
“I need you to stop hovering,” she said. “It’s making things worse.”
My chest tightened. “Worse for who?”
“For me.”
I stepped closer. “You don’t get to decide that alone.”
She stood to meet her gaze.
“I do,” she said quietly. “Because it’s my body, my mind. And whatever is happening to me..."
She paused, like the words could stay. “...you don’t get to control it.” The word snapped something in me.
Control. Everyone thought they understood it.They didn’t.
Control wasn’t cruelty. It was safety, was structure. It was how I protected what mattered.
“You’re spiraling,” I said sharply. “And I won’t let you hurt yourself.” Her eyes flashed. “You don’t get to play savior now.” I turned to Lena. “Leave us.”
“No,” Demilia said immediately. “She stays.”vThe rejection hit harder than any slap.
I looked at Lena again, rally looked at her.She wasn’t afraid of me.That made her even more dangerous. “Very well,” I said calmly, way too calmly. “We’ll talk later.”
I walked away before I did something irreversible.
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That night, I didn’t sleep. I sat in my study, whiskey untouched, watching the live feed from the hallway camera outside her room. She paced restlessly, then sat down. She curled in on herself.
Every movement tightened the vice in my chest. She was slipping through my fingers, gradually losing herself. I called my private doctor immediately.
“She’s under stress,” he said carefully. “Which is dangerous in her condition.”
“I’m managing it,” I replied coldly.
“Are you?” he asked. I ended the call almost immediately. The house was quiet, but my mind wasn’t.
Vanessa’s face surfaced uninvited. I clenched my fist. She’d been around too much lately.
Smiling too sweetly, speaking too softly, always watching.
I picked up my phone and dialed security.
“I want a full report,” I said. “Every interaction Vanessa has had with Demilia, on every every visit. Every conversation.” was more of “Yes, sir.” I leaned back, eyes burning.
If Vanessa were involved in this fracture, she would regret it. No one touched what was mine. Not when I'm doing that.
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The next day, Demilia didn’t come to dinner, and I lost it, snapping angrily. I went to her room without knocking and pushed the door open. She was sitting on the bed, papers spread out around her.
She didn’t look surprised to see me. “I told you to stop barging in,” she said.
I ignored that, pretending like I don't since. “What are those?” I demanded. She covered them instinctively. “That’s none of your business.”My vision darkened. Like weddings.
“You’re my wife right now.” She laughed softly. “That’s convenient to say
”I crossed the room. “You don’t get to shut me out.”
“I already have.” That stopped me cold. I stared at her, breathing hard, trying to pose well.
“You think this is over?” I asked dangerously. “I think whatever this is,” she replied, “is breaking me.”
I wanted to grab her. Shake her every well. Pull her into my arms and remind her who she belongs to. Instead, I forced myself still. I would not beg. I would not chase. I would adapt.