Chapter 258

Lyra’s POV

I remained in SilverClaw, refusing to leave Kade’s side for the next three days. However, unfortunately, he did not budge an inch. His hands remained as cold as they were when I first saw him lying on this bed, and even though his skin was no longer black, he still looked dead. There was no change to his condition.

For several moments over the last three days, my mind spiraled, frantically wondering what had gone wrong—wondering if I had remembered the cure wrongly, or wondering if I had only made his condition worse.

Goddess, please, I prayed for the hundredth time.

Violetta had come in and out to check on me together with Silas and Thorne, who were worried and kept recommending that I just leave Kade and get some rest for myself. But how could I rest knowing that the only reason Kade was still lying on this bed dying was because of me?

Mina had lost sensation in her legs one more time, just as she had described before, so she was currently not with me and had gone to get some rest after being treated by one of the physicians. I wished that there was some kind of permanent solution I could offer her.

Just as this thought crossed my mind, the door opened, and a guard stepped inside. “Luna, there is somebody here to see you.”

“Who is it?” I asked.

The door opened wider to reveal Selene. She was wearing a simple black dress, and her hair was tied up in a messy bun. She looked travel-worn, and she gave me a sheepish smile.

“Hello,” she said.

“Selene!” I gasped, standing up and rushing over to wrap my arms around her. “What on earth are you doing here?”

“You left without saying goodbye, so I decided to come without informing you,” she said. “Is he still…” She gestured toward the bed and winced with pity as she noticed his state. “I am so, so sorry, Lyra.”

“It’s okay. I am hopeful,” I said to her, even though I really wasn’t. After three days of no changes in Kade, what was there to hope for any longer?

“Zoey, Adeline and Qamar send their greetings. Also, the Council of Elarion will be meeting soon,” she said. “You were sent a formal letter of invitation, and several packs have expressed their gratitude. They have been sending us gifts.”

“Well,” I shrugged. “All the best to them. I really couldn't care less.”

“I understand, Lyra.” She paused, suddenly looking around the room. “Have you seen Violetta?”

I smirked. “So you did not come because you missed me, your best friend, but because you were trying to look for Violetta?”

She blushed. “Well, I can kill a bird with two stones—sorry, kill two birds with one stone. Oh my Goddess, you know what I mean.”

I grinned despite the heavy weight in my chest. “Ask one of the guards. She should be with Thorne.”

“Okay. Speaking of Thorne, how is he holding up?”

I sighed.

“It must hurt his heart seeing his mate pining over his brother.”

“Well, he should get used to it.” I told her offhandedly, frowning.

“Tell me honestly, Lyra, do you feel anything for Thorne?”

I thought about it for a while. My wolf still went crazy whenever I was near him—the same way she went crazy over Kade and Riven. But thinking about myself and myself alone, I wasn’t sure I wanted to build a relationship with Thorne to be with him forever. And truth be told, I didn’t want to, because Thorne was going to keep looking for Zoraira inside of me. Even if I had her memories, I still wasn’t the exact same person he used to know. He would want to mould me into her, and I would not stand for that. I wanted to be my own person.

I looked at Selene and simply shrugged. “I really can’t say. Right now, my only focus is on Kade getting better.”

“I understand,” she told me, giving me another hug and kissing my cheek. “I shall be right back. I will keep praying to the Goddess on your behalf for Kade. I hope he is going to be fine.”

“I hope he’s going to be fine too,” I told her honestly.

She gave me another smile before finally turning around, leaving me alone. The door shut behind her, leaving me alone with my own thoughts once more.

I walked back towards the bed and sat on the chair by the side. I reached out, taking his hand in mine. Then, I lay down gently, placing my head near his chest. I could hear his heart beating faintly. If only his eyes would open. I swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears from forming in my eyes any longer. I had cried enough nights, unable to sleep, thinking of what I could have done differently. I knew I would not forgive myself if Kade died, knowing how I had treated him over the past few days.

“You need to leave this room,” a voice whispered in my head.

Trouble was, I couldn’t.

It was of course Arcanum, Not even Dana—my wolf had been silent, only giving me one-word sentences because she was aching badly.

“You are ruining your health,” Arcanum continued. “Leave him. He will be fine.”

“Are you telling me he will be fine as a way to pacify me, to get me to leave this room, or because you know he is going to be fine?”

Even though I could not see him, I felt like I could hear the shrug in his voice. “Does it matter? I think you need to get out for some fresh air.”

“I had some fresh air when I took a bath this morning.”

“Even at that, you still need to leave.”

I frowned and stayed where I was, waiting to see if he would appear in the room. Suddenly, as if he could hear my thoughts, he appeared with a halo around his head, he stood there. He looked like I could pass right through him, almost translucent in the room—as if he were fading away, but not quite gone.

“Why are you showing yourself to me here?” I asked him.

“Lyra, do not make me make you leave this room.”

“You can’t do that. You’re a spirit.”

“You think so?” he asked, with a raise of his brows.

I rolled my eyes and slowly got up from the bed, looking at Kade one more time. “Fine, I will leave. I will take a walk.”

He disappeared right there before my eyes. I walked towards the door, looking back one last time before leaving.

Down the hallway I went, slowly getting annoyed by the number of bows and salutations I received. These people would have never spared me a glance before, but suddenly they were all bowing and worshipping at my feet.

My hand traveled up to my amulet, which held a warm and faint thrum. Azythar’s soul was trapped in there; I knew it, but I still wondered if anything could go wrong. His body had been burned, so he had no host to return to—that I knew for sure. But still, there was that lingering fear that he could find a way back and ruin every single thing. I felt like what I needed to do was not fully complete, but that would have to wait. That would have to wait until Kade was fine.

“Hey,” a voice called out from the corner.

I turned to the left to see Thorne standing there, his wings fluttering slightly as he walked towards me.

“Thorne,” I said in response.

“Do you mind if we take a walk? To, you know, talk?”

“What are we to talk about?” I asked, but continued down the corridor with him until we stepped out into the open courtyard, taking a path that led to one of Kade’s gardens.

I smiled internally as I remembered the training sessions here—how Kade had fought with me, how he had tracked the white wolf, how he had realized I was his blind maid.

“What are you smiling about?” Thorne asked.

“Why do you want to know?”

He shrugged and gave me a small smile. “Well, I’m happy you have a smile on your face after so many days. It is refreshing to see.”

“Wow, that’s so thoughtful of you.”

He grinned widely and nudged my shoulder with his.

We were now in the garden, sitting on a stone bench side by side. The evening breeze fluttered against my hair, and the sweet, fruity scent of blooming flowers pervaded the air.

“How do you feel towards me?” he asked, glancing towards my protruding belly.

I shrugged, resting my hands over it. “I don’t know.”

“What are you going to do if Kade does not survive this?”

I clenched my jaw in anger. “He is going to survive.”

“I know, I know. We need to be positive,” he said softly. “But what if he doesn’t? Will you raise your child without a father?”

“I have lands to rule, a people to lead. Actually, two kingdoms to rule. I will be fine. I will raise him or her well—raise them to take their father’s place when they are old enough. Hopefully, it does not come to that.”

“I hope so too,” he whispered. “I have put everything on the line, and now I might lose my own kingdom. I am hearing there is some sort of movement to remove me as king. And you know what? I think I do not need to be king anymore.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked. “You make a good ruler.”

He chuckled humorlessly. “A good ruler who abandons his people?”

“You did not abandon them, Thorne. You came here to fight because you knew your people were next. Everything you did was to save them for the future. If Azythar got us, the Fae were next.”

Thorne shook his head. “That is not quite right. I came here to fight because of you. It was not actually for my people. So maybe I really don’t deserve to rule them. Maybe they are right that I am in over my head. I have been lost since you died.”

I inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying not to let his words unnerve me. I did not like feeling responsible for his choices. “Not me,” I told him. “You mean Zoraira.”

Thorne said nothing.

“I will step down once I return tomorrow,” he said after a moment. “I will be leaving here for my own lands, where I will hand the throne to my next in line.”

“What do you mean, hand over the throne? You have no heir, Thorne,” I said. “Who are you handing the throne to?”

“There is a list of ten successors if the king does not have an heir. Before he dies or steps down, he must name one of them the new ruler according to Fae law. I plan on doing that.”

“You do not like being king?”

He shrugged. “I would rather be here with you.”

I took in a sharp breath. “That is quite a lot of pressure to put on me, Thorne.”

“I am not asking you to love me, Lyra,” Thorne said gently. “I just want to be near you. Get closer to my brother maybe—he’s the only family I have. I’ve never really had one… It’s always been messy. It is as simple as that.”

“Nothing simple about that. Considering that for some weird reason of the goddess, two of you are my mates.”

“I know what your wolf feels and what you really feel might be different. I know that your emotions are complicated right now. But truth be told, heavy is the head that wears the crown, and I have worn it through two lifetimes of yours. I just need a break. I want to live as a normal person. I don’t want the court. I don’t want the title. I don’t want to make decisions that affect a whole race. I want to stay near the Outbound Lands, between the wolf territory and the other realms—travel around, be myself, have adventures. Who knows, maybe I shall find my purpose.”

“Or find someone else to fall in love with,” I teased.

He laughed lightly. “You’re the only one I’ll ever love, Lyra. You need to know that. But I am accepting that your heart does not lie with me, and that you are not going to learn to love me when you’ve already given your heart to someone else. Which is my own fault. I messed up the one chance I had with you when you came to my land, thinking I was protecting you.”